Can YOU afford Christmas this year? (vent-ish)
Found this newsweek article this morning. I also heard this topic on the morning radio show I usually listen to while getting ready for work. People were calling in and telling their sob stories about how they couldn't afford gifts this year.
I work in a school on the poor side of town..and I have seen parents come to the office wanting US to find them help to get gifts for their kids. Some even expecting that we should help. I was a single parent myself..and we did not have much..but I NEVER expected anyone else to foot the bill for my boy's to have "stuff". I made my own life choices..and if I had to work three jobs to get them what I felt they needed...I did.
What is this attitude of entitlement we have these days? What is the season really about? To me, it is about giving your time and your love to others, possibly a nice meal and a day spent with your loved ones having fun. Not big-ticket items bought on credit.
Since when did Christmas turn into "take" instead of "give"? Don't you think that our selfish little children ought to learn about giving as well? I do.
IMO, it's all about your outlook and how you were raised. We never had much money in my family despite the best of efforts. In my family it's a perfectly fine gift to get socks for christmas. Last year we all got tire gauges since we're not living at home anymore. We tend to give each other things that are needed. Rarely someone would get something "fun" as a gift, and usually it's because we all pooled in a little extra money for it.
We've stuck pretty well to a rule of maximum of $20 a person (with a family of six that was quite a lot to spend on gifts - it was the same amount we'd spend per person on birthdays). And it's fine, because it's the spirit of giving. Nothing made my parents happier than the handmade gifts and cards. We liked the little trinkets in the stockings (I loved getting new colored pencils or markers). Our main focus was the christmas day breakfast, because it wasn't the usual fend for yourself meal - instead of oatmeal or cereal we had biscuits & gravy and eggs. It was about being together. It was also a real treat just to have more time to play instead of being at school! As a teen it meant more time to sleep ;)
I know I wished we could have all the nice things other kids talked about getting for christmas. That's how kids are. Still, I don't regret it looking back at all. Money will probably always be tight in my family, so we just learned early what was 'need' and what was 'want'. We can better appreciate the 'small' gifts, because they are still significant.
I imagine that with the financial pinch going around a lot more people are going to learn to enjoy christmas in a different way than usual. I don't think it's a bad thing, either.
i like the way you put that pg.....
and well monarch, i find it interesting that even you stated you would like to send your boys a few times a year to volunteer but somehow i gather that like everyone else feeling the "holiday guilt" you only managed to send them for the christmas morning breakfast..... perhaps we have found the underlying issue with why this "mythological" sense of entitlement bothers you so.... is it perhaps because you realize that you indeed should be more charitable than you have been.... but instead of accepting that and doing better you displace your frustrations on others?????
Original Post by windrinre:
IMO, it's all about your outlook and how you were raised. We never had much money in my family despite the best of efforts. In my family it's a perfectly fine gift to get socks for christmas. Last year we all got tire gauges since we're not living at home anymore. We tend to give each other things that are needed. Rarely someone would get something "fun" as a gift, and usually it's because we all pooled in a little extra money for it.
We've stuck pretty well to a rule of maximum of $20 a person (with a family of six that was quite a lot to spend on gifts - it was the same amount we'd spend per person on birthdays). And it's fine, because it's the spirit of giving. Nothing made my parents happier than the handmade gifts and cards. We liked the little trinkets in the stockings (I loved getting new colored pencils or markers). Our main focus was the christmas day breakfast, because it wasn't the usual fend for yourself meal - instead of oatmeal or cereal we had biscuits & gravy and eggs. It was about being together. It was also a real treat just to have more time to play instead of being at school! As a teen it meant more time to sleep ;)
I know I wished we could have all the nice things other kids talked about getting for christmas. That's how kids are. Still, I don't regret it looking back at all. Money will probably always be tight in my family, so we just learned early what was 'need' and what was 'want'. We can better appreciate the 'small' gifts, because they are still significant.
I imagine that with the financial pinch going around a lot more people are going to learn to enjoy christmas in a different way than usual. I don't think it's a bad thing, either.
