Can YOU afford Christmas this year? (vent-ish)

Found this newsweek article this morning. I also heard this topic on the morning radio show I usually listen to while getting ready for work. People were calling in and telling their sob stories about how they couldn't afford gifts this year.

I work in a school on the poor side of town..and I have seen parents come to the office wanting US to find them help to get gifts for their kids. Some even expecting that we should help. I was a single parent myself..and we did not have much..but I NEVER expected anyone else to foot the bill for my boy's to have "stuff". I made my own life choices..and if I had to work three jobs to get them what I felt they needed...I did.

What is this attitude of entitlement we have these days? What is the season really about? To me, it is about giving your time and your love to others, possibly a nice meal and a day spent with your loved ones having fun. Not big-ticket items bought on credit.

Since when did Christmas turn into "take" instead of "give"? Don't you think that our selfish little children ought to learn about giving as well? I do.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/169877?tid=related cl

i can afford christmas.  $120 for gas to drive home to be with my family; $15/day for the dog to stay in a kennel while i'm there.  i might spend $50 on gifts, and if i have friends in for cocktails and snacks, i'll spend another $100 on that.  it's not that different from any other month.

i agree and disagree monarch..... i agree that yes ultimately the responsibility falls on us as parents to provide for our kids particularly wanted items such as christmas gifts! I too am a single mother and have picked up two part time jobs for supplemental income to be able to afford some sort of christmas for my son..... however asking for help is not a since of entitlement at all.... when did christmas become about taking and not giving.... when our president was allowed to price gauge us at the pumps so bad that it bleed our economy dry!!!! when cadallac started using the jefferson's theme music as the background music in commercials.... when it took Katrina victims days to get relief, but minutes to be shot down for looting..... this country has created this christmas monster...... and so as a struggling single mother i understand the pressure to full-fill my son's dreams of a bountiful christmas..... because i dont want him to return to school without and feel left out as the other kids brag and boast about their gifts!!!! so please dont turn your nose up at the women who came into the office requesting assistance..... it takes a strong person to ask for help.!!!!

We can afford Christmas just fine, but have decided to cut back anyway for two main reasons:  To cut down on post holiday clutter, and to send a message to our boys that Christmas is not about the "stuff."  Actually, if it were completely up to me, I'd have a "no gift" Christmas.  (But guess how well that would go down with relatives...not.)

I could never look down upon someone for wanting to provide a pleasant Christmas experience for their kids (it's interesting you describe those calls as "sob stories"), although I admit I would find it kind of awkward for someone to blatantly approach me at work and expect me to help them buy presents.  There are plenty of charities, that I happily donate to, that provide that kind of assistance.  However, I understand that most charities are feeling a pinch this year as well - it's not as easy to get help as it used to be.

Original Post by yellagirljay:

i agree and disagree monarch..... i agree that yes ultimately the responsibility falls on us as parents to provide for our kids particularly wanted items such as christmas gifts! I too am a single mother and have picked up two part time jobs for supplemental income to be able to afford some sort of christmas for my son..... however asking for help is not a since of entitlement at all.... when did christmas become about taking and not giving.... when our president was allowed to price gauge us at the pumps so bad that it bleed our economy dry!!!! when cadallac started using the jefferson's theme music as the background music in commercials.... when it took Katrina victims days to get relief, but minutes to be shot down for looting..... this country has created this christmas monster...... and so as a struggling single mother i understand the pressure to full-fill my son's dreams of a bountiful christmas..... because i dont want him to return to school without and feel left out as the other kids brag and boast about their gifts!!!! so please dont turn your nose up at the women who came into the office requesting assistance..... it takes a strong person to ask for help.!!!!

 Why does it come down to blaming everyone else? The president, the economy, the media? As far as kids going to school and bragging about their gifts...that's just another part of the problem with society and materialism.

What it comes down to recently...and from what I have heard...many, many people are single parents that are struggling. As am I. I have teenagers..so realistically, let's be realistic. I suppose if I saved every spare penny and worked an extra job..I would have more money for swag...but is that someone else's job to pay for my kids' Christmas gifts because I am a poor planner?

Some people are working their arses off...but some (emphasis on some) just expect that someone else will fill in the spaces for them financially.

Christmas is about something else. It is a christian holiday..it has really turned into something ugly. It's about want, selfishness and greed.

Christmas is what you make of it, and in the space of 4 posts, I have a pretty good idea what each of you will make of it.

Peace.

In our community, our high school students take donations for needy families.  It's called "Operation christmas". The week before Christmas, the class presidency goes shopping to buy what they can for each family. I believe the principal of the school requests names of those in need from neighboring churches. These young men and women are able to get donations totalling around $5,000.00 from the student body's own families and local businesses.  We have some great youth and generous people in this area! 

