Acceptance

I've come a long way from my inpatient hospitalization in 2007. I am happy, healthy, have good friends, am applying to some great colleges, and more. Really, I am blessed, and I'm not even sure how I feel about God.

But, like everyone who has struggled with ED I'm sure knows, my problems with body image haven't gone away. I've learned how to deal with them much better and for the most part I have come to love my body, but recently my demons have been creeping in on me...

How do I learn to accept that I carry weight in my thighs, that my hips give me a beautiful shape and not an ugly one? How do I realize that people aren't judging me based on the way my jeans look? (I've never worn flare jeans in my life, and even if straight legged pants aren't as flattering, they're all I wear). 

I went through hours of therapy trying to find the answers and I've never learned them. I'd love to hear what you all have to say.

hmmm...I've found the best way for me to get over my own body image issues is to completely stop caring about what I look like.  Now, I don't mean to let myself go, but to just stop judging myself or looking in the mirror & spotting all those "flaws" that aren't even there.  It's quite liberating not to care what one looks like anymore & to concentrate on how you feel rather than focusing on the outer appearance.  Another thing is to avoid fashion magazines or any tv program that promotes fashion or has skinny actresses (i.e. that skinny girl on the new 90210--I can't watch that show because of her).  I feel much much MUCH better about myself when I'm not constantly being bombarded by those types of messages/images from the media. 

As far as accepting what your body looks like--how about concentrating on how you feel mentally, spiritually, and emotionally instead?  How you feel on the inside as a person is so much more important than the outside package!  Also, think about all the marvelous things you're capable of doing since you have recovered from an eating disorder.  Such as, having an unlimited amount of energy, having the strength & endurance to climb a mountain if you wanted to (or perhaps a leisurely hike up a mountain instead), having great friends, being able to express yourself in a healthy way, feeling positive, and having the determination & drive to further your education.  Those types of things are pretty impressive in my opinion!

My advice (not trying to be mean but....) go back to counseling...you cant get anything here online except some good ideas but in honesty you really should talk to an expert....an example is asking your mechanic whats the best way to have your kidney removed and the impact of its removal on your body....while he/she might know something because they had it done it isnt always the same for everyone...best of luck.

heya,

congrats on recovery so far. im also in recovery and right now am going thru the same thing as u, im havin alot of problems with accepting gaining weight. im still at a low weight for my height as my bmi is jus about 15 but ive gianed about 10 pounds since my lowest and now i feel like i look normal / sometimes big ( regardless of my bmi being low, but then again the ed is not very rational so). Im seeing a therpaist as i have been for the past 1.7 year and basically were only beginng to work on body image issues now. she said in reocvery its usually one of the last things u work on but its something that you NEED to work on to get the ed voice to go away so u can feel better about your body. i also feel like all my weights going to my thighs whcich is seriusly making me feel crappy.

 but im tryin to focus on how i feel and what my body can do . the body is the best tool were given in life to enjoy things so im tryin to see it that way. when u get the neg. feelings try do something kind to yourself even if its jus a face mask etc. somehting non weight focus related. and try remeber others arent judging us for what size we are. it takes a while toput these things into practice and its easier said than done but im sure with time itll get better. and if u cud see someone about it it may help too!!

keep fighting and stay positive!

good luck