I actually WANT to weigh what I weigh...Weird.

For the first time in a really long time, I WANT To weigh what I weigh. I am 5'4, 19 years old and 119 pounds as of this morning. This has been my goal weight and I am very very happy here.

My question is, how do I stay here? I'm so used to dieting, having a deficit, or, when recovering from my ED, making sure I was over my burn level. So this is new to me. How do I keep up the motivation to eat right and how  much do I eat?

Should I still keep like a small deficit 50-100 calories just to be safe? is that a bad idea? Thanks!

congratulations!!  that's really a huge accomplishment even without a history of an ED!!  be proud and happy of yourself!

i would try to switch your mindset from dieting and weight obsession to having a healthy relationship with weight and food.  your weight will fluate a few pounds day by day regardless so don't beat yourself up if you gain a pound or two during a menstrual cycle or anything.

try to eat moderately and follow your hunger.  if you find your clothes are getting tighter cut back on treats.  no one else will be able to tell if you are down or up a few, so remember you are so so so so much more than just a number on a scale!!

Congratulations on reaching your goal...that is a great accomplishment.  I am trying to make the transition in thinking from weight-loss to weight-maintenance myself so I am not an expert by any means, but my thinking is that if you continue a deficit in your calories you will continue to slowly lose weight.  Personally, instead of a fixed number, I feel more comfortable giving myself a small range of about 5 pounds with my "ideal" weight in the middle...that way I don't freak out if my weight fluctuates slightly!  When I get to the low end of my range, I know I can eat a little more or maybe do an easier workout, and if my weight is on the upper end I cut back slightly in food or exercise a little more.  I'm not there yet, my weight has dropped slightly under my goal but I think that's due to my fear of putting it all back on!  Hopefully we can both figure this out and enjoy being at our healthy weights!  Again, congratulations to you!

My god, we are like... the exact same person!

I am 19 years old, 5'4 (and 3/4), 119 lbs, with a history of ED, looking to maintain. Crazy, isn't it?!

For me, it is a day to day struggle, looking in the mirror and telling myself that I am beautiful and healthy and that this weight is the best for me. It's hard not to want to keep losing, after losing for so long, you know?

Personally, I have found much solace in exercise. I have discovered (against all odds) that I like to run. It keeps me motivated, feeling alive and gives me a deficit enough that I can sort of just eat "normally" and pretend that I am not counting (even though I usually am). I hope the need to count calories will leave me someday soon, I am working on it. But I do suggest finding an activity that you love, and do it simply for the pleasure of exercise and health, rather than having the major focus be on losing. It will just become another enjoyable part of life, but will hopefully balance out the ingrained need to lose more weight, something I can definitely relate to. 

Just be sure to take a little time to yourself to appreciate how far you've come and how unique and beautiful you are. Congratulations on everything, and best of luck to you.

-Kelsea

Thanks for the replies everyone. I have been hearing the advice to keep an ideal weight range instead of a set number so I think I am going to take that and try to be happy within a five pound range. It's hard I just like the number 119 so much, lol, but I realize i have to let go of that. Since I made this post my weight has already gone up and down a few pounds so that is definitly a good idea so I can stop freaking out.

And Kelsea (folkharpist), wow lol! That's so weird when you find two people so alike. Congrats to you too, and thanks for the advice :-)

~Jessie