Advice for good friend/roommate

So my roommate is one of my very good friends. I'm a very social person and have alot of friends in my life. I'm in nursing school so i'm close with alot of my nursing girls, and i stay in touch with all my high school friends who are my best friends in the entire world. I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world!!! and my roommate...she has me as her friend and this other girl who i'm better friends with than she is. The other person she has in her life is her boyfriend.

Now my question comes with this:

We are both doing a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and i been together for 5 years and plan on tying the knot about 3-4 years after we graduate as we want to pay off loans and stuff first. Jackie and her boyfriend have been together for 6 years...she is always rubbing that in my face! ANYWAY whenever my boyfriend comes to visit she is like in awe of how well he treats me (like he isnt a whipped little bitch...hes just very polite, will rub my back as i have alot of back pain, holds the door, speaks nice to me etc.) so everytime her boyfriend comes over its non-stop fighting. he is a TOTAL DICK! i absolutley hate him. He calls her fat and ugly. He tells her she needs to loose weight and yada yada....he is like "You have no life, you have no friends except for Jennie and me" he like storms in our place acting like he owns it! he brought his own TV to put in our living room. i was so upset at that i put it outside in the snow and told him he can watch TV with the dog where he belongs! Jackie is constantly crying over him. they went to the mall and Jackie was looking at a pair of earings she wanted for christmas and he comes up to her and says "come on Jackie lets go!" and shes like "no i want to look at these" and hes like "Who the hell would waste money on buying YOU earings?" Just last night jackie asked what he wanted for X-mas and hes like naming things he wants (expensive things i might add like 200$ stuff which is ALOT for a college student) and she started naming things she wants and hes like "What makes you think i'm getting you anything?"

i found pictures of him on my friends facebook that goes to school with him in bed with other girls...yes girls as in plural! i showed her and they got in a huge fight about it and he told her "they were only taking pictures and having fun" but one of the girls had her legs wrapped around his neck so his face was in her crotch.

I've talked to jackie like 800 times to dump him and shes like I know he treats me like crap but i love him. And she is always like saying she wants what my boyfriend and i have and im like YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM! and she is always like "We talked it out and he says he will change and this will be the last time" im like Jackie he has been saying this for 6 years. I used to try to be sweet and sugar coat things but now i'm hard core saying really mean things to him...me and him go at it all the time!!! I'm very out going person and Jackie is my good friend and it hurts me to see her liket his.

I dont know what to say to her anymore. I'm at a loss cause i care for her so much and it hurts me to see her hurt. She is failing out of school because he makes her be on the phone with him all the time. She got put on probation and failed, they let her try again and she failed after her 2nd try...they gave her 1 more chance and now she is failing again. She is super smart she was in the national honors society in high school. Advice what to say to her?!? i've tried getting her to meet 2 of my close guy friends, both of them thought she was nice cute girl they both wanted to get to know so she isnt going tohave a hard time meeting new guys and she turned both of them down who are the nicest guys like ever!!!

Sorry so long. Thanks if you read it all.

It's an unfortunate situation for you and your friend, but sadly we as humans can't just be told things like that. She needs to learn it herself.

I'd try to focus on where she wants to be in a few years.  Does she see herself out of school, married, kids?  What does she actually want?  And can he give her that?  Besides that, we are creatures of habit.  Put it in her court, make her think.  Well, I know you love him, but don't you deserve to be loved just as much as you love him?  If he loved you how you deserve to be loved, wouldn't he realize that you need to study more so that he doesn't make you fail out of school?  Maybe he wants you to fail out so that you need to rely on him, I wonder.  Get her to think, but don't answer the questions for her.  Give suggestions in such a way that she'll come to those conclusions on her own.  Maybe even encourage a break until the end of the semester so that she can pass her classes...again, don't suggest, make her think it.  "Haha, wouldn't it be funny if you took a break just so that you could pass this semester?"

I know I'd probably try one of two things.  Either tell her every time she mentions it to keep doing what she's doing and encourage her to stay in a miserable relationship with a guy like that (to help her see what it will be like, slightly sarcastic, but totally realistic of how her life would be).  Or, I'd tell her to just leave me out of it.  You complain all the time but aren't willing to even take steps to break up with him.  So that she has to deal with it on her own, like I'm sure she will.  Most of the time, people will figure it out on their own that they don't need to be with somebody.  Eventually.  But until she's ready, she's stuck.

So, the best you can do is be a friend.  Support her when she hurts, don't put up with his crap (or her crap which enables him to continue to hurt her), and let it go for now.  She obviously has low self-esteem and I wouldn't be surprised if she grew up in a family that told her she wasn't worth anything. 

And besides, a lot of people "fall in love" during high school and finally realize it's just puppy love.  Not everyone, there are a few that find real love. 

Thanks for that^^

Yeah i agree, i know alot of people dont find their true love in high school. When my boyfriend mentioned moving back home after he graduates so we can be together shes like "What do you think you two are really going to be together?" he was the first guy i ever dated!! so she brings me down on that alot. My other friend who is friends with her just tells me to ignore it because its pure jealousy cause her boyfriend will never be like that.

Yeah, she grew up in a home where her mom was pressuring her to be thin alot!! like its all she talked about. she would bribe her with new clothes if she were to loose weight. She still does it. Her dad is a big time alcoholic and been trying rehab many times. Her sisters both got pregnant in high school and are living off well-fare. Both her sisters are absolutley horrible to their kids! i was at her sisters house and her daughter was playing on the floor and she was eating cookies and her daughter walked up and grabbed a cookie (1 oreo) and she took it from her hand and trhew the rest of t he cookies and was like "GET THE **** AWAY! GOD YOUR SO **** ANNOYING. YOU DONT NEED ANY DAMN COOKIES"- Gives you an idea how her family is run.

I basically kind of agree with what your saying in the sense that i'm sick of dealing with it. Me and my other friend are her ONLY two friends she can turn to. and of course, i'm the roommate so i get the most of it. I'm sick of being the only one their for her and i'm ready to walk out. I know a good friend wouldnt but its starting to affect me. and i need to think what is best for me at this point in my life. I have told her if she is still with him i will be moving out in April, when our lease ends. Its so ungodly horrible how he talks to her and i honestly do agree with what you said, he wants to see her fail. He has been a declared major for 4 years but has taken no classes to works towards that major. And Jackie is needing to repeat all of her general education classes when she should be almost done by now. He holds her back alot and i think he doesnt want to see her succeed because he cant. Another thing: All their relationship is based on is sex. the only time they arent arguing for fighting is during sex, which is ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time!

It looks like you have tried to do everything you can think of to open her eyes, and it just has not worked.  I know you may not want to hear this, but this is her choice.  Based on her family history, she's likely drawn to this creep b/c this is what she knows.  When you come from that kind of a family, especially having a messed up dad, as a female you make some messed up choices where men are concerned. 

Just be her friend and don't take any crap from her bf.  Don't sugar coat things, either.  If she asked for your opinion, give it.  But, don't get completely sucked up in her life and problems.  This is her life, and while you can give suggestions and your opinions, you can't make her do anything.  Just keep this in mind.  Sorry.