As for the parents who are asking for help...What a difficult thing to do. Perhaps they felt like they had nowhere else to turn.  I have seen children who need for just the basics, not extravagant toys. Perhaps you could take a look at who is asking for help and give a helping hand.  Buy an extra shirt or a pair of pants. Imagine the smile that would bring a child who wears only hand-me-downs.  Most of us can afford to give $20.00.  Heck, I probably waste that in a week on junk food.  Compassion and giving is a wonderful thing.

well monarch, i dont think those women "expect" help... like a said before asking for help, does not equate a since of intitlement at all.... no those wall street fat cats who recieved the big billons bail out "expected" help.... and if our country can do that, we can help a few inner city kids have a merry christmas! .... nor is my argument blaming anyone but rather noting our current situation as a country! NO ONE planned to be in recession..... so whether i had been saving my money since 12/26 of 2007...... given our country's current situation i may or may not be in any better a place to provide a christmas for my son! i agree children are and our society as a whole is too materialistic.... and thus i have made it a big part of my parenting to teach my son appreciation for life, love, family and happiness and that his worth is not determined by the amount of stuff his has.... however it is fact that part of human nature is the desire to "fit in" and be part of a group..... so as a parent i still work to give my son enough "stuff" that his self esteem can be maintained..... kids don't understand that "money is tight, so you cant have the new spiderman action figure all your friends are getting....." Christmas is supposed to be a christian holiday to celebrate the birth of christ..... but it very much so isn't about christ at all..... no it's about a fictitious creature named saint nick who comes down chimney's and leaves a bounty for good boys and girls.... Our country did that!!!! WE DID THAT!!!!

Lastly i wonder if you worked in a suberbian school and those typically wealthy parents came in asking about charities that provide gift assistance you would look at them in the same dark light?!?!?! Or would you think that they have been hard hit by the ecconomy and just trying to provide the "american dream" of a white christmas with cocoa and pretty gifts for their kids????

Original Post by yellagirljay:

kids don't understand that "money is tight, so you cant have the new spiderman action figure all your friends are getting....."

i think you're underestimating kids.

We looked at helping at the mission over the holidays..they are booked SOLID as far as volunteers go. It's the "thing" to do for Christmas. The inconvenient times to volunteer were open...like 5:45 am serving breakfast. They had openings for those times. I would like to take my sons a few times a month over the entire year to help. I will have to work on them to get up at the crack of dawn (actually before sunrise) to help with breakfast. Giving of yourself isn't always easy. But I want them to learn that you do get something back that isn't shrink-wrapped or packed in foam.

I know what you are saying monarch, I do still give to our local angel tree program here, but I really truely believe that many of the parents who sign kids up for charity programs are just bad parents and not just down on thier luck.  A lot of the problems in our area are due to drugs. The parents get addicted and the kids get neglected. I hear all the time addiction is a sickness, but I don't have much sympathy for the parents who chose drugs over their kids. grrrrr. It's not the kids fault and thats why I try to do what I can. My kids will get less this year and they do understand why.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

Original Post by yellagirljay:

kids don't understand that "money is tight, so you cant have the new spiderman action figure all your friends are getting....."

i think you're underestimating kids.

 no i'm not.... even if they understand.... it still hurts non the less.... i know what it is to not get gifts on birthdays and christmas.... and it is a very painful feelings..... it made me a better adult i think..... certainly made me a more compassionate adult! i work with kids who in foster care, they tell me all the time how painful it is not "stuff" on christmas.... and these kids dont want big ticket items.... hell they get excited about new underwear and jeans!!!!

my son too will get less this year.... and i do believe that i have raised him to be well rounded enough to not only understand why, but to be okay with it!

However there is a difference between getting less, and not getting at all! I too have a problem with people who put drugs before their kids, but not every person asking for charity is a crack whore on welfare trying to beat the system....

In our school, we are approached by churches and food banks to help our kids. The employees choose the kids who get the help. We can see who they are. They are the unkempt kids with ratty clothes who come to school hungry. The parents usually do not expect it, but gracefully accept the help. We do however, have well-dressed, well fed children, who's parents drive brand new SUV's come in on occasion asking for help. I guess I think, why not down-grade from designer labels and new vehicles and drive a used car (like I do?) so that you can afford those extras? It's the attitude of entitlement that bothers me. Not the real need..or the help.

Original Post by yellagirljay:

...just trying to provide the "american dream" of a white christmas with cocoa and pretty gifts for their kids????

While I respect the efforts of all parents to provide an enjoyable Christmas for their kids, I have to question the idolization of an "american dream" Christmas with "cocoa and pretty gifts."  This is not what Christmas is about, Bing Crosby and Macy's commericals notwithstanding.

I'm not normally one for Christmas specials, but there is one that I can't help but watch every year - The Homecoming: A Christmas Story (The Waltons).  At the end, the kids are getting their gifts - each only getting one gift.  And all of them were ecstatic for the single thing they got, handed to them by their father who almost didn't make it home.

this thread is so full of contradictions i can't even begin to understand the point.

well, i understand santo and split, but the rest is just bizarre.

Original Post by yellagirljay:

NO ONE planned to be in recession.....

Everyone who was paying attention should have planned on it... 

well by no means did i mean to confuse anyone.... just saying we should look at the bigger picture before we judge! i mean isn't that the christain way..... as this is a christian holiday for some right?!?!?

Original Post by yellagirljay:

i mean isn't that the christain way.....

Well, my hat's off to you if you can find any large group of people who can agree on what the "Christian way" is.

tis true santo.... tis true!

Original Post by santonacci:

Original Post by yellagirljay:

i mean isn't that the christain way.....

Well, my hat's off to you if you can find any large group of people who can agree on what the "Christian way" is.

apparently in this thread it's "help people out as long as they're not drug addicts.  and they don't drive shiny cars.  and they're not greedier than me.  and it's convenient."

Actually, the "conveinient" part you are taking out of context. I stated that the volunteer slots for the early morning breakfasts at the Mission were taken because it is so early. They were booked solid at all other times. I also stated that my boys  ARE going to get up early and were going to help. I never said that it was only okay to give it were convenient for me. Or them. So you can disclude that bit.

As for people having an attitude of entitlement...yeah, I don't like that. I also do not like that people who are doing fine take charity..or demand it...and leave less for the the people who actually need it.