Advice for nay-sayers

I'm new to this forum but find it very informative and entertaining - the best of both worlds! I apologize if I've been posting too much or posting questions that have been asked a thousand times before. 

I have been having trouble recently with friends and family members suggesting I have a "problem" because I am careful about counting calories and I exercise every day. I am a healthy weight - 129lbs at 5'6". I am careful during the week - usually consuming betwen 1200 and 1500 calories a day, and am less strict on the weekends (I don't count much).  During the week I weigh everything, read labels - it drives my husband crazy. When I go over to my brother's house I inquire about ingredients etc - and they think I'm nuts. Friday night is always pizza night - I eat a salad first and two slices of pizza and even some ice cream. Saturday morning I usually run for an hour or so - and admittedly I do that to compensate for the pizza and ice cream. Does anyone see anything wrong with what I am doing? I feel fine and am not trying to lose weight, just maintain.

Should I tell my friends and family members to leave me alone?? 

Tell them to pound sand! You should be proud of yourself. 

Thank you!!!

You seem very obsessive about it to me. 1200 is the minimum recommended weight loss amount for a 5'0" sedentary woman; if you are maintaining on 1200-1500 and have to be rigid about counting calories and weighing food, checking labels etc - then you are probably below your natural healthy weight; either that or your metabolism has slowed down from undereating.

It's not normal to ask about ingredients when you are eating at somebody else's house - you should go there to enjoy the hospitality, not interrogate them over what fattening ingredients might be in your meal. You mention both family and friends being concerned about your behaviour which makes me think there is a real problem - after all, lots of people are concerned enough to confront you about your behaviour, which is often quite difficult to do.

Remember also that your body needs at least one rest day per week from exercise for muscles to recover.

In my defense, I'm 5 ft 6 inches - so I am a bit taller than just 5 feet. I think interrogate is a harsh word - this is my brothers house; we are very close and I wouldn't ask if it was a casual friend or aquaintence. However, I do still like to know what fattening things I might be putting in my mouth. I should be able to make an educated choice about what I eat. Also, one day a week I do yoga instead of cardio.

In addition, I should be more clear about what they are saying - I do not think they are suggesting I have an eating disorder - they are more just annoyed and think what I am doing is stupid. I continually hear - just eat the butter/cheese/chocolate!! I should also mention all of these people are overweight and haven't stepped into a gym probably in a decade.

So my question should have been more focused on how to get them to shut up and leave me alone rather than asking if I have a problem or if there is anything wrong with my regimen.

That said, I appreciate your response, but I am confident I don't have a problem.

Original Post by mcheather71:

In my defense, I'm 5 ft 6 inches - so I am a bit taller than just 5 feet.

That was her point exactly - that the calories you are eating might be better suited to a much smaller person.

I don't think it's wrong to pay attention to what you eat. But I do think that 1200-1500 is too small amount to maintain on give your size, especially if you are active.

But to your question how to get your family to stop bugging you, I don't know. Although I'm not sure I completely agree with meryl that you are being too obsessive, I also think that sometimes we should listen to other people because what seems normal to us might not actually be. Of course, that's not always the case - if your family is all overweight, their opinion might not be quite valid, and it might say more about them than you.

It's hard to tell from the info you give us if your behavior is simply that of a careful eater, or that of someone who has a problem, and so I'm hesitant to tell you "just ignore them" since your family might have a better idea of what you do than I could possible have.

I guess my point was that 129lb for a 5ft 6in person is hardly considered too thin or emancipated. Again, I appreciate your comments. I don't write everything down that I eat (I used to I admit) I am just very conscious of what I eat. I know that if I eat a banana split that consists of 3 scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, caramel and a banana of course - it isn't worth the workout it would take to burn that amount back off. I do want to maintain my 129lb - I love being just under 130lb, and I want to be sure my calorie intake at least equals my calorie expenditure. If I don't know roughly how many calories I am taking in- then how would I know how many I need to put out? I enjoy working out - I have a trainer I see 3x a week plus I do cardio on my own 3x a week, yoga once a week. If 1200-1500 is too low why wouldn't I be losing weight?

If 1200-1500 is too low why wouldn't I be losing weight?

Well, you say you are more relaxed about your eating on the weekend, so you might average out at maintenance calories over the course of a week.

Or, you might be underestimating and actually eating more than you think.

Or, you might have slowed your metabolism down to the point that 1200-1500 is in fact a maintenance intake for you, along with the more relaxed eating you do on weekends.

Only you know the answer to which of these is true.

re:  your original question.  I find the best way to avoid comments on what I do or don't eat is to not make it a big deal.  I serve myself what I want, eat as much as I feel appropriate, never introduce it as a topic, and no one else ever feels compelled to make any comments.  If they did, I would simply say that I had taken/eaten all that I wanted to, and change the subject.

If you don't bring it up, they won't bring it up.  Can't you tell from what's on your plate what your brother is feeding you?  Your family may feel like you're "dropping hints" at them to lose weight by asking for detailed info. about food/calories in front of them.  They may find that just as frustrating as you find their response.

Original Post by mcheather71:

I guess my point was that 129lb for a 5ft 6in person is hardly considered too thin or emancipated.

Lol no such thing as too emancipated :P

While you are not emaciated, you don't have to be to be too obsessive, in my opinion. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder (although you also don't need to be emaciated to have one), I'm just saying you sound like you have an unhealthy relationship with food.

But if you are happy with living like that, well, it's your life. Personally I would be very unhappy maintaining on such a low number of calories and with such a rigid way of eating and thinking about food.

Original Post by mcheather71:

Does anyone see anything wrong with what I am doing? I feel fine and am not trying to lose weight, just maintain. 

 

 There are two main areas that you need to consider.   First is that a reasonably active woman your size and under 40 should be able to maintain her weight on between 1900 and 2100 cals a day.  So if you're maintaining on 1200-1500 (a level at which most people would be losing weight) there's a mismatch.   'Undereating' over the long-term is quite unhealthy because you deprive your body not only of energy but also of valuable nutrition.  It may not make a difference short-term (and I'm sure you do feel fine) but eventually you could expect to experience minor health problems escalating to more serious ones..... anaemia, calcium deficiencies, digestive problems, reduced immune system, fatigue.   So try to increase your intake to around 1900 and work from there.

The second area is the too-close attention to detail, ingredients, calorie-counting and so forth.  It's normal to keep an eye on things but it can easily tip over into an unhealthy obsession if you're not careful. "Calorie-counting is a good servant but a bad master"   You should be able to do the occasional spot-check and that should be enough. 

Of the two I would say that the chronic undereating is the more serious.  If you can stop calorie-counting at weekends then you could probably relax a little more the rest of the time.

Hee hee - as soon as I clicked the button to reply I realized I wrote emancipated instead of emaciated. :)

Alot of good advice here - and you may be correct in that I no longer write down each calorie, so perhaps an extra bite of food here and there adds up to closer than 1800 calories. I think I will keep my mouth shut around my friends/family because again, I didn't think about the fact that they might be thinking I am judging them. They probably may still make comments when I only take a half of a twice baked potato rather than a whole one - but I'll just ignore it and move on.

Thank all of you providing info and opinions - it does help to reason situations through with others; even if you don't entirely agree with the responses.