I did it again..

I feel just terrible today.  like most nights, i had what i consider a binge.  and it was of course after dinner.  in fact, i would have gone home to a kitchen free of binge food but instead, i actually went to the store and bought tortilla chips and pita chips!  of course, i had my evening glass of wine, so im sure that had in impact on my decision.  i dont know WHY or HOW i can think thats okay.  so i get home and continue to eat....please tell me how terrible or not so terrible this is..

i ate about 10 tortilla chips, 3-4 pita chips, a tbs of hummus, cup of strawberries, some blueberries, a few bites of a left over pizza slice, a little bit more red wine!

im so ashamed of myself.  i had a pretty healthy dinner of salad and then i just go and derail my whole day.  what i just cant understand is i did it to myself and actually went out of my way to get this food when i knew i didnt need it.  it makes me so sad because i just cant control myself.  i have no self control over my eating at nite.  does anyone else do this?  it just shows how out of control my eating at night is.  and this morning, im regretting it sooo bad!  of course i never think about it while its happening..but i feel gross, and bloated and miserable.  it doesnt help that yesterday wasnt an exercise day. 

can anyone help me..  and friday is supposed to be a good day..  :(

maybe you ate that because you arent eating enough and your body was craving that food. when i was extremely restrictive with food i used to crave random healthy foods..and my 'binges' would be apples, peanut butter, turkey sandwhiches, salads, etc..

today is a new day!

I know you're not happy about it, but this really doesn't sound like a terrible binge to me. I estimated that you ate:

Tortilla chips: 140 calories Pita chips: 60 calories Hummus: 25 calories Strawberries: 50 calories Blueberries: 40 calories Pizza: 50 calories Wine: 100 calories = 465 calories.

If you normally have a deficit of 500 calories, then you didn't even gain a single ounce, you just didn't lose any weight. And that's just for one day. if you ate well the rest of the week, you may be just fine. You can console yourself with the fact that most of it was healthy.

It sounds like the wine might be a trigger for you. Can you cut it out and see if that helps?

thank you for the support.  the problem is, this does happen more than just once a week.  probably more like 2-3 times a week, with more or less the same types of food.  one of the problems is that the amount of calories there makes up a large portion of my daily calories.  its almost like i think ive been so good all day, i can have this!  but its just not right.  and it makes me feel so bad about myself.  and of course eating late at night, before i go to bed cant be good.  

i have a feeling that i am starting to restrict a bit during the day and its causing my binge urge to get stronger in the evening.  why is that feeling so hard to ignore.  and mpati..im sure the wine is a trigger for me. 

i felt like was gaining weight too quickly and started to restrict some of my snacks during the day.  i cut out most of the dried fruit and really am limiting the amount of  nuts i eat.  im also really paying attention to the amount i eat for lunch.  i think this is causing me to restrict more and then of course, binge more.   its such a destructive cycle.  how can i get out of this! 

What did your salad for dinner contain? If it was just a leaf salad with veggies, that is not a complete meal. It is not skipping the meal, but for the few calories a veggie salad has, you may as well consider it as skipping. Salad for dinner is fine as long as you include some protein, fat, or carbs. Add some fish or canned tuna, nuts, chopped egg, beans, rice, barlet, etc. and it would be a complete meal and you probably won't be craving at night.

How many calories are you eating a day?

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to feel bad about yourself as a person for things you ate. This is not a moral issue, and you are not a bad person for binging. I really think you should just consider this part of your learning curve.

First, I would try cutting out the alcohol. I had to cut out cheese for the first few months of my lifestyle change, because it was a trigger food, and once I started, I would eat everything in sight. I was able to add it back once I had better control of my eating, and the same may be true for you.

Also, muttlover may be right: Are you eating enough during the day? Try beefing up what you're eating for breakfast and dinner and see how that impacts how hungry you are at night.

I totally know how you feel, I practically binge everynight!=( Last night for example I had: 2 poptarts, a piece of cake, a box of godiva chocolates, 1 banana with peanut butter, cottage cheese, turkey meat, 2 toaster strudels, 6 graham crackers, 3 cups of milk, and pudding!!! The problem I have is that I am still battling anorexia and this binging problem. Now, I restrict all day, binge at night and then...purge. I know it's awful but I am working on it. Hang in there you are not alone.:)

this is just a thought... if you are going home to eat dinner... why not make plans after dinner. take a shower, get fixed up and GO OUT,,,, keep yourself occupied away from the house... see a movie, a friends house, hell walk around the mall or target/walmart till you can go home and sleep or control your eating? i dunno, again just a thought

 

or maybe plan to eat and make yourself SIT DOWN and enjoy it... seems like so many people are binging today... so think about what you want, plan on eating it and plan on ENJOYING IT. the binging seems so spur of the moment and not thought out

again... these are just my thoughts i dunno much about the binging thing

 

oh one more thing... the restricting all day and binging at night... if you know your gonna do it why put yourself thru the agony of not eating all day... enjoy what youll want at night thru the day and remember it will always be there tomorrow to if you want more. and restricting all day and purging at night... very dangerous. your electrulytes are prolly so out of whack you could get a sudden heart attack or just randomly pass out so please be cafeful with your decisions

Hi - I agree with whoever said it doesn't sound like much of a binge!  but I understand why you want to change the habit.  I'm a night eater too, and have tried for years to stop.  What I now do is plan for my night time snack and incorporate it into my daily intake.  I eat my lovely little bowl of cereal every night right before bed, I sleep soundly knowing I gave myself a treat and I didn't go off my diet, and guess what?  I'm losing weight!  I just accepted that this is who I am and made it work for me.  And my bowl of cereal is my favorite meal of the day.  I know that the ideal is that we're not supposed to eat after dinner, but I finally figured out that that is just not how I work.  I also agree that the wine is not helping - it's extra calories and it lowers your ability to stay in control. 

Anyway, that's my experience! Hope it helps! 

Wow. I am sitting here doing exactly the same thing - I planned for 2 glasses of wine in my daily caloric intake, and now that the hubby's in bed I am sucking on some Baileys (witha hint of milk chocolate!) and dipping into the 1/3 less fat cream cheese. I am consoling myself with the knowledge that this is not a true binge in the greater scope of my history. But it is a binge, and even when the binge is relatively low in calories, call it what it is.

I know what it's like to hate yourself for a seemingly little slip. It is too hard to look at just today or this week or even this past month. There can be a lifetime of failure, and so it seems that one little slip is not so innocuous.

I guess the thing to do is keep plugging away. I put a lid on the cheese, and won't refill the Baileys. It helps me to know there are others out there struggling with the same type problems I am. I hope it helps you, a little, too. I like the suggestion of budgeting the binge calories in. If you know it's going to happen... However, when the object of the binge is self-destruction, it won't help to budget it in, will it?