I admit it, I need help

I'm a girl, 5'0", 111 lbs. 118 at the highest and 108 at the lowest.
I really need help now. I'm not going to say how much exactly but on weekdays I'm eating less than 1000 cals, usually less than 800. On Saturdays, 1000 and on Sundays 2000. I know, that eating less than 1200 is unhealthy so I'm trying to stop.
My question is-
How do I up my calories, without gaining weight and get my metabolism back to normal? This has only been going on for a few months. The thing is, I still want to lose weight but I'm afraid if I start eating normally that I will gain weight.
How can I up my calories, to a normal safe level to lose weight?
I don't want to become underweight, I just want to lose about 10 lbs.

I like to eat healthy, I don't eat fast food EVER. So please don't tell me to "go to BK and get a double whopper"
I'd rather not get heart disease... lol




Also, I'm 15 and I will not talk to a doctor or my mom or anyone about this. My mom hates girls like me, girls who lie about food... I want to get over it without her ever knowing what was wrong with me.

my first option would be to talk to a counselor at school.... is there anyone else you can talk to other than your mom... although im sure she would be willing to help you if your in need no??

also i would try increasing the calories on the days you eat lower than 1000 to maybe double than that your still growing and your body needs all the nutrients it can get right now... i suggest doing this slowly .... maybe by 150 calories a day... i would usually recommend shocking your metabolism back to normal( doctor recommended this) but since i feel as though if you see any weight gain youll go back to restricting .... im not saying you may not gain weight this way but it'll be more sudle....

Hi.

I think that there are a couple of things you could do.  It would probably help to up your calories in small increments.  I think that if you start eating 1500 calories a day and eating double whoppers you will gain weight.  But, if you continue to eat the great, healthy things you enjoy and just up the portions some, you will be able to eat more, have more energy, and still lose a few pounds.  Do you excercise regularly?  If you are excercising, it will help your metabolism stay normalized.  You know that you are young and that your body needs more food than that to grow, so I won't lecture you.  But I do think that you need to be careful.  I had an ED when I was your age, and I did actually get over it without ever talking to anyone about it, but it was pretty mild and I really had to DECIDE that I wanted to be healthy and happy more than I wanted to be skinny, and it was hard.  Good luck, and thank you for being so open and honest with your struggles.

Susan

you definetely do need to eat more, especially being a teenager.

however its almost impossible to be able to tell how many calories you need on a daily basis at our age.

the health effects of doing this isn't good, im 16 male ,5'9 and my lowest was 110, although now im bordering around 126 after about 3 months of 3000 cals a day binging. You may well go into this phase, its very much like starving yourself. When your starving yourself you can't stop yourself from starving and when you go into the binge phase you cant stop eating, you just crave that feeling of fullness, like you crave feeling empty.

its a horrible cycle and i myself fear im back into the starvation part, once you break the bingeing for a few days it becomes easy again.

the best thing we can hope for is just to forget about food. I've lost a lot of good friends, i regulary skip school (im usually A grades) and I just want to curl up at home and hide myself away.

i think an easy way to up calories in a healthy way is to eat nuts. they're good fats, high in calories for just a handful or 2, and i think they're completely delicious.

a snack of walnuts and dried cherries is my favorite.

good luck & *hugs* for reaching out for help :-) 

Hey Skinny,

At your height and weight you should burn 1600 calories a day even if you just sat all day.  But you won't burn that much because you have been starving for so long.  When my sisters were anorexic (sp?), their doctor said they needed to eat above their calories burned per day for at least two weeks.  You may gain a few pounds, but when you reduce your calories, your metabolism should be functioning better.  If you really think that you would like yourself more at 100 lbs than you do now, and you think you can stop when you get to that point, go for it!  But it sounds to me like you may be headed for serious problems.  Find somebody you can talk to-somebody from church, a teacher, a counselor.....  They are outside observers and can help you decide what is really in your best interest.

