Going against the grain

Hi, this is my first post.  I've read several threads, and thought I would share what has worked for me in the past and what is working for me now.  My biggest challenge is adapting a successful plan when my life situation changes --

Controlled Portions

This is a variation of the controlled portions concept that I used very successfully years ago.  It was a very simple plan

Use a smaller plate, fill it only once, and no in-between meal snacks.

I started in the summertime, and had a home garden with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.  I only purchased $10-$15 worth of groceries per week --- so you know how much we were eating fruits and vegetables.

I did a 30-minute aerobic dance routine at night, before going to bed. 

I lost steadily and lost about 70 lbs. But, my life situation changed dramatically, and I was unable to keep it up.  Gradually the weight came back over the years, and more was added.

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It doesn't work for me now -- meaning I can't follow it.  I tried it recently, and my it shot my nerves.  I don't know why -- my emotional make up now is different and it just doesn't work.

I peaked out at about 255.  Last summer I spent a couple of months with my son's family.  they have a toddler daughter, and I spent a great deal of time with her.  I noticed that the way I played with her was helping my back problems, and also I seemed to be losing a little bit of weight, although I was making no effort. 

Then I went back to Kansas to sell a house.  I started doing a simple step exercise.  I had a 5.5" step from my dining room to the living room, and I used some inspiring steppy music to step to -- just a single song, about 3.5-5 minutes.  I did my steps first thing each morning, and 1-2 times during the day, and last thing at night.  I didn't eat breakfast, refrained from eating each day until the hunger pangs became noticeable.  I didn't eat much meat, and ate foods that I could easily count the calories for.  I concentrated on not eating more than 300 calories at a time, but ate frequently during the day.

In the process of a few months, I dropped about 30 lbs.  I didn't have a scale, and so I didn't know how much weight I'd lost for a couple of months, but I knew I was losing.  Then, I was at my children's houses for about 2 months on extended visits, and was pleased to see that I maintained.  Back in Kansas, over the next few months I dropped about another 10.

I moved back to CA and my daughter and I went on a fat flush diet for 2 weeks, and then a fat flush fast for 3 days.  I lost another several lbs. - dropped to 206

I maintained that without much effort, mostly because of the playing with the grandkids -- especially the toddler, but in late september noticed that I was starting to gain again, and was doing a lot of nervous eating.

So, Oct 6 I weighed in (214) and started my current plan.  It's simple -- I don't forbid any foods, but I naturally avoid meat because, quite frankly, I feel much better if I eat very little meat.  I eat prepared foods for the most part because I am not going to weigh and measure foods. 

I chose 1700 calories per day, out of the blue, then looked up and discovered my RMR is 1574 at this weight, so I figured, that is good, I'm pretty sedentary, and am NOT going to start going to a gym, take up a sport, or anything else. 

1700 calories a day is my maximum calories allowed, but I reward myself a penny a calorie for every calorie under.  So, if I only eat 1500 calories, I earn a $2 reward.  That works better for my psychologically, to be "under" my allowance. don't ask me to explain why -- I don't know, it just does.

My "physical" activity is taking care of 3 kids, ages 7, 5 and 18 months.  The 18 month old I'm pretty much the nanny for, and I play quite a bit with him.  He's my "weight" program.  He runs to me, I lift him high, lower him, swing him, lift him back up.  It defies logic, but this activity has significantly decreased my chronic back pain.  Other activities, just standing at the swing pushing him, playing ball with him and the older 2.  oh, and he sits on my fit and I do leg lifts with him -- that is really helpful for the stomach.  Also, I like to lay on my back on the couch, with him laying on top of me, and I lift him up a couple of times to the point of outstretched arms.  he just loves it.

My point is, I'm bonding with my grandsons and getting in physical activity.

What do I eat?  Whatever I want, as long as it is within the 1700 per day. 

I know this is against the conventional wisdom, but frankly I don't care.  My food tastes ensure that I get at least some fruits and vegetables, and my calorie limit ensures that I avoid the really calorie-laden snacks and foods. 

For motivation, besides the reward, I made myself a chart -- I'm a visual person, and I enjoy seeing a visual representation of my success.  You can use a piece of graph paper, but I use Excel.

First column is the date, and I do a daily chart.  Second column is my weight.  I weight first thing in the morning before I dress.  Third column is my goal weight.  I set the goal to lose 2 lbs. per week, and so I divided that by 7 days to fill in the daily goal (it's just for the purpose of drawing that line down the chart.)

