Abuse Theory

Many prominent therapists promote the idea that everyone that is substantially overweight must have been abused as a child.

I am overweight for two reasons 1. heredity (both parents were overweight) and 2.  I love food and love to eat.

This theory is very upsetting to me because I had great parents and absolutely no abuse.

I would like to get others feedback on this issue.

'Many' prominent therapists?  I'm pretty sure some do but I'm equally sure that most don't.  There is one really sound reason for being overweight and that's consistently taking in more energy than you burn up.  Why/how someone finds themselves in that situation is rather down to the individual.   Even genetics don't play as big a role as some claim.

I am interested to know which therapists say this? For one thing there are a huge number of overweight people and it hardly seems likely that 60% of the American population (or whatever the obesity stats are now) are abuse victims.

I would also point out that you and your parents are likely overweight because of lifestyle, not genetics. Both your parents being overweight simply indicates that they probably didn't lead very healthy lifestyles in terms of exercise and eating habits, and have passed behaviours and habits on to you - not "fat genes".

Genes contributing to obesity play a role in only 1-3% of obese individuals who would likely struggle to lose weight even without loving food and loving to eat.

Therapists like to pin many adulthood issues on your childhood and parents. I was in therapy for an isolated event, and my therapist starting coming up with all these new problems I had, which she attributed to my childhood. She herself was bulimic for 6 years and said she felt she had to take control over her life because she felt she was never good enough for her parents. 

Bull. 

My parents are fantastic. Of course they're not perfect. No parents can be. But they have tried their hardest and have given me tons of love and support. That's all I can ask for. If I'm an overachiever, I can't pinpoint this on my parents. If I feel no control over my life and choose to start binging/purging, this is not my parent's fault. 

(note: I do not have nor have I ever had an ED - I was just using this as an example)

Katie, get a new therapist. There are plenty out there who won't try to brainwash you with this stuff. 

I just remembered something from a long time ago.... My ex's sister went to a hypnotherapist in order to help her stop smoking.  They 'regressed' her, planted what now appears to be false memories in her head and managed to convince her she'd been sexually abused as a child.  It completely destroyed their family and their father never recovered from the accusations.  Not only did she never stop smoking but she also became an alcoholic

I think some therapists find it very easy to pin any character flaws on real or imagined problems from childhood.  'Abuse' is an over-used term and it doesn't help those who really have been damaged to use it to refer to trivial matters.  As the above post says, you don't have to agree.

I have been ip a few times for anorexia and outpatient many times with therapists. I have faced this issue or a trauma event. Both which I have not had. I have had some even say are you sure? I am positive. I think it would be easier for the therapist to have a X=Y. That is not the case for many people. I was never the typical ed suffer and was often made to feel I was. Like for not being a perfectionist. I am talking the opposite. Anyhow what I have learned for myself is not 1 thing has made me have the issues I have. I have one of the most supportive moms ever and really should could not do more for me. I just think some people for what ever reasons and that is with an s cope or not in certain ways but it can be relearned to be healthy as I am doing that now

Original Post by gi-jane:

I just remembered something from a long time ago.... My ex's sister went to a hypnotherapist in order to help her stop smoking.  They 'regressed' her, planted what now appears to be false memories in her head and managed to convince her she'd been sexually abused as a child.  It completely destroyed their family and their father never recovered from the accusations.  Not only did she never stop smoking but she also became an alcoholic

Oh my gosh that's awful. I saw a Law and Order: SVU episode describing something very similar to that. A daughter was receiving therapy for I think depression, and the therapist somehow led the daughter to believe she had been sexually abused by her father. The daughter tells her mother and eventually they go to court against the dad. He is eventually murdered by the daughter.

Of course it's TV so you like to think these things don't happen in real life, but it's scary this actually happened to someone you know. That makes me terribly sad. 

I guess childhood trauma or abuse may be the most common reason for adult mental illness, but that certainly doesn't mean it happened to everyone. It's just like most other illnesses. This is a dumb example, but take mono: it's been deemed the "kissing" disease because kissing is a common way of transmitting the disease. However, just because kissing may be the most common or most well-known cause  doesn't mean that it is the cause of mono for everyone. 

i dunno about abuse from parents, but i've heard a lot of shrinks on tv blame obesity on being picked on by peers.  i just roll my eyes when they ask the obese person if food is their only friend.  maybe that's true for some people, but i'm fat cus i like the taste of food.  eating a pint of ben and jerry's doesn't make me feel better when i'm upset.

i did see something on the tv show "obsessed" on a&e (great show btw) where this woman was anorexic and ate from a feeding tube.  she was afraid to swallow because she was sexually abused as a child and had the problem ever since the abuse started.  but i'm going to guess that most people who are over/under weight don't have the same problem she had.

i think so many people blame their bad eating habits on their parents or childhood because it's the easy way out.  they don't want to take responsibility for their own actions.  ya my parents live a high calorie lifestyle, but at one point i gained the ability to make my own choices and i made the wrong ones.  it's all my fault and i accept that.

I love the show Ruby but they are obviously trying to tie her weight issues with something in her childhood.