Advice for a very new mom to be?

Hi everyone!  I've been a lurker here because my husband and I were planning on getting pregnant next fall and I wanted to get as much information as I could.  Well, life is funny that way because I found out today that Surprise!  We're pregnant!  It's really early, like only 4 weeks, and I don't know what to do or think about or read or not do...  This is freaking me out a little already because it was so unexpected.  Any advice for someone completely new to pregnancy?

Enjoy and cherish your sleep now while you can.

The "What to Expect" series of books are great - they really helped me through my "first time panicky mom" stages.

Get your maternity and newborn baby clothes from second hand stores - neither you or the baby will be using them for very long.

Rub olive oil on your belly to prevent/reduce stretch marks.

Sometimes it's okay to ask your hubby to fix you a hot fudge sundae at 1 o'clock in the morning.

I'll probably think of others...

Congratulations! 

Congrats!

I actually prefer the "Week By Week" series, the "What to Expect" book on pregnancy freaked me out too much, it seemed to have had more bad news and worse case scenarios.

Take your prenatal vitamin right before bed with a light snack like a few crackers or something, it really helps with the nausea sets in.

Don't get freaked out over how bloated you'll get! In the 1st trimester I got super bloated, then it went away and I had a few weeks of looking normal before my bump started popping out. :)

Don't be afraid to call your doctor with questions, I had what I thought was routine pain and called after 3 days and was rushed in for an emergency ultrasound last Friday, thankfully everything is fine but it is way better to be safe than sorry!

Increase your water! Even if you drink enough now you need to up it, you can get awful dizzy spells from dehydration during pregnancy, and it's easier to get dehydrated.

Your immune system isn't as effective during pregnancy, so continue eating right to give yourself a fighting chance at keeping every little cold and bug away.

Take lots of pictures!

Congratulations!  Let me tell you, I was in the same boat - except that me and my husband had just decided that we didn't think we ever wanted kids and seriously like a week later.... surprise!

It's early for you so you have lots of time before anyone knows you're pregnant, and maybe lots of time before you even feel pregnant.  If you don't have morning sickness (I never did, and I wanted it because I thought that it would make me feel more pregnant) or any of the usual symptoms you'll just feel like normal for a few months.  Relish that time, because nothing is going to be normal for you after that.  :)

Trust your instincts!!  Don't freak out over every little weird feeling (there will be lots of those), but don't be afraid to get in touch with your doctor/midwife if you have questions. 

Start exercising and eating really good, if you don't already.  I was cleared to keep up with my exercise routine and it's become so important to me as I am finally starting to get bigger and bigger.  And don't freak out when first your regular jeans start to feel snug, and then your "I only wear these when no one's looking" jeans start to feel snug.  Eat well so you know that you're doing everything you can to be healthy.

And relax.  For sure.  Spend some time just sitting on the couch and thinking about your baby, or take a leisurely walk and just zen out.  You need to be as stress free as possible and it's a good time to delegate stuff to your husband.  He should be happy to cater to your every whim.

I'm surprised no one has said this yet! Make your first doctors appointment. Some areas won't see you until you're about 2 months, but you can make the appointment. Start putting a little $ away each pay day for the new baby. Diapers, wipes, things like that are EXPENSIVE!

OOOHH, get a membership to a wholesales club, like Sam's or CostCo. Buying diapers/wipes/supplies in bulk is a godsend!

You don't have to go out and stock up now (lol) but its a good idea to have these things set up for the future.

generic stuff ( vitamins/wipes/lotions/soaps for baby) are just as good as the name brand. About 25 % cheaper too!

TELL THE WHOLE WORLD AND RELISH IN THE ATTENTION!! HAHAHA!!

Definitely get rest, take your vitamins, drink water, and don't freak out about every little thing.

Oh, and feel confident in accepting or rejecting advice from people :) Everyone, even strangers (surprise!), will give you unsolicited suggestions and gasp at your decisions. Just be confident in your capacity to be a Mom and make wise decisions.

You will be fine!!