I'll pray for you.  My daughter is your age.  She is also very tiny, her BMI is only 18.  She struggles alot because people tell her she needs to gain weight a lot.  Good luck.  I'd be happy to talk to you more if you'd like, anytime!

Hollymama

My first question is about wanting to lose 10 lbs.  Right now you are at a healthy weight...if you lose 10 lbs, you would have a BMI that would consider you underweight.

I have twin 15-year old daughters and they looked too skinny at that height and weight (but they ate a lot more than you and still do).  Right now they weigh about the same as you but are a little taller and look healthy.  At your age, you can afford to eat more without gaining weight as easily. 

You may have messed up your metabolism, so to start eating right, you could gain a few pounds at first, but that doesn't mean they will be permanent.  Add the calories for your health and accept you may gain a few pounds with the intent to get healthy.  Then worry about the few pounds once you've gotten enough calories.  Drink a lot, a lot of water when you are adding some calories and make smart choices.  Eat fiber rich foods and keep control on not eating too many high sodium foods. 

Do you feel like your mom tries to control your life too much?  Just a question, cuz many girls your age will develop eating issues when they are overshadowed too much by their moms.  Not because their moms want to hurt them, but they love them so much that they are way too overprotective.  If that is an issue, it could still cause problems for you.  Just a thought to think about...if so, working on that relationship could help you.

Try to accept yourself as you are and love your body as it is.  Too much time is wasted worrying about body image by teenagers...believe me, I know.  I wish I had just accepted and loved myself just as I was.  Message me if you need a mom to talk to.  

When you eat very little your body begins to behave as if it is starving.  This is not true starvation, but the body holds on to all the fat it can to protect the internal organs.  When you then eat a large amount this is immediately held onto. 

What you don't want to do is lose weight.  What you do need to do is eat a sufficient amount to maintain normal growth and to keep you healthy.  If you give your body what it needs - adequate calories and good nutrition, it wll grow as it should and you won't become fat.  The scale tells only part of the story. Stay off the scale! 

An active lifestyle will keep your body slim as you grow up.  Expect to gain weight!  It is part of becoming an adult.  You may even grow an inch or more taller.

It would be better if you came clean to your mother.  You might be surprised at how supportive she will be if you do.

First of all, not only is it do-able to up your calories healthily, it's very important. If not, you may lose weight, but your body won't be getting the fuel and nutrients it needs, and things are going to star going wrong: hair loss, broken nails, liver spots (yes, really, I got them on my hands), losing your period, extreme tiredness...

Also, you do need to consider whether you need to lose those 10lbs. Being underweight is not fun. I'm 17 and 5'1'' and some months ago reached 74lbs: I can tell you from personal experience, it was miserable. It got so bad I was actually permanently sore, because even sleeping hurt from having such sticky-out bones.

So, how to up your calories without BK? First, make sure you're getting your 3 to 4 glasses of dairy a day, very important for growing bones. Eat healthy fats like the ones in nuts, avocados, fish, peanut butter, etc., and eat plenty of fiber. You can also try adding protein powder or powdered milk to smoothies, or other little tricks. You might want to take a multi-vitamin, too.

If you're unhappy with you weight/appearance, I reccomend excercise: it tones you and arranges those pounds where they should be, so you might find you don't need to lose weight after all, and if you do, at least you'll know you've been eating enoough and are keeping fit. Also, I've found exercise makes me hungrier and helped me feel less guilty about it when I started seriously upping my food intake.

As other people suggested, if you don't want to talk to your mom, try a school doctor or counselor. Or, if you want to join a gym or start some sport (if you're not into anything like that yet - are you?) you could talk to  a personal trainer. Just tell your mom you want to be a bit healthier, or simply have something to do in your spare time. Alternatively, you can excercise at home with the help of internet excercise videos and small weights.

Just remember, you're still young, your body can deal witha lot of stuff right now, your metabolism isn't permanently messed up. You may indeed gain a little weight now, upping your calories, but if you keep healthy, it'll be worth it, and you may lose them again and if not, it won't show, because you'll be fit and looking better. Just be patient, and love your lovely young self!