Am I getting ahead of myself?

Please bare with me as I'm a bit of a rambler.

Basically since I was in high school (8 years ago) I began having issues with my weight and my diet. I was always a skinny kid (just wish I'd seen this back then!!) but I began to suffer from anorexia and this continued for nearly 4 years. Since then I have gone through countless bingeing, addiction to laxatives and even bulimia. I've gone through bouts of healthy eating and exercise regimes but all have failed. I've now got to the stage where I hate leaving the house and I've misplaced my social life and have no hope of finding it anytime soon.

I started to p90x last week and have been following it perfectly, also running/power walking 3-4 times a week. 

I'm a vegan and my diet has been including lots of fresh fruit and veggies, soya milk/yoghurts, multivitamins. I've been really pushing myself to eat at least 1200kcal a day but I know that's not enough for my build, the amount of exercise I'm doing etc...

It's just really hard to top up on calories with healthy veg/fruit as there's so little so I feel I'm constantly eating just to hit my target.

Having done the p90x for a week and a half now, I've lost a pound (which is probably water weight) and my measurements are actually going up! I seem to have added 2inches around my chest! I know I shouldn't have measured myself yet but this has happened before and it really demotivates me. When I read on here of people who have lost inches in the first few weeks because of exercise, I just want to give up, AGAIN!

Okay, my questions are:

-Taking into account, the fact that my metabolism is probably pretty low because of the starvation I've put my body through over the years, how many calories should I be looking at having a day without putting on weight, just to support my exercise?

And also, how can I top up on these calories with healthy foods?

Plus, is it normal to have inches added to my body when I've been exercising? I feel it contradicts the whole point of me toning up and losing a few pounds.

Any help is appreciated, I hope I've placed this in the right forum, and for those of you that have read my whole essay, thank you! 

Hey tofu,

In order to evaluate how many calories you should be eating  we need to know your stats (gender, age, height, weight). I'm actually on my 5th week of P90X and believe me you are definatly not eating enough. On average P90X is supposed to burn around 600 cals per workout, which means you could be eating enough calories to equal your RMR and still lose a pound or more a week. In regards to P90X don't get discouraged I was at a stand still for a few weeks of P90X i am just now really starting to see weight loss. This is because in the beginning of P90X you will really build a lot of muscle so the muscle gain will offset your weight loss, so even though you may be staying at the same weight and even gain weight you are definatly still loseing fat. Don't be discouraged by a gain in inches that too is most likely becaue of the muscle gain. Doing P90X 6 days a week there is no way you will not lose the weight you want to, it's just up to you to stick with it and keep watching your calories.

BTW it's definatly normal to gain an inch or so when doing an exercise like P90X.

good luck and keep it up... a day spent dwelling is another day spent not meeting your true potential.

"Please bare with me" 

OK, I'm naked.  Now what?

Sorry, couldn't help myself. 

1200 calories really isn't enough for you, especially if you are doing some intense workouts.  Try eating nuts, avocados, and other calorie dense foods to get your calories up.  I'm not vegetarian, so I'm not a lot of help in that department

Your muscles are probably just a bit swollen as they heal from the new routine.  Try again in a month.

And don't worry too much about results - you should be feeling really good about doing your workout, and having more energy.

I've always found measuring to be arbitrary mostly because I might pull the tape tighter or loser at any given time.  I think I'd be happy about having a bit more in the chest :)

Nuts, olive oil, avocado, legumes all good ways to add some calories.  How about some whole wheat pasta too?  

I'm not really much help -- what really caught my eye about your post was your name.  I like it!  Post up your stats as well, and work on your profile.  There are lots of tools you can use on the site as well.  

Hi there,

A good way to add healthy calories is with whole grains.  You mention eating a lot of fruits and veggies, but no grains.  Don't be afraid of them!  If you get the whole version, they are a complex carbohydrate just like the fruits and veggies.  Aside from the obvious ones, (brown rice, whole wheat bread, etc) there are a whole slew of other healthy grains out there.  One superfood example is quinoa, which they carry at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (not sure about some of the more traditional grocery stores).  It has all the essential amino acids and is super good for you, as well as packing in some healthy calories.  I also agree with puh8suwrux about avocados and nuts.  I don't know if that helps or fits in with your current diet, but good luck to you!

Hi there,

You've received some really good advice already but I thought I would reiterate what others have already pointed out, and that is that you are not eating nearly enough for what you are asking from your body.

I would like to ask you something in regards to your diet but please know that I do so with the utmost respect, ok? Did you become a vegan because of your ED? Please know that I am not questioning your decision, it's just that I have read that persons with eating disorders may be more inclined to become vegetarian or vegan as a ways of hiding (for a lack of a better word) their ED.

And to answer your questions, we really need to know your stats (age, height, current weight) in order to be able to recommend a calorie target...

Your muscles are likely retaining water which is why you see a gain in your measurements but not in your weight...

Hi everyone, thanks so much for the support. This is exactly what I've wanted to hear and has really pushed me to stick to my goals. For people asking, I'm 23 years old, weight 154, about 5"-5"10. I know I don't have more than a couple of pounds to lose and it's mostly about toning up so I know that my stats probably seem normal.

I bought a diary yesterday and plan on keeping track of my eating so as I get enough each day to work alongside my exercise.

To answer your question V_avila;

I didn't purposely become Vegan because of my EDs, it was more because of my morals and ethics. I understand what you mean though, I can see that physcologically (sp?!?) I was definitely more prone to becoming one. Maybe it's something I should read up on :)

Thanks. 

Hey tofu_monkey we have almost the same stats (23 years old, 5'10", weigh 155) and I know how you feel! Don't worry about inches and lbs gained in the first week or so of exercise. It is water retention due to your muscle swelling. Also, 1200 is way too low! I have tried to eat 1200 in the past but just end up binging because I'm basically starving. Try to eat at least 1500. That is still low but enough to keep me satisfied. We are tall and need more energy than the shorter girls. Hang in there!