--

Everyone has already stated the joys....but being the person i am, i'm going to tell you what i know from a medical aspect!

Uh, i'm not a mom nor will i be any time soon thankgod!!! but im doing my maternal clinicals in nursing school and basically what freaks me out the most is your boobs like get ruined!!! the mom i'm following was a pretty perky 36B, now they are like not perky!! Im a 34C and my breasts are like the only thing i like on me so if i lost that i'd be crushed!!! So idk how you feel about it. some women its not a big deal.

Also...your vagina gets ripped open to ALMOST the anus. No joke!!! I saw it. (of course i had to...i was in my clinicals watching this birth) Oh man, she chose no epidural so it left me pretty much scared.

your baby will probably look purple!! I think they are just the ugliest little dudes when they first come out. So dont be alarmed if its purplish. They eventually get cute like 6 months later haha!!

Your ankles swell up!!! hers were so swollen when she came in.

Your at risk for diabetes if your baby is like over 11 lbs!!! so dont have an 11 lb baby.

get your blood type checked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously. If your anything negative and your baby is positive (wont know till baby is born) you could have some serious complications to yourself and eventually the baby. I'm sure your doctor is aware of this information. Majority of people are positive.

Not everyone tears.

Not everyone's breasts "like get ruined".

Everyone is at risk for gestational diabetes while pregnant.

Blood type is checked automatically.

Geez. What kind of school are you going to???? You experienced a worst case scenario.

The scenarios you threw out are very rare. The boobs are the only universal side effect, but aren't ruined. They usually just deflate a little. LOL! Nothing a push up can't fix.

I had no swelling, no tearing, no gestational diabetes, no medication, no screaming (lol) and a beautiful (purple headed) 7 lb 14.9 oz'er. The purple goes right away, but you won't care. To you, it will be the most beautiful, gooey, purple alien thing on earth. It was intense and and there was pain and I would do it again in a heartbeat! I have never been so proud of myself.

Blood type is automatically checked and I do agree that an 11 lb baby is not recommended.  

Stay healthy and active and chose the right doc for your needs. If natural is what you want, seek a midwife. I had very little medical intervention during labor and it was perfect. Good luck!

1.  Keep up your exercise routine, even if you have to switch from running to walking.  I walked 5 miles daily and I know it helped with mood, weight gain, and labor.

2.  Get a midwife.  She will encourage you and your body to follow the natural path toward childbirth.  And the prenatal visits can be awesome--not clinical like a regular obgyn.  I had a naturopath/midwife, which was the ULTIMATE experience, because she respected my fish oil consumption, alternative dietary beliefs, and love of herbs.  (Of course, if you want a medical-intervention-rich delivery, by all means, get a traditional doctor ;)  Clearly I'm biased.

3.  Take fish oil.  It's really important for brain/eye development, and it really helps with postpartum depression for you.  The babe drains your DHA (an essential fatty acid), and without fish oil, you will be depleted which can drastically affect postpartum moods.

4.  Eat sensibly, but allow yourself to enjoy food.  I think I ate dessert daily (shame on me), but walking and eating right most of the time kept my weight gain pretty reasonable (35 pounds).

5.  Enjoy preganncy.  I hated it.  I regret that hate, now.  I wish I had savored my big belly and enjoyed the wee one while he was kicking around inside me.  Mostly I just wanted my svelte old self back, not appreciating the beauty that growing a life can be.

6.  Enjoy your relationship with your husband as it is now.  Go out to eat.  Go away on vacations.  Watch movies IN THE THEATER.  It's not impossible once babe arrives, just exponentially more difficult.

7.  Watch Rikki Lake's documentary on birth.  It's fantastic.  It's called The Business of Being Born.  I think you can get it on Netflix, if not at your video store.

8.  Drink coffee if you want.  A cup a day won't hurt the baby, and if it keeps you happy, I highly recommend it!

9.  Realize that the weight will come off, and don't worry too much about it while it piles on.  You are an athlete, and you will return to that discipline in due time. 

Good luck, and enjoy the journey!!!

Jeez, jay2daq, I'm glad those points are not universally true!

