Absolutely frustrating!!

I recently started watching what I eat last week (May 27, 2008) and haven't been too strict. I decided to cut out all soda, sweets, etc. I've barely ate fast food in the last week, but when I did go out, I made sure it was either something small or something healthier than everything else.

I started talking to co-worker/good friend about how I was going to the gym finally and working on losing weight. He laughed and said that if I was serious about losing weight, I'd stop eating anything with artificial ingredients. He and my other good friend then started saying they don't think I can handle a "diet" and that I'm just going to fail. They then laughed at me. This upset me, obviously.

The next incident was on my way home from the gym Sunday. I went with my parents and we were talking about our weight loss goals and what we've been doing to achieve those goals. I said proudly to my father that I have cut out soda completely (I used to drink a 12 pack in a day, and never drank water at all). This is something I'm extremely proud of. He then started yelling at me that the fact that I cut out soda is minuscule and nothing counts unless I follow a strict diet. He then said I was a failure.

I've made the decision to not talk to anyone about my weight loss except my boyfriend (who I'm doing this with) and the people here at Calorie Count. I just don't understand why every single person I speak to has something negative to say to me about my attempts. Everyone thinks I am going to fail. I understand the fact that this should motivate me to do even better to prove everyone wrong, but sometimes it's encouraging to have people back you up. Especially your family and close friends. Any ideas on how to cope with this?

Wow. My heart goes out to you!

To cope with it, I guess you do just have to prove them wrong. Stick with it. Only time will show the critics how dedicated you are. It isn't easy to change a lifestyle, and making huge drastic changes will probably hurt you more than help! It sounds like you're doing a great thing, and taking the necessary steps. So long as you're informed and know how to approach weight loss effectively, you'll be set.

I'm sorry your father treated you that way. He probably doesn't even realise how toxic his comments were. But know that only YOU can make a difference.

Great work cutting out the soda!! That is huge - I used to have a diet coke addiction and even though it wasn't adding any calories, it was a big deal diet wise for me to kick the habbit - the goal is to be healthy, and every healthy change you make is a win and it matters!

People can be really defensive when you start making positive changes because they take your positive changes as a reflection on them ... I'd bet your father drinks a lot of soda - lol. He's totally off base though, following a strict diet will just lead to failure, following a achievable healthy diet that incorporates small changes that result in a daily caloric deficit of about 500 calories will result in a loss of about a pound a week - a successful momentum that you can sustain for as long as you need to reach your goals. Heck, if you were having 12 regualr soda's a day and cut them out that's 143 calories a can - over 1700 calories a day! You'll loose close to 3 pounds a week just cutting that out!

Don't let silly people get you down, you know that you're making positive choices, and that's what it's all about. Soon they will recognize you as a person who always makes healthy choices and even though they might rib you about it, they'll always also commend you for it.

Keep your chin up!

Wow. Firstly you should be proud of yourself for just sticking with it, and makeing such huge changes in your life. Secondly, I have learned through life that people are often rude and demeaning when they themselves are jelous. Try not to take the penut gallery comments to heart. while I'm on the topic of things I've learned... you are what you think you are.... so keep believing in yourself and that you can do it, and you eventually will!

you CAN do this! i've tried other diets before and i think people get tired of hearing you say this time it's going to be different. All you can do is let your actions prove them wrong. I know it's great to have the recognition and support from people close to you but this is something you have to do for yourself. It's great that you have a supportive boyfriend and of course everyone on calorie count! Good luck with your weight loss! i know you'll do great!

I know how important it is to have moral support from family and friends and how disheartening it is when you receive discouragement instead.  Even so, let me congratulate you on your commitment to reach a healthier weight!  Giving up soda is no easy task, but it can make such a drastic difference in achieving weight loss.

Don't let their comments get you down.  You're not a failure, and you can definitely accomplish your goals!

Ive noticed that when you tell people what you're doing, it only ends up frustrating you. Sometimes they really do mean well when they say "can you eat this, is that on your diet, etc etc". But you dont want to hear it.....I have learned to keep my trap shut and keep it to myself, and share it with others who are doing what im doing and get my support there.

Plus everyone has advice, they think they are right,  and really - this is YOUR body YOUR life so you have to do whats right for YOU. If that means diet coke or water...its your choice because you are the one that has to do it everyday.

Most people are going to be jealous that you are putting in the effort to change your eating habits, etc. because they didn't have the willpower or cared enough to make the healthier changes themselves. Don't let that discourage you. They best support and encouragement you will get is when one day they'll see you and get that "OMG! You lost a lot of weight/ I heard you actually ran a marathon/ You look really good!" face and they wished they could do the same.

Cutting soda was the first thing I did too. Didn't even have diet soda. I lost count of the number of things I would put in my water to make it taste better. Hahaha! Tried lemons, limes, green tea extracts, etc. I finally really enjoy plain old water! Don't miss the taste of soda at all. Over 2 years sober! LOL!

You are taking the right steps - one at a time - towards the right direction. Don't give up!!!

I agree with macmattey.  Especially if your family members and friends are overweight as well.  They may see the changes you are making as threatening because they are not ready to make the change themselves and are worried you may push your goal onto them.  Or they may be jealous that you are reaching your goal.  People say everyday, "I want, I wish, I need", but then they never put forth any effort to acheive the things they visualize. 

One thing that has helped me is to be open about my goals and weight loss when someone asks, but not to talk about it otherwise.  In time, people will see us reach our goals and start to jump on the band wagon of support.  That's how people are.  Unfortunately, you can't get rid of your family.  Hopefully they will learn to support you and your dreams.  As far as your friends are concerned, you may find that you need to pull away from them and form new relationships.  Sometimes, with a major change, people can't deal with it.

You are a strong person and I'm so proud of you and your boyfriend for working hard to achieve your goals!!!  Keep up the good work and never forget.....

The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. 

P.S. I'm adding you to my friends' list.  Have a great day!!!

oh!! thats no doubt sad that people around u r not taking ur efforts seriously but don't worry here comes the role of this site.here u will find everybody appreciating & congratulating u for all ur attempts.prove all those negative people around u absolutely wrong.do stick to ur goals.....all the best...

Yikes! That had to hurt. You are doing the right thing though, so don't let them get you down. Making small changes is what its all about. When I first started losing weight I did not tell a soul, not even my husband, what I was doing. It took a year of small changes before anyone even noticed a difference. I didn't say anything because I did not want to invite any caustic comments, and if I was going very slow I would only have to meet my own expectations. It took me two years to lose 30 lbs. I have 10 9 more lbs to go until I am back to my weight of 16 years ago. It takes time, everybody has set backs and bad days, but the only real support you need is the knowledge that you CAN do this.

Original Post by ndupee08:

 I just don't understand why every single person I speak to has something negative to say to me about my attempts. Everyone thinks I am going to fail.

are any of these coworkers or family memebers overweight? have any of them even been on a diet? my guess is either 

a. they have never been on a diet and only know what they see on dateline about obese kids.

b. they have struggled unsuccessfully with weightloss and constantly failed. 

c. have lost weight in the past after failing at several 'fad' diets, then finally found a 'strict' diet that may have worked for them but isnt any fun, like loosing weight the old fashioned way

sure we can all start a 'raw' diet, of cut out carbs, and HFCS but really watching what you put in your mouth making sure your getting all your nutrients and making sure you are exercising is the best way to do it. 

in a few months all these people will be eating their words if you can stick to it. this isnt going to be an easy journey but it will have the greatest reward.