I filled in the values down to 175.  thus, the goal weights form a solid line from my starting weight down to 175.  Visually, I will want to remain under that solid line.

Of course, the second line fills in as I add the weight for each day.

How have I done?  I'm down slightly more than 6 lbs.  Every day I've been under my 1700 calories except 2 days -- one I went 85 calories over, and the other I had accumulated 1350 calories and then took the night off to enjoy pizza with the family--I consumed 3 pieces -- 2 vegetarian and 1 combo.  The left over pizza in the fridge that night and the next day were not at all tempting.

In mid November I am taking the week off because I have a friend coming in from out of state and we will be doing a lot together.  It will give my body a chance to stabilize and for me to just relax and enjoy the visit. 

I will stay on this plan as long as it is working.  Oh, I do plan to allow myself to go off for a day every now and then, probably 1 day a week. 

this is working emotionally because it gives me control -- I'm in a dependent living situation right now, and so have very little control over anything. 

why it's working physically, I don't know and could care less. 

Whenever I get more than 5 lbs. BELOW my target line, I'll let myself do a 3-day maintenance -- just eat what seems normal. 

If I was going to write a book on dieting, I'd recommend dividing the total weight loss into smaller amounts.  For example, if you have to lose 50, divide it up in 2 20s and a 10.  If you have to lose 75, divide it into 3 25s or 3 20s and a 15.  And schedule a maintenance period between each weight loss segment. 

I know some of you will say, but if I just let myself eat what I want to eat, I will binge.

That's not the way it works with me.  The "diet" gets me in control of my eating.  And it takes a while for me to lose control again.  For example, it took nearly 3 months for me to lose control this time -- and to start just shoving it in.

I hope some of this makes sense, and doesn't offend anyone.  Like I said, I'm not knocking what others do, just sharing what has and is working for me. 

Will it continue to work?  I don't know.  If it ceases to work, I'll develop another plan. 

What am I going to do with the reward money?  However much it happens to be, I'm certainly going to use it to buy something totally impractical and frivolous.

Oh, I might add, if you do this chart, you will notice that your body has a cycle -- and that alone will help you get over those unexplained drops and gains. 

Are you trying to write a book? =/

I just eat well, exercise, drink enough water, have fun - simple.

That's great:) I am glad you found something that works for you. Keep up the good work!

And welcome to CC:)

Thank you for sharing. Unconventional ways work too, just make sure your getting all the nutrition your body needs to get you to your goal healthfully. Its not like your reducing intake to a dangerous low, but make sure your getting your vitamins.  Its wonderful that you have not only bonded with your grandchildren, but they have motivated you to a heathier lifestyle.

Best to you, and welcome!

I'm sorry, but I missed how counting calories is going against the grain. Might someone enlighten me, please? Thanks.

Well, it seems you pretty much know how to lose weight, at least temporarily. That's a good skill to have, but it is not the end-all where long-term weight loss is concerned. The fact that you have been yo-yoing makes me think that you are perhaps a binge-eater, which makes me think you probably think in terms of black and white; in other words, it's all or nothing. You're either on the diet, or you're not. The fact that you take 'days off' or even 'a week off' makes me think this, as well. For long term weight loss and/or maintaining, this is dangerous thinking.

So, I would actually be interested in hearing how you gained weight. I think that is a valuable peice of the puzzle. Ignore Seraph and post the weight gain part of your story, if you don't mind!

You also mentioned feeling out of control with food, saying you binge when you're left to eat whatever you want. This is normal, since you are constantly swinging between deprivation and excess.

Now, I know you may not classify the diet you go on as deprivation, but your body does. Why? Because you binge. That's your body's way of saying 'um, excuse me, but we need calories here.' To a certain extent, your body is always going to 'say' that because your body doesn't want to lose weight. According to your body, weight loss is a somewhat traumatic event that must be avoided. This is why we stress only a 500 calorie defecit at this site; any more is too traumatic for your body, causing either rebound eating and binging or starvation mode to set in, which contrary to popular beleif, stalls weight loss instead of enhancing it.

