'Actual' body size vs perceived body size

I've been fat forever... and I expected that I would still BE fat forever... having success at this diet thing is a shock to my system, and I'm finding it hard to accept. I know that I've lost almost twenty pounds in less than two months (if I'm lucky I'll make it the rest of the way before the end of the month!) That's not an insubstantial amount - it's a third of the way to my first major goal of 200 pounds - but when I look in the mirror I can't see any difference whatsoever.

My brain's playing tricks on me... it says that maybe I wasn't that big to begin with, or else maybe I haven't 'really' lost that much weight and I've been over-estimating... I know I  haven't, and the two inches of tucks I just had to sew into my skirt's waistband this morning so that I could still wear it says that I HAVE got thinner... but my brain's already forgetting the 'before' and wailing that I'm not getting anywhere because I'm still fat and bulgy and my exercise program isn't going as well as I'd hoped it would. It's my all-or-nothing streak kicking in and I need to jump on it and keep reminding myself that yes, I AM getting somewhere. I've made huge changes in just two months time, but I can't expect to be an olympic athlete (or any kind of athlete at all)

If I could definitively go down a clothes size it would help... but plus-sized clothes are so iffy that my wardrobe has supposedly different sizes in it and there's very little difference between them! And I had a very vague grasp on what size I was in American clothes anyway because I've hardly bought anything since I moved here. And all my 'skinny clothes' were left behind in Australia and given away to the thrift store because I was sure I'd never fit into them again! So I don't have a lot to actually compare myself to... 

I think I need to go to the clothes store and have a big trying-on session to see if I can fit into a smaller size of clothing... and I need to bring something home to be my next 'target'. I've been trying on various clothes once a week and watching them get closer to fitting (or fit better...) because it's the only way I can make the weight loss seem real!  

And this is after a relatively small weightloss... no wonder people who have WLS have body-image problems! 

IF you want someone to encourage you to do a little "clothes-shopping therapy" you can always count on me. :-)

I love clothes and I don't really have to worry about a budget, so during my own weight loss I spent many hours at the mall. Every few lbs along the way, I did some shopping therapy. This is how I know I dropped four sizes this past year... because I kept going back to the store and trying on. ;-)

You actually don't even really need to BUY anything... but, I do find that the hours spent trying on and looking in the dressing room mirror somehow does help the brain to process the "new reality."

This last weight loss was just 20 lbs... 15 years ago, I had a much bigger weight loss. I learned way back then that yes, the brain does lag and will still see the old fat long after it's gone. Spending time being objective while looking at yourself in the mirrors, trying on smaller clothes, and even asking people around you what they weigh - so you can get a more objective idea of your own weight - really does help. (Of course hopefully you only ask people that don't mind sharing and won't think you are rude!). Looking at photos of yourself helps too. This is not about vanity - it's about re-training the brain.

Even today, I still have trouble seeing myself as I really am. People tell me I'm tiny and thin and fit, and I am not so sure.

As for the clothes!!!!! If you have the budget, DO treat yourself to something new. You deserve a reward for all your hard work!!! I wouldn't go too overboard... since you will likely continue to lose .... no new wardrobe. Just maybe one new outfit. I recommend skirts, because they are more forgiving as you lose weight.

I don't recommend buying something too small and hoping you'll eventually fit in it. there's too many variables - even if you lose the weight, it might not fit due to your vertical proportions. But DO buy something for yourself that fits today. Something that makes you smile and feel beautiful!

I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I do not have as far to go as you, but even though I am over halfway to my goal, I look in the mirror and don't SEE a change!  I see a change on the scale, I see a change in my measurements, people tell me they see a change.

Most of my pants are baggy on me, but I still can't imagine that I am smaller.  I have even bought a new pair in a smaller size.

I thought shopping and trying on different sizes at a few stores might help me too.  I just have to resist buying anything till I am closer to my goal (plus need the money for Christmas presents!).

It's funny how our brains work!?!?! 

I've lost 132.5lbs.  I've went from a skin-tight 28 to a 16 so far, so I KNOW that I'm smaller now.  I can look at photos from before and now and see that I'm smaller now.  But to look in the mirror, especially without clothing I feel like my body looks exactly the same as it did when I started.  I know that it couldn't possibly, but I can't seem to actually SEE myself looking differently.  I remember saying if I could lose x amount of weight I'd see it I bet.. but x amount of weight comes and I think "well I still don't see it, but maybe at new x amount of weight I'll see it".   Like I said, in photos I definitely see the difference, especially when side by side, but just glancing at myself in the mirror I have a really hard time imagining the old me looked so much different.

I still avoid mirrors in public places (lost 60 lbs and 20 to go)

i'm afraid to look and be disgusted~

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this! It's weird... your brain lags a long way behind your body!

I know exactly how you feel!!!!! I have only lost 10 lbs but have gone down 2 pants sizes....my wedding ringers are looser and I can now take them off....But I look in the mirror and I don't see any difference....I have people telling me that I look great and that I look like I lost weight but I just think they are being nice.....It sounds like pictures are the way to go but I have no pictures of me for the last few years except the one on here.....maybe I will have to start takeing a few pictures :(

Alyssandra - concrete visual evidence is the way to go... that way you can look back at it in black and white and say 'yes, I really HAVE achieved this!' I made a measurement chart for myself last month and record my measurements every two weeks (I'm too impatient to wait a whole month!)... it's another way to reinforce myself that I really AM succeeding!

Definitely take pictures. I've lost 20 pounds, so I see a difference. A very subtle difference. But a difference none the less.