I tore, but not terribly. I also delivered with the help of a midwife at a birth center and I highly recommend everyone investigating this option. It's not for all, but at least people should know that the option is there. I started out being cared for in a hospital, but around month 5 I switched to the birth center and never regretted it. I felt I had optimal care, and my delivery was just that, my own. I felt in control, and the midwives stepped in only at the end when they were needed. Oh, and my baby was not purple (lol), my ankles did not swell, the delivery was more difficult than I ever anticipated...so indeed exercise during pregnancy is important to stay ready for the labor, and I'm doing pushups these days in hopes of getting my boobs back :)

Ricky Lake's documentary is amazing, and I recommend it to everyone!

--:)

First, congrats!!!

Don't let anyone scare you.  My boobs haven't changed much at all, and I did breast feed, albeit not very long.

As previously stated, not everyone tears.  I had a minor tear with my first pregnancy, and an episiotomy with my second because I was on the verge of tearing again.  The tear took about a week to not feel sore, and the episiotomy was even less.  Both were more of a minor irritation that raging pain.  No big deal. 

Also, not everyone swells.  I stayed active and drank tons of water, and I had zero swelling.  Make sure you stay hydrated.

Your doctor will most likely have you do a glucose test around 30 weeks(?) to test for gestational diabetes.  Ladies, remind me when we did that.  :)  You'll drink the orange drink and go back to the lab for a urine test after one hour has passed.  Depending on the results of your test, you may have to do a 3 hour glucose test.  The test is routine and nothing at all to worry about.

Your doctor probably checked your blood type at your initial visit.  It is good to know if you are Rh positive or negative.  They may ask you at the hospital.  It should be on your chart, but it's good to know anyway.  My doctor provided me with a card to keep in my wallet.  It stated my blood type, Rh factor, that I was negative for Group B Strep, etc. 

The Group B Strep test is another routine exam.  It's similar to having a pap done, and nothing to worry about.  If you are positive for strep, you'll be given antibiotics during labor so that your baby doen't contract it while passing through the birth canal.  If you have a c-section it's not even an issue. 

Congrats and good luck!

jay2daq, perhaps you should not be in nursing school if you, *like*, think like that. 

Irothell, congratulations and enjoy these precious moments! 

Original Post by jay2daq:

Everyone has already stated the joys....but being the person i am, i'm going to tell you what i know from a medical aspect!

Uh, i'm not a mom nor will i be any time soon thankgod!!! but im doing my maternal clinicals in nursing school and basically what freaks me out the most is your boobs like get ruined!!! the mom i'm following was a pretty perky 36B, now they are like not perky!! Im a 34C and my breasts are like the only thing i like on me so if i lost that i'd be crushed!!! So idk how you feel about it. some women its not a big deal.

Also...your vagina gets ripped open to ALMOST the anus. No joke!!! I saw it. (of course i had to...i was in my clinicals watching this birth) Oh man, she chose no epidural so it left me pretty much scared.

your baby will probably look purple!! I think they are just the ugliest little dudes when they first come out. So dont be alarmed if its purplish. They eventually get cute like 6 months later haha!!

Your ankles swell up!!! hers were so swollen when she came in.

Your at risk for diabetes if your baby is like over 11 lbs!!! so dont have an 11 lb baby.

get your blood type checked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously. If your anything negative and your baby is positive (wont know till baby is born) you could have some serious complications to yourself and eventually the baby. I'm sure your doctor is aware of this information. Majority of people are positive.

 What nonsense!  Don't believe her!  I've had three children who are grown now.  All three were natural births with a midwife and a doctor, in the hospital.  I needed no anesthesia because we used the LaMaze method.  There were no birth centers back then, but it's a wonderful option today. 

A good birth coach and prior training in natural childbirth will enable you to be awake and aware and have a healthy, alert, unmedicated baby.  And no, they are not purple! And no, your ankles don't swell unless you have a medical condition.  And no, you won't tear to that extent - a good doctor will do an episiotomy to prevent that.  And even if you choose natural childbirth, you will have options if you are in distress.  If you can find a copy of Thank You Dr. LaMaze, read it.

