*ahem* My phlebotomy rant.

Since thread hijacking is frowned upon.

I wanted to take a minute to clarify a few things about my little phlebotomy rant.

First of all, I was speaking strictly inpatient.  I'm poking patients several times a day, every day of the week.  After a while your veins just give out.  I know there are places where it's best to get your blood from, and hell, if you're having blood drawn on a regular basis then you know, too.  But if those veins are poked to death, there's really no way we can continue poking them while you're in the hospital to get blood.  I've got to look elsewhere.  To tell me I can't get you anywhere but that long gone vein and not giving me a chance to try, or even look for anything else, upsets me as much as having to have blood drawn upsets you.  I'm trying to do my part, as painlessly as possible, to help you get well, and it upsets your nurse and your doctor if I can't obtain your labs.  If there's someone else available to try, I'll page them from your bedside, but often we're busy in inpatient.  I'm all you've got.

There's a few other things that were probably taken the wrong way, too but I mostly wanted to clarify this.  I do listen to my patients.  Hell, I get praised regularly for my patient satisfaction rate because I go the extra mile for my patients.  I'm there to do what I can to care for the patients, not to goof around and collect a paycheck. 

Like the rest of you, who are all great at what you do, there are still those few little things that annoy you and you're entitled to rant about it.   So am I.  No matter what the job is, you'll never really understand what someone is ranting about until you've tried working it yourself.

Honestly I thought waitresses were little nitpickers whenever they ranted about things until I worked as a waitress.  Now I understand a lot of what people complain about.

I'd love to have you as my phlebotomist any day. Your rant makes much more sense now.

I went to your thread hijacking rant and you will be happy to know that I agree with you 100%. There are certain jobs where practice makes perfect - phebotomy is one of them. Sure I know that more often than not the vein in my left arm yeilds blood more effectively and rapidly than the one in my right - and I will mention that to anyone who happens to be sucking blood from me - but if the phlebotomist in question felt that my right arm was being more cooperative that day then by all means, stick me in my right. I trust your judgement over my own in an immediate sense because you're feeling my veins at the time and your experience makes you know what feels right.

I feel sorry for you that you have to deal with organisms that talk back - when I was doing it on cats you could just feel which was the best one and stick it accordingly (I got it wrong less than a handful of times in my storied career as a vet assistant). However, you probably don't have to deal with being bitten if you make a mistake, so I guess there is a tradeoff there somewhere..

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

 LOL!  I shouldn't be laughing, but that was hilarious.  people purposely throw up on you just cuz you pizz them off that badly?

Poor CD.

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

Truer words never spoken. Last night I dared to trim Moon's front claws. I had to wrap a blanket around her back feet because she was kicking at me so much. She doesn't like to have her weapons trimmed.

If someone woke you up at 2 AM, and I'm perky at night because that's when I'm awake and energetic,  to draw labs wouldn't you want to throw up on them, too?

I remember when my cats had fleas really bad, we'd gotten them out of the apartment and tried to give them a flea dip, on my twentieth birthday at that, and Whiskey dug her claws into my hand so far she pulled the vein partially out.  I pushed it back in, stuck a bandaid on it, and let Alex deal with her.

I have veins that would attract a vampire from a distance, so anyone doing a blood draw is generally very happy.  I'm right handed (and use my right all day long so I bruise when that vein is used) so I request that they use my left arm when doing blood draws or donating blood.  Given the size of my veins I'm always a bit antsy when someone says my left arm is too small.

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

ROFLMAO. Sorry but LOL. In fact I LOLed irl, while reading this thread on the bus on my iphone. I garnered many confused looks.

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

And this is why I would never give you a hard time even without doing your job. Because you couldn't pay me enough to deal with that kind of ****.

I'd take the pissed off cat any day. You wouldn't even have to pay me for it.

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

If someone woke you up at 2 AM, and I'm perky at night because that's when I'm awake and energetic,  to draw labs wouldn't you want to throw up on them, too?

 I vow to never throw up on you or any other phlebotomist....cross my heart.

You're so sweet, peaches0405.

Original Post by tincognito:

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

And this is why I would never give you a hard time even without doing your job. Because you couldn't pay me enough to deal with that kind of ****.

I'd take the pissed off cat any day. You wouldn't even have to pay me for it.

 Have you ever really had to deal with a pissed off cat?

Holy crap, and I thought I had it bad because I have to listen to people whine all day. At least no one is barfing on me or throwing excrement.

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by tincognito:

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

P0nda, I've been bitten, kicked, smacked, spat upon, whipped with an IV and punched with neuro mits.  I've had patients threaten to throw **** at me, try to pee on me, and one very memorable old lady throw up on my shoe because she couldn't reach her dentures to bite me.

I've got to hand it to you, though.  I'd rather deal with some of the craziest patients ever than deal with a pissed off cat.

And this is why I would never give you a hard time even without doing your job. Because you couldn't pay me enough to deal with that kind of ****.

I'd take the pissed off cat any day. You wouldn't even have to pay me for it.

 Have you ever really had to deal with a pissed off cat?

I work at a kennel. Yes. I've been clawed to hell and back so painfully it's made me cry. (I love kitties though soooo much. I usually know they're just upset and I feel bad they feel the need to claw me because I'm clearly stressing them out and they'd rather I just go away.)

But I hate vomit more than anything in the world. There is nothing I wouldn't do to avoid it.

And this is why I'm terrified of having children.

Let me tell you baby vomit is far worse than dirