Should I just accept it?

Hi. I am frustrated and confused and irritated with myself. I have been struggling with bingeing/starving/overexercising cycle for about 2 years now. I have had some good spurts, some bad spurts, and some ok spurts. I have never been medically overweight, I think because I do enjoy working out (I don't really overexercise anymore but I still enjoy working out usually 5-7 days a week, including running 30-40 miles a week and weight training 3-4 days a week with some sporadic soccer in there sometimes) and therefore have plenty of muscle. I'm 5'2, 20 years old, and over these past few years have fluctuated between 105 and 120. I am so confused about what my natural weight is because I have been messing with my body for so long I honestly have no idea. Before this whole thing started, I was 116 and started training heavily for soccer, going down to about 103-105. At the time, I had certain food restrictions for myself, I ate 2 bowls of cereal a day plus dinner, and was afraid to eat junk food at one point. Well just like everyone else, after several years of deprivation, one day i decided screw it, ate my way back to 118 or so and thats how the bingeing/starving began.

So now, I am trying to become normal again, which is really hard for me for some reason. I'll do well for awhile and then gorge like a pig, and no doing well isn't eating 1000 calories or less anymore or anything. But God it is so frustrating. I did well from Tuesday to Sunday, and I started craving goodies. I gave in, and I shouldn't have and bought peanut m and ms and ice cream. I ate 2 servings of ice cream and some m and ms and some other stuff yesterday, enough to consider it a binge. I made the mistake of only eating fruit and coffee today until 3, and aroudn 3:30 I binged again today, only it was worse than yesterday and I feel awful.

I am always trying to lose a little. I want to be 110, but when I got there I wanted to be a little less, and now I'm probably back up to 112-115, I'm not weighing for a week because I know it will be bad after these 2 days. Should I just accept being 115 or whatever it is when I weigh myself next week and move on? Am I being picky and vain going for that 110? I want 115 to be my high weight b/c I know everyone fluctuates. How does one become "normal"? I DO NOT want to get fat. But I also DO NOT want to waste my life worrying about my weight. What works for you? I don't want food to run my life, whether its by constantly counting every little thing and worrying about gaining weight (what happens when I'm thin) or by constantly thinking about food/what I am going to eat. I want to be healthy. Medically it is recommended that I am between 110-114 (medium frame).

I know this is alot of rambling on, but bottom line, has anyone overcome binge eating and lead a normal eating life now? And how do those of you who maintain your weight keep up your morale? I get bored when I start to maintain and get greedy and want to lose more. If I would have just been happy when I reached 111-112 last year and maintained there, I probably wouldn't be sitting here right now with an aching stomach and a few extra lbs. Should I just accept being 114/115 and move on with my life? How do I even do that? HELP!! haha.

I haven't dealt with binge eating or the cycle that you talk about. You say you're not overexercising but you run an average of 5 miles a day, play soccer, and lift weights...if this isnlt overexercising then I don't know what is.

At 5'2 and 115 pounds you are PERFECTLY healthy and thin.

I'd suggest you eat your maintenance calorie level from here on out and accept whatever your natural weight happens to be. For you that intake is going to be well above 2500. How old are you? Also, the consistent intake will reduce the urge to binge and may solve more problems than you realize.

So be consistent and trust your body. Don't weigh yourself and eat what is appropriate for your activity level. That's what's going to get you to your natural weight and allow you to be "normal" again.

i'm 20, and i don't think this is overexercising for me. last year, after a binge i would sometimes go for 9-10 mile runs the next day, then go on the elliptical for over an hour, then weight train. and on normal days i'd run 5-6 miles and then go on the elliptical for 30-40 minutes and sometimes weight train. i know alot of people who run 5+ miles daily? I pretty much always take off a day a week. in the summer i play soccer 1/2 days a week but i won't be playing again for another month or so, and then it will only be once a week. i don't really think 1-11/2 hours/day 6 days a week is really overexercising? i mean i've been a runner all my life so its not like i want to stop or just run 2 miles or anything, my running time is my stress relieving time, plus i like to do 10ks (6.2 miles) and i train for them from time to time-one at the end of this month. btw, i'm totally not trying to be rude or anything (sometimes it comes across that way online) i'm just letting you know that i lead a pretty active lifestyle normally-5-6 miles is evnjoyable for me, not punishment like 10+ is you know? do you think i should make myself run less to get this under control? I am open to all suggestions!