I can't stand people who describe the "horrors" of childbirth in such awful detail.  I had aunts who did that when I was pregnant and I didn't appreciate it.  They turned out to be dead wrong anyway.

And trust me, those children are worth any minor changes to your figure.  I have several childless family members my age and they sag just as much as I do - don't blame the baby. 

In my humble opinion, any student nurse who reacts like that while observing childbirth has no place taking care of expectant mothers.  Best go into some other specialty.

I really envy all of you women who were able to go the midwife and birthing center route, my insurance won't cover either of them! Thankfully my doctor is not one of those sterile types, she takes her time with me and I love her. Also the hospital I am giving birth at has many great options in their birthing center, like all private rooms where you are allowed to labor, give birth, and recover all in your own room, giant tubs to labor in, and very individual birth plan friendly. I have heard some horror stories-- like my cousin's wife who labored in the hallway and was brought into a room with 2 other women in it to push!

I do not have children yet, but am on my third pregnancy.  What I can share from my (extremely limited) experience:

Get a good sports bra (ideally one with a little room).  I'm only about 5 weeks into my third pregnancy and my breasts hurt a lot.  In my first pregnancy, I found I wore that sports bra all the time, especially to bed.  My breasts felt so heavy that their weight was causing me pain.

You'll need a bigger bra soon; this isn't the time for Victoria's Secret.  I went to a reasonably priced department store and bought just one.  (And, humorously, I didn't know how many to buy, or how much bigger I would go, so I polled a random stranger.  Thankfully, she was very helpful and very kind.)  I planned on wearing that one out before getting another (who knew how big I'd get!).

And water...get lots of it.  The ironic thing is that more frequent urination is a sign of pregnancy.  I can't figure out if I'm urinating more frequently because of the pregnancy or because I'm drinking so much.

Educate your husband...just because you're dozing at 6pm doesn't mean he can join you.  Dinner won't make itself!  :)  I'm afraid I was a bit rough on my husband the first time around.  I could have been kinder (even with the moodiness and hormones) and let him know what I needed and expected.

Enjoy it...you only get to experience this pregnancy this one time.

@ jay2daq

Please stop giving out advice!!!

Thats all Im saying.

You SAW the worst cases of labour and delivery

I've had 3 children all NATURAL.  No drugs of any kind, no epidural, no TEARING at all.  Not one stitch for 3 deliveries!!!  Mind you  my pregnancies werent the best but I dealt with them the best way possible.

The best advice I can give is read and go to a prenantal course, that reviews everything including post natal baby care.  Talk to your ob/gyn.  Ask friends who have babies for their advice as well.  Theyve been thru it.

I did a couple of things to help with labour and tearing that I swear by.  I used the shower a lot in labour and found it VERY helpful for pain relief.  With my first I was 6 cm.  when I got to the hospital.

Original Post by jay2daq:

Everyone has already stated the joys....but being the person i am, i'm going to tell you what i know from a medical aspect!

Uh, i'm not a mom nor will i be any time soon thankgod!!! but im doing my maternal clinicals in nursing school and basically what freaks me out the most is your boobs like get ruined!!! the mom i'm following was a pretty perky 36B, now they are like not perky!! Im a 34C and my breasts are like the only thing i like on me so if i lost that i'd be crushed!!! So idk how you feel about it. some women its not a big deal.

Also...your vagina gets ripped open to ALMOST the anus. No joke!!! I saw it. (of course i had to...i was in my clinicals watching this birth) Oh man, she chose no epidural so it left me pretty much scared.

your baby will probably look purple!! I think they are just the ugliest little dudes when they first come out. So dont be alarmed if its purplish. They eventually get cute like 6 months later haha!!

Your ankles swell up!!! hers were so swollen when she came in.

 I'd rather have my whole body ripped open then to have you as a nurse any day of the week.  

You guys are so helpful!  Thank you!  I'm loving all most of the advice.   It's crazy how much there is to think about and I really appreciate you sharing your experiences.