If you are going to be counting calories, I would REALLY reccomend trying to eat what you consider to be 'normal' foods, but in quantities that fit your caloric budget. If you can do this, you won't have to go off of your plan for a day or even a week when a friend comes. Why? Because you'll be LIVING the plan. That is key. This is a lifestyle change, as many members of this site will tell you. If you can't figure your plan into your daily life as you would like to live it, you are somewhat destined to fall back into old patterns of self sabotauge. You don't have to save up 1350 calories for a pizza dinner! You could do it for at least 500 calories. That way, pizza is no longer a forbidden food you can only have when you aren't in 'diet mode.'

Speaking of 'diet mode,' it is a comforting state of mind to be in, because it helps you feel in control. You have things measured out. You have charts and graphs. Things are accounted for. There's comfort in that just about as much as there is comfort in binging, or in food itself! it helps us feel as if our life is measurable. Our bodies, our self image, our metaboisms and over all our weight loss are not as tangible as we'd like them to be; we can measure as much as we want but there will be discrepancies, and it really helps to be okay with that.

A great way of 'relaxing' out of diet mode and into lifestyle mode is to give yourself a range of calories, i.e. you can eat between 1400-1800 calories. What this does is it allows for life to happen and for you to not be kicking yourself over it. It gives you a 'grey area' to work with so the black and white thinking doesn't ruin your attempts.

In Chinese Medicine, they say the hinges of a used door don't rust. This means that the more you use a bodypart, the more 'oiled' it will be in a sense, and the less prone to injury. This could explain your back~*

I'd love to hear about the weight gain part, it could help us understand more about you! Check out the 'tools' section of this sight, too. And on your 'My Account', there is a weight graph that uploads automatically when you enter your daily weight, so it might save you some time and energy with the excel spreadsheet~

Welcome to the site, and Good luck!~

welcome to CC!
I think I may go make myself a graph paper chart to post by my desk at home...not quite as intricate as your tracking system.. but it will remind me to not snack while doing homework.. plus Im a math geek, and I like drawing graphs :P

Good luck on your plan. I like the penny-a-calorie idea, but i think Id go under minimum calories if I bribed myself (Im finding it hard to get healthy and not slip into anorexic behaviors, anyone else?)

Hope you reach your goals and stay there :D

Yes do it, Shakti would LOVE to know.

I didn't say I have been yo-yoing -- quite the contrare.

I don't go for fad diets, and I don't go on any diet plan unless I'm committed to sticking with it.  I preferred over the years to being overweight than to yo-yoing.  Increases over 25 years is not yo-yoing.  there are times in those 25 years that my circumstances naturally removed some pounds, but the normal was for gradual increases.  It's a cycle -- as you get heavier, you do less, and you gain more weight, and you do less.  In addition, I had chronic back pain -- once the inactivity started, renewed activity increased the pain, so I did less, and so on and so forth. 

Lots of life intervenes in 25 years to put the extra pounds on -- and many of those years, my weight and my looks paled in comparison to just staying alive -- but that's another story, and one not for sharing.

My first successful plan started to fail simply because my life situation changed beyond my control and I was not wise enough then to realize that other methods would work, too, I just had to find one that worked with my new life style

When I decided it was time to try again to diet, I did so because I saw some effortless, natural things workingv-- in other words, my life situation had me in a situation which was favorable to weight loss, and so I decided to add some intentional dieting to make the most of it.  I tried the previous successful plan, but it didn't work.  I don't know why it didn't work, and frankly I don't care.  Just a couple of weeks of trying and failing was enough to say, this doesn't work this time.  So, I tried a couple of different things -- each worked in its brief period, then became a nuisance rather than an assistance.  Then I did the fat flush and fat fast with my daughter, and just went into maintenance mode.  It lasted for nearly 3 months, but then my volume of food started increasing, as well as what I was eating was changing, so I decided the time was right to devise another plan.

I'm very fortunate.  The first one I chose is working. 

How long will it work?  I don't care.  When it stops working, I'll devise another plan. 

No, I am not planning to write a book.

I am 58 years old, and can tell from my body signs if I am getting enough nutrients to feed my body.  When your energy and flexibility increase, regularity improves, skin tone improves, sleep habits improve -- without the use of any supplements -- it's obviously all coming from diet and exercise.  I don't argue with success. 

BTW, as most of you know, a toddler increases in size and weight.  So, the amount of weight I am "lifting" will naturally increase over time.  I call him my "personal trainer."

I want to add one more thing I've learned from experience.  Many factors account for our weight, including changes in the volume of water we have in our cells, what's sitting in our digestive system, and what's in our intestines waiting to be eliminated.  So the natural process is to have fluctuations in weight.  It's life. 