I grew up in a foster home, free lunches and welfare....and I did not get a lot either. I don't think if I had been handed everything I wanted as a kid, it would have built as much character and imagination as NOT having everything I wanted did.
Original Post by windrinre:
I imagine that with the financial pinch going around a lot more people are going to learn to enjoy christmas in a different way than usual. I don't think it's a bad thing, either.
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, was singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came. Somehow or other, it came just the same.
I can afford it! because I cancelled it
I have so much to pay out over the next two months (some unexpected) that I refuse to get into debt so I told my family this year was no go! it's cool with them.
I don't like Christmas anyway............. BAH-HUM-BUG
Original Post by yellagirljay:
i like the way you put that pg.....
and well monarch, i find it interesting that even you stated you would like to send your boys a few times a year to volunteer but somehow i gather that like everyone else feeling the "holiday guilt" you only managed to send them for the christmas morning breakfast..... perhaps we have found the underlying issue with why this "mythological" sense of entitlement bothers you so.... is it perhaps because you realize that you indeed should be more charitable than you have been.... but instead of accepting that and doing better you displace your frustrations on others?????
Firstly, it isn't "mythological". Secondly EVERYONE should be more charitable...and thirdly please define the context of "holiday guilt" you think I am feeling. If you read the whole paragraph about the mission, we are going to volunteer twice a month. (all year long..not just at Christmas) And no, we are not rich suburbanites.
Original Post by andie-joe:
I don't like Christmas anyway............. BAH-HUM-BUG
No more kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!
Original Post by yellagirljay:
i like the way you put that pg.....
and well monarch, i find it interesting that even you stated you would like to send your boys a few times a year to volunteer but somehow i gather that like everyone else feeling the "holiday guilt" you only managed to send them for the christmas morning breakfast..... perhaps we have found the underlying issue with why this "mythological" sense of entitlement bothers you so.... is it perhaps because you realize that you indeed should be more charitable than you have been.... but instead of accepting that and doing better you displace your frustrations on others?????
Yella, I think maybe you are reading too much into this whole thread. Seems like monarch taking her sons to do some charity work is more than a LOT of people I know do for the holiday season. Personally, I applaud anyone who gives ANY of their time, regardless of their timing or reasoning behind it. Help is help.
Monarch, I guess for me it depends on the circumstances around which the parents came to the school and asked for help. I mean, if they walked in and said "yeah, I'm poor and I think it's your job to help me" then I might have a problem with it. Is this what they are doing, or are they just knocking on the door and saying "hey, I'm just curious if you are offering any help this year"?
Original Post by santonacci:
Original Post by windrinre:
I imagine that with the financial pinch going around a lot more people are going to learn to enjoy christmas in a different way than usual. I don't think it's a bad thing, either.
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, was singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came. Somehow or other, it came just the same.
if you start singing Fahoo Forays, i'm gonna cry.
i cancelled christmas at my house too andy joe..... well with the exception of my son.... i will still get him a few gifts to open on christmas.... but i have even gone as far to pick up another shift at the emergeny boys shelter my agency runs on christmas from 6a to 2p..... i worked on thanksgiving and helped prepare the meal for our boys and it was a very warm feeling to be able to share this with boys who have been displaced from their homes for a variable of reason but primarily abuse and neglect......
and i did read the entire paragraph Monarch.... and i did note that you planned to volunteer more than just on christmas but "a couple times a year," the "holiday guilt" i refer to is.... i am sure this isnt the first time you got the big idea to go and volunteer at your local charity organization.... in fact i would bet you thought about it last christmas/new years and made a similar plan and resolution..... but some how you just dont get around to it until the holiday's..... because, this is a christrian holiday and the christian thing to do is give.... so you and so many others fall into what i have deemed "holiday guilt" and volunteer and donate and make yet another resolution to do this all year round..... but by July, i'm sure have fell short of the resolution once again!
