36 years old 3 boys feeling blahish about my weight. Ive been at 190 pds at 5'8 for a long time. Married for 12 years. Made the biggest mistake of my life, I had an affair with a man i met when I was 17 years old we have been talking off and on for years and finally just decided to meet, biggest mistake ever. He ended it says he needs to try and make it work. I shouldnt feel sad but I do so now I have alot of work to do on myself, I want to fix my marriage and be happy for myself and my kids, I know I made a mistake. I have made a promise to myself to give it 100% to my husband although I feel hurt.
You feel hurt? What about your husband?
I understand that you are in a pretty bad place right now, but if your first thoughts are about how bad you feel and not how to spend every second making up to your husband your infedelity and stopping him from hurting then I personally don;t think that the odds are on for your marriage and maybe it's time to consider the bigger picture.........
My husband does not know about the affair, and yes I am spending every second trying to be the best wife I can possibly be, I believe the reason for the affair was that my husband and I work two seperate shifts only seeing eachother 20 min a day as to avoid daycare and I gave into my loneliness the first oppourtunity I had. I realize what i have done and am trying to repair and heal. Thank you for the reply.
Do what you gotta do to fix your family. You can't take away what you did, you just go forward, getting better everyday. It's just my opinion but I wouldn't inflict pain on him... its the last thing you want, I know. That pain doesn't go away, and not everybody can always get back to that happy-ingorant bliss, post-recovery. You're not a bad person. You have tremendous worth, and a family that depends on you. Never act on the momentum guilt brings, or overcompensate because you're trying to make up for something. Humans always try to keep score, and if his effort doesn't match yours, resentment will set in, and the justifications will start... making you more susceptible to whatever your demons may be.
Instead, focus on positivity. Focus on building. Focus on nurturing. Focus on doing the right thing from now on. Focus on being the best wife, and the best mom you can be... not because of what you've done, but because of who you are in their lives, because of that renewed commitment to them. Focus on knowing that beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are in the right place, with the right person, with the blessing of a family that not everyone is lucky enough to get. Know that many people blindly shuffle through their day oblivious to the ginormous realization that you now plainly see. You know what's at risk. You know how close you could've been to losing it all... to inflicting that pain. That makes the appreciation of those precious lives magnified a thousand times. Don't lose that focus. There's always hope. Life's about choices. Forgive yourself, but don't forget the lesson learned. Go forward to better days, not backwards, and this too shall pass...
No problem... we all have those things we do in life where we look in the mirror and go "What am I doing? WHO DOES THIS?"...
And the mirror kinda looks back and says, "uh, like, millions of people, all around the globe, throughout all of mankind's history on the planet..."
And then we kinda get a grip and think, "right, ok, i may be crazy but I'm not the only one..." and for some reason, that makes you feel better.
Nobody's perfect. It's just some people give a **** and some people dont. You clearly care. Things get better from there... hang in there chica. ;)
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