You could also take a picture in the same place and body position so you can compare them.  I do this then overlap them on my computer so I can see the changes better. (but then i'm a bit geeky)  also, smile even if you don't feel like it.  before shots shouldn't look like mug shots

Im a first time poster and a guy who went from a size 54 George Foreman pants, 350 pounds ago, to now 168 pounds and a size 30 waist. But the fact of the matter is, Im just like you. People tell me I look too skinny now, Im constantly haggled about my weight, Im all skin and bones. Yet, I eat ALOT. Yes, I lift almost every day and yes Im very tall, about 6ft5, but Im talking about eating a whole pizza with lunch then a protein shake just an hour later after lifting, and yet, still manage to lose weight. But its just a number to me, when I look in the mirror I still see alot of fat. Just seems I can't ever be happy.

Okl so im not the only one. I have lost 47 lbs, I work out hard and  don't see much of a difference . yes my pants size went form busting out of a 46 (heading to a size 48) now to a lose 40.

I look in the mirror (naked) after each work out before i shower. and i feel like there is not much of a difference.

You know thats my problem, i will not stop, i will continue to eat healthy and work out right. I don't care what my mind thinks. it never shuts up any way.

as for other people saying negative things, thats their problem.

I have thought about this for a while and although my pants, and mesurements have gone down significantly I do not feel much smaller (besides the fact I am tall, so will never be "small", but that is ok) I know that sizes are different depending on so many factors, name, make, brand, cut blah blah and what not.  So I went to a certain store got the same pair of pants several sizes smaller than I had like a year ago.  That is the only way I am convinced I must be smaller because I am "such and such" size in these pants and used to be "such and such".  Does that make any sense?  Otherwise truthfully I just don't see it most of the time.

We all need to remember if we are eating healthy and working out, we are doing the best we can.  We are our own worst critics.

So to all, pat yourselves on the back and keep on your journey of a long healthy life.

Take care!

 

Yep I'm also the same. I've lost 22 lbs, with about 44lbs to go. I have ditched some of my clothes because they are too big but i haven't bought anything new yet, i hate clothes shopping anyway. But I know i have lost weight i see it in my clothes and on the scale, even the guy next door commented today! but in the mirror i look the same to me.

I guess i have caused myself to have a distorted image of what i really see.

I just wonder if its because for so many years i have looked in the mirror and convinced myself that i didnt look too bad, ever so briefly skimming over the worst bits, but now i am looking at myself with a more critical and judgemental eye.

My friend had WLS a year ago and she lost sixty pounds very quickly (80 pounds total)... and she says she's just the same - when she looks in the mirror she still sees herself as pretty much the same as she was before she started!

There is an article in this month's O magazine (oprah's magazine) on just this subject. Tips include:

1) Do a little retail therapy

2) Swap clothes with someone who's your size. You'll see them more realistically than your own self, once you realize you wear the same size, it helps you see your own self just as objectively.

3) Have someone trace your body on a sheet of paper.

4) Use lotion all over your body, every day. This gets you back in touch with your body and restores the body-mind connection.

You'll get there. I did the same thing.

I lost 160 pounds and I'd go shopping and think that pant sizes were lying to me. That clothes just ran big and I was lucky because I liked the ones with the lying sizes. Big head trip. The mirror wouldn't let me see my improvement, nor would my brain.

Went from a size 24/26 to a size 2/4. Now when I'd pick up the pants, they used to look SO small, and I'd tell myself "theres just no way but i'll try em on for kicks" and when they fit i'd freak out and tell myself they're just stretchy or something. It took me until just recently to look at something and see it is bigger than what I am, and to be able to recognize my size.

So you'll get there. It will just take some time for your body image to adjust to your body size. 

I do that. Constantly.

For instance, my boyfriend/guy friend were picking me up and throwing me around like a ragdoll last night and I was thinking "how are they doing it?! I'm way too heavy to pick up like this!"

Or my boyfriend picked up a pair of my jeans this morning and went "[censored] these are TINY." when they don't look that small to me.

S'all irrational. I'm starting to get used to it now and not think like that.

There are is also the matter of how much you have to lose. On my body, I never noticed much feeling better or looking smaller, because my body shape and energy levels were still off, until I'd lost about 30 lbs or so, and started heading towards the "merely overweight" category.

Also, I could wear the same size for 10-15 lbs in some sizes, and other weights I'll drop a size with every 5 lbs (for me, it's a narrow period when I regain my waist, I went pretty much from a size 20-to a size 14 in about a 15 lb increment. But I had to lose 30 lbs to get from size 22 into those size 20's. 200lbs is pretty much that point for me, where my shape changes. And not so much before that, but everyone's different!

So yeah, I lost the first 45lbs, and I'd get the headtilt and "are you losing weight?", and then I lost another 15 lbs which did some body shape changes, and suddenly it was "Wow, you've lost so quickly!" (um, no, I spent 8 months losing the 45lbs it took to get the the point where 5, or 10, or 15 lbs is even noticeable)

I've found it amazingly helpful to love myself, at every size. Check out your hipbone! Get some cute new PJ's, and don't forget you'll need smaller size underwear/bra's too. That's a good starting point when a full wardrobe change is out of the question. Your clothes will fit better, even if they're too big, if you're wearing the right size undies! Microfiber cami's are also _great_ to layer when in between sizes.

Sizes are still crazy. Especially if you don't know what size you are now, you still won't after you go to the store! Right now I'm wearing stuff in L, XL, 20A, 16short, 14A. And this is stuff I just got, too... Underwear, I tell ya. It's cute, you can always use more, and everyone who really matters will be able to appreciate yer new weight with you! (and anyone who isn't privileged to see your unnerwear...well, your weight isn't really any of their concern anyway, right??)