But when you chart your weight or otherwise track it, you see the downward motion, and you can see what date you last weighed that amount, etc.

I would not describe myself as a binge eater -- I am a high volume eater.  That is what I have to correct -- the volume of food I eat.

I don't subscribe to the "you can eat all you want of the right foods" because then when you make poor food choices, you gain the weight.  If I train myself to eat less food -- and it can be done successfully -- then if I do eat "wrong food" I don't pay nearly as high a price for it. 

I didn't say counting calories was against conventional wisdom.  I said some of the things that work for me are --  example, not eating breakfast but putting off eating for as long as I can each day; not worrying about what I eat, just about how much and how many calories.  I don't count proteins, fat, carbos or any thing else -- I only count calories.  I don't care if it's 100 calories from baked chicken or chocolate pudding, it's 100 calories.  But, as I said above, if I wasn't getting a good diet, I would not be seeing so much improvement in every area of health, not just in weight loss.  Don't argue with success. 

I'm no dummie -- and I object to the suggestion that I don't understand that maintenance is a vital part of a weight loss program.  Did I not say that my plan included maintenance/stabilize periods?  

Who suggested you didn't know that?

And you posted as if you were seeking advice (that's what most people do when they post here), so forgive me if I misunderstood. It seemed as if you were presenting what has worked for you and what hasn't, and it seemed as if you didn't necessarily have it all figured out, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You said:

"It doesn't work for me now -- meaning I can't follow it.  I tried it recently, and my it shot my nerves.  I don't know why -- my emotional make up now is different and it just doesn't work."

If it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work for you...I simply made some suggestions about how you might revise it so that it might work. I've dealt with a lot of people with disordered eating and I've seen a lot of patterns, so I basically relayed what has worked for the people I've seen with your issues.

But, you have it all figured out, so nevermind. Good luck in your pursuits, and sorry to offend you.

Yes, shakti, I do have it all figured out -- FOR MYSELF, WHAT WORKS FOR ME, and I wasn't here asking for advice -- I had a plan worked out and it was working.  I simply shared the lesson I've learned that what works so well at one time simply doesn't work at a different time, and that I didn't care two-hoots why.

I get up around 7 in the morning, and I feel so much better if I don't eat until past noon, ideally not until about  2 p.m.

I don't know why, I just know that is a fact.  And all the 'you must eat breakfast' bible thumpers in the world are not going to convince me to ignore obvious feelings of well-being just to accept their supposed wisdom.

A lot of simple things work well for me at different times, so when I sense something has stopped working, I go on to the next thing.

No, I'm not offended.  But I'm not going to belong to a BB where I do not feel comfortable sharing my experiences.  Some people just don't fit in with some groups.  that's just the way it is.  I don't fit in with this group. 

But I am glad I checked in again tonite, because otherwise I would not have seen Brian's thread.  Thanks again, Brian.

Have a good one and thanks for stopping by

There are way too many overdramatic people in this world.

"Boohoo you hurt my feelings... I'm leaving"

who hurt who's feelings?

I mean, I look on the threads and I see this 'Going against the Grain' and it's long and rambling as hell and I think 'no one is going to spend any time reading this much less answering it' so I decide to really read it and really try and help.

Whatever.

Go Ali !!

That's my point, Shakti. No one offended this woman yet she's leaving the boards? For what? Melodrame!

Yeah, she seems a little crotchety~ hehe

manewell: I don't think anyone's knocking your plan of attack against the weight, for the most part. I think it was just in the way you presented it to everyone. I, for one, was wide-eyed when I scrolled down and saw how long the post was...took me quite a long time to read through it. You included a lot of information about what has happened in the past that I find it hard to remember what it is you're doing now to control your weight (are you maintaining right now or trying to lose?).

**steps on the soapbox**

I sometimes forget that when I post on boards, my tone, nuances, and meanings behind my words can sometimes be misunderstood by the reader, that's why I try to be careful when and what I post, especially when it's to someone in particular.

**steps down**

Have a great day everyone!

Just to reiterate: "It doesn't work for me now -- meaning I can't follow it.  I tried it recently, and my it shot my nerves.  I don't know why -- my emotional make up now is different and it just doesn't work. "

That was the premise of the post...that is why we assumed you wanted advice.

The end. (I promise, guys).