this website says i burn almost 1500 sedentary, so if i run for an hour thats another 500 cals, adn weight training is probably only 100-200, so i'm getting about 2100-2200 most of the time to maintain? that seems like so much. this is probably why i have a problem. Another thing. Tomorrow. Right now my stomach hurts from the food still. If I'm not hungry in the morning, should I make myself eat something?

yes you should make yourself eat tomorrow morning regardless of whether or not you're hungry. CONSISTENCY remember? that's the key. you will have uncomfortable days until you get used to it but it will get easier and better with time. if you say that 5 miles isn't punishment and you ENJOY it then by all means do it but i thought you were running, playing soccer, and weight lifting almost daily. that would be a bit much. 2100 calories seems about right so continue eating that amount and choose low bulk, high cal, nutritious foods.  

Hi Rikaj,

 

You know some time back I was exactly in the same boat. I am 5.6" and I weigh 126 pounds. I think I am perfectly healthy for my weight & I just want to maintain it. So I just follow one simple rule "Eat everything you want but always in moderation". I feel you should not control your cravings for food. Everytime you feel like having a cheese pizza, nothing wrong in eating it but instead of eating 4-5 slices & feeling glutenous after some time, it is best to just eat 2 & feel satisfied and motivated at the same time. This way, cravings will stop playing on your mind 24X7 and you also satisfy yourself. There are times I have cravings for fried food & cakes, so I just take 1 piece of cake or 2 fried patties instead of hogging on them & feel glutenous. Eating in moderation should be a part of healthy lifestyle. After all, nobody recommends people to eat food in such a volume that they are never to eat again. Hope this helps :)

Sandhya

i am so proud of myself. i had a yogurt for breakfast b/c i wasn't that hungry but knew i needed to get something in me with lots of water, and just had a coffee and whole wheat bagel for lunch. so far so good. i can't wait to workout after class today since I haven't in like 3 days b/c i hurt my groin, have been busy, and then binged. I know in a couple of days if I keep this up, I will be all back to normal. i just need to keep reminding myself that i need to always eat meals. i plan on having a bigger breakfast tomorrow b/c i'll be hungrier. i plan on having some fruit as a snack later, and some grilled chicken with lots of veggies and a side salad for dinner and maybe like a glass of milk and more fruit tonight. i really want to make sure i get enough protein b/c i know i tend to slack in that area. ok thanks for all the help. any other helpful hints are welcome!

Hey rikaj, don't know if you're doing it on purpose but from the looks of what you've eaten today and what you plan on eating, that's less than 1000 calories. Better than nothing but you definitely should be eating more cals regardless. A salad is only going to bulk up your belly even more. Skip the salad and have a glass of milk with your chicken and maybe some rice or a slice of bread. A salad is virtually no cals and all bulk, not helpful for you.

Original Post by rikaj:

Medically it is recommended that I am between 110-114 (medium frame).

Not really, who told you that? 104-114 is for small frames.... If you know you are medium framed and you are 118(?) then you are perfectly ok! I'm the same height as you, small framed and 119 pounds and If I look good then an athlete such as yourself must look hella better.

oh really?  thats good hhaha i think i am medium framed, i took a few online test before and they say i am so idk. I'm probably about 115 now I think, maybe a tad lighter in a few days once the water retention goes down. i know no one else can probably tell that I look any different, but I seriously feel so much larger today than normal haha. oh well, its just so hard waiting a few days to feel back to normal sometimes.

Another 2 cents, and if it's been mentioned already, I'm sorry for missing it, but it sounds like you're not eating nearly enough to fuel your body considering the amount of activity you do.

If you want to (help) stop binging you're going to have to eat more on a regular basis. It sounds like binging (in your case, specifically) might be your body's way of begging for more calories.

hi well i had a problem with binge eating.

i used to work all day, study etc. then at night i used to have a feast a kind of coping mechanism.

i suppose recognise when and in wat situations u binge eat.

i decided to eat if i feel like it in the morning and go to bed when i get home instead.