Are you really afraid to lose the weight?

Recently while reading a great thread on Overeating I came across this post

Original Post by dalmalama:

"it shocked me the day i realized i was afraid to lose weight. i'd been heavy for such a long time, and i would no longer have the stock excuse for all the bad things in my life. "i don't have the right job/boyfriend/social life because i'm fat, and people just don't accept me." i realized i'd have to face the truth about myself, my ACTUAL self, and make changes that would make my life the way i wanted it to be." 

It stirred up in me all kinds of frenzy.  I had my most successful weight loss to date only after realizing that I was deathly AFRAID of losing weight.  I realized that had locked myself in this prison of a body in some twisted attempt to protect myself.  

Is there anyone else out there who has been through this? Did you find success after coming to terms and confronting this fear?

Thanks Dalmalama for the inspiration!

You're not alone! I'm losing my "invisibility cloak" of being a fat girl, and I HATE being noticed. I like being able to weave through the mall, eat at a restaurant, walk through crowds without being given a second glance. I have no idea what to do with the second glances and they make me anxious. Also, yes, I won't be able to blame my singleness on my fatness. For some reason "I'm fat" seems easier to admit than "I'm plain and kind of scary". ;)

Oh, I'm definitely with you on this one. I've ALWAYS been fat, who am I gonna be when I'm not fat. I've come to realize I'm pretty darn plain and boring.

But that was last year, and now I'm a proud BBW as they call that. I'm a large girl, always will be, that's just the way I'm build. But I'm deliciously curvy now, instead of flabby fat. I'm trying to bloom now, starting to learn about fashion. I've never watched so many make-over shows in my LIFE! I'd love to shed a few more sizes (a 14 sounds kinda nice), but last week I was shopping in the regular sizes, wow, what a feeling! I actually bought a size 16/18... My first clothing item without W behind it (even my shoes have W on 'em :/ ) You'll learn to love it, eventually.

Noelle,

It's a scary thing letting that invisibility cloak drop.  It will be nice to have strangers help with door instead of letting it slam in my face. Or to be included in on discssions had by business associates that are sitting right beside me instead of talking around me.  I've definitley used my weight as a way to hide the real me.  You sound far from "plain" my dear!

Catharina,

My goal weight loss has me at a nice curvy size 16-18 I too like curves on me and on women in general.  And I look forward to the day when I can walk in a normal store and find something that I can wear as apposed to going to maybe one or two stores in a mall.  And you look marvelous darling keep up the great work!

are we related?! the invisibility thing was EXACTLY what i was afraid of losing. i, too, thought i was dull and absolutely uninteresting, and what would i have to offer once people started noticing me? i realized i have a lot to offer, and i'm beginning to put myself out there, well before i've reached my goal weight.

i also realized i wanted to be invisible b/c when no one could see me, they couldn't hurt me. but protecting myself from hurt also made me miss out on a lot of the really good stuff in life. i've decided life's too short, and i ain't that young anymore, so i'd better stop wasting the time i have.

I have been on both ends of the scale. 12 yrs ago I went from 228 to 145. I could not remember ever weighing 145 (I think thats my birth weight)lol

The compliments and the walmart parking lot head turns were amazing. People taking second looks really got me. I was abit angry because I was the same person with the same personality. I thought being thin would make me happy. I was wrong.

I struggled after I lost the weight because I was still very sad inside. I had the feeling of...now what? Slowly the weight crept back on. I am now almost back up to my original weight. Knowing now what I didn't know then will make all the difference in my weight loss. I have cleared my life of all the negative things that made me sad, and trying now to live everyday with gratitude. I have realized I am worth it. Happiness comes from with-in, not material things, not the love anyone gives you, but it is the love you give yourself. Thats one of the hardest lessons in life, is to learn how to love and respect yourself. No more cloaks, no more baggy clothes, no more being lost in a crowd.

Lets all shine together!!!

"Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels"

I've thought about this alot. When I was at my heaviest, I was pretty invisible, and there's some safety in that. Now 85+ pounds later there are alot of times I don't feel safe. There's alot of unwanted attention that you have to deal with. Just like Suezqblue said it really made me mad at first when I'd get attention from someone who I know wouldn't have spit in my general direction when I was fat. I've always been me, fat, thin or in between, and all the coments about Wow you look fantastic, you really look so much better!! etc. made me really feel bad about what I used to look like.(worse, I always felt bad about it.)  You have to prepare yourself for all the changes, including how the world responds to you.

On a somewhat similar train of thought:

I realized then I would say, "Travel puts a kink in my health/nutirition plan." I was really saying:

"Travel is my excuse for not following my health/nutrition plan."

 

Susie- Do you ever really get over it?  I'm kind of worried about being jaded.  Knowing that  someone would be paying attention to me because I looked like someone "normal"  it would get to me too.

Chic- you got it.  A good friend of mine who lost 245lbs (through diet & exercise) said that if you can find time to watch tv, or call a friend, or check your e-mail you can find time to take care of yourself. 

I  think my greatest fear is using my weight as an excuse.  That excuse that prevents me from really going out into the world to  "pursue my happiness". All I've known is the dissapointment.  All I've known is this level.  And being healthy (below 200lbs) that is this unknown territory.  All the things that come with that.  The things that I will have access to, the people I can communicate with. Finding happiness.  Those are things that believe it or not I realized were very scary prospects.