Original Post by yellagirljay:
i cancelled christmas at my house too andy joe..... well with the exception of my son.... i will still get him a few gifts to open on christmas.... but i have even gone as far to pick up another shift at the emergeny boys shelter my agency runs on christmas from 6a to 2p..... i worked on thanksgiving and helped prepare the meal for our boys and it was a very warm feeling to be able to share this with boys who have been displaced from their homes for a variable of reason but primarily abuse and neglect......
and i did read the entire paragraph Monarch.... and i did note that you planned to volunteer more than just on christmas but "a couple times a year," the "holiday guilt" i refer to is.... i am sure this isnt the first time you got the big idea to go and volunteer at your local charity organization.... in fact i would bet you thought about it last christmas/new years and made a similar plan and resolution..... but some how you just dont get around to it until the holiday's..... because, this is a christrian holiday and the christian thing to do is give.... so you and so many others fall into what i have deemed "holiday guilt" and volunteer and donate and make yet another resolution to do this all year round..... but by July, i'm sure have fell short of the resolution once again!
I like how you are mis-reading what I said (I said twice a month all year) and I also see you are negatively assuming what I might or might not do. That seems a bit judgemental. I guess I don't feel the need to brag about what I do for others....giving is a gift itself. That is what I want to teach my sons...they won't be sitting around the tree whining because they did not get the newest doo-dad like their friends may have...perhaps they will be happy with what they have.
And as far as the "Christian thing to do"...whatever. I am not a Christian per se. But religiousity is another topic.
Original Post by santonacci:
Original Post by windrinre:
I imagine that with the financial pinch going around a lot more people are going to learn to enjoy christmas in a different way than usual. I don't think it's a bad thing, either.
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, was singing without any presents at all. He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came. Somehow or other, it came just the same.
exactly
yes monarch i am being judgemental.... and i am assuming negativity..... but isnt that what you did and are doing by assuming these parents feel entitled to something by asking for some help?!?!? are you not negatively assuming that they are bad parents and don't truly need the help....
i think i have made my point.... so i will digress!
no you need not brag about your good deeds..... but neither do these parents need to show you personally financial statements as proof of their need.... but trust the charitable organization you referred them too, will check their financial needs before a dime or yours is spent!
*fibed.... will now digress!!!*
Original Post by pgeorgian:
if you start singing Fahoo Forays, i'm gonna cry.
LOL Fahoo Foray!
My feeling is..if you can help, help. If you cannot afford to help monitarily, help with your time, afterall, that is usually harder to give. I understand there are people who drive nice automobiles and live in nice homes who may be asking for help. I would think that people should help themselves first and when they have done all that they can, made sacrifices and such, then ask for help from others. I have a hard time sympathizing, however, for those who are unwilling to sell their 2008 cars for a 2002 car or who own many vehicles and then ask for help. Help yourself first and then I will be happy to do what I can.
if the automobile industry is needing a bailout, my guess is it aint that easy to sell your car these days....
Original Post by pgeorgian:
Original Post by yellagirljay:
kids don't understand that "money is tight, so you cant have the new spiderman action figure all your friends are getting....."
i think you're underestimating kids.
Kids really do understand...they really do...they just want us anyway...get some games and play all day...they will be happier then ever
Original Post by yellagirljay:
yes monarch i am being judgemental.... and i am assuming negativity..... but isnt that what you did and are doing by assuming these parents feel entitled to something by asking for some help?!?!? are you not negatively assuming that they are bad parents and don't truly need the help....
i think i have made my point.... so i will digress!
no you need not brag about your good deeds..... but neither do these parents need to show you personally financial statements as proof of their need.... but trust the charitable organization you referred them too, will check their financial needs before a dime or yours is spent!
*fibed.... will now digress!!!*
Actually, the charitable orginizations ask US to decide who needs help. I think it is a judgement call. A happy, well fed child wearing new designer clothes who's parents drive a hummer to school to drop them off might not be as seriously considered as a kid who has holes in their clothes, misses breakfast often, and their parents take the city bus.
That's what I mean, Monarch. We all know someone who needs help.
Original Post by yellagirljay:
if the automobile industry is needing a bailout, my guess is it aint that easy to sell your car these days....
Less people buying new cars means more people buying used cars, so selling your car is probably easier these days...
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