Do you agree with this statement?
A friend of mine, who is getting married for the third time, said to me, "All marriages end in divorce......eventually. Do you agree with this statement and why or why not?
It seems to me that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. He thinks a marriage will end, so it does. It's not a very encouraging way to go into a marriage.
And due to ill health, old age and accidents. What an idiotic statement.
Original Post by jewelsmcblah:
No. Because it's not true. Many marriages end in death.
Ditto.
My coworker just got married and she told me about some good advice she got from her new mother-in-law, she said: "There were bad times, lost of bad times, consecutive years of bad times.. but if you can make it through those bad times you will see good times that you didn't even know were possible." That friend will probably never experience those good times :)
My grandparents have been married, IIRC, 50 years. Somehow I doubt they're going to get divorced before they die. Your friend's statement is EXTREMELY ignorant.
I truly believe that in today's society, everyone has a "first marriage." So many people seem not to take marriage seriously, rush into it, or have the attitude of, "if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce," everyone has a first marriage.
I was married when I was 19, divorced when I was 21. He was my high school sweetheart and ended up being an addict, so I left for safety & sanity reasons. I did take it seriouisly and though it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway because we were so young when we got married, I would've stayed with him if he could've gotten and stayed in recovery. I have never been married since.
Now, that's not to say that I haven't had long-term relationships, I have. I have also come to believe that the institution of legalized marriage sanctioned by someone's god and government (wait, isn't there supposed to be some kind of "separation" of church & state?) is an extremely antiquated idea. That's not to say that I don't think it can't work for some people. If you want to get married, and are happy after you get married, and stay happy while married to that one person the rest of your life ... more power to ya! But, it's not for me and the more I see how relationships change AFTER the wedding, the more I feel assured that I'm right.
I've been happy in a good relationship with the same man for almost 6 years (anniversary in Sept.!) and I consider myself lucky to have found someone with whom I share the same ideology on this subject. Neither of us feels the need to get married - we're happy the way we are. Neither of us wants children, which is really the only reason I think people should get married (and stay married) and we both agree that we are happy with each other and don't want to be with anyone else. Our view - if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
I agree with your opinion of your friend's statement - he probably will get divorced ... again ... and again ... and again. It seems he does not take marriage seriously and probably should just live as a single person, living with people when he feels the need to have that "solidified" feeling of commitment ... it'd probably save him a lot of money in the end!
Original Post by misskady:
A friend of mine, who is getting married for the third time, said to me, "All marriages end in divorce......eventually. Do you agree with this statement and why or why not?
It seems to me that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. He thinks a marriage will end, so it does. It's not a very encouraging way to go into a marriage.
Yea, NO. This is the kind of person I would never take seriously in a relationship. Too bad for them and theirs.
Original Post by misskady:
A friend of mine, who is getting married for the third time, said to me, "All marriages end in divorce......eventually. Do you agree with this statement and why or why not?
I absolutely disagree with the statement. My wonderful DH and I took an oath before God to stay married as long as we both shall live -- and we intend to keep our promises.
MOLLY
Original Post by jewelsmcblah:
No. Because it's not true. Many marriages end in death.
oh jewels ha ha haha
I can't imagine having that mentality. I just hope his soon to be exwife knows it before she marries him. Divorce is the biggest factor in why so many of our kids are spoiled rotten, do not do their homework, or care about school (the teacher in me). It becomes a "favorite parent" issue and we, as teachers, are the only people reprimanding kids. sorry for the tangent....but, no, i do not agree with the statement.
Original Post by misskady:
A friend of mine, who is getting married for the third time, said to me, "All marriages end in divorce......eventually. Do you agree with this statement and why or why not?
It seems to me that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. He thinks a marriage will end, so it does. It's not a very encouraging way to go into a marriage.
I don't agree because it is factually untrue. And I agree with your assessment of this being a sulf-fulfilling prophecy.
Original Post by ladyfirelyght:
My grandparents have been married, IIRC, 50 years. Somehow I doubt they're going to get divorced before they die. Your friend's statement is EXTREMELY ignorant.
Indeed. My great aunt and uncle had their 70th wedding anniversary shortly before my aunt passed away at the age of 92. They were the benchmarks for a strong marriage. Her body got ravaged by polio at a young age, but he was there for her until the very end, modified their house to accomodate her disability, he even carried her around when they were younger and he had the strength. And to top it all off, they were the happiest people in my entire family, particularly my aunt who had every right to be bitter after her body betrayed her for so long.
Im marriage phobic, despite parents who were happily married and for very until my dad died at 66 but Im not cynical like that - I know some work, some dont. I just hate the idea of a contractual commitment that involves govt to remove myself from with something as personal as a relationship yet Im not close to being that cynical.
I have to think he was being flippant because why would someone knowing set themselves up for what they felt was a certain eventual divorce unless he caved to hardcore pressure to marry her and this reassures him he has a way out.
there's this saying "never say never" the same goes for saying "all is not really all". some work because they make it work and some doesn't because they chose not to make it work. i always tell my friends, "just because you are doing it (whatever "it" is), doesn't mean EVERYBODY is doing it". my parents are still married (though, i don't think they are happy), they make it work... i guess...
Original Post by tattooed_kitty:
I truly believe that in today's society, everyone has a "first marriage." So many people seem not to take marriage seriously, rush into it, or have the attitude of, "if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce," everyone has a first marriage.
Sure. Everyone (who gets married) has a first marriage. Some of us will stay in that first marriage for life.
My parents are still together. My husbands parents are still together. To us, divorce is not an option. We weren't raised with it and our children won't be either.
Going into a marriage with the feeling that it's doomed to fail at some point is ridiculous. Save your money and just date.
Original Post by juliemae2:
Original Post by tattooed_kitty:
I truly believe that in today's society, everyone has a "first marriage." So many people seem not to take marriage seriously, rush into it, or have the attitude of, "if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce," everyone has a first marriage.
Sure. Everyone (who gets married) has a first marriage. Some of us will stay in that first marriage for life.
My parents are still together. My husbands parents are still together. To us, divorce is not an option. We weren't raised with it and our children won't be either.
Going into a marriage with the feeling that it's doomed to fail at some point is ridiculous. Save your money and just date.
lol, seriously...
My parents are happily celebrating their 45th anniversary today and I am here with them to celebrate their amazing relationship!!! LOVE is a VERB not a NOUN-cliche as it sounds....
Original Post by healthybmi:
My parents are happily celebrating their 45th anniversary today and I am here with them to celebrate their amazing relationship!!!
Happy anniversary to your parents! That's awesome. :)
To the OP, as has been previously stated, your friend's comment is not only factually erroneous, but figuratively also.
Original Post by p0nda:
Original Post by healthybmi:
My parents are happily celebrating their 45th anniversary today and I am here with them to celebrate their amazing relationship!!!
Happy anniversary to your parents! That's awesome. :)
To the OP, as has been previously stated, your friend's comment is not only factually erroneous, but figuratively also.
Thanks, p0nda. They are a riot! I only hope everyone finds love like that. Once in a lifetime! They truly are each other's Lobster.....
"All marriages end in divorce......eventually.
That's pretty sad. It completely goes against what 'marriage' should represent - lifelong commitment!
The older I get, the more I learn from others that marriage is NOT easy. Its not all fun and games, and it takes commitment and 'work.' If you're lucky, you experience lots of good times, and lots of bad times but you stick through it together. I'm not married but I hope I will be some day.
I can't imagine why this friend of yours is giving it a 3rd go. I wonder if his current future ex wife knows of his attitude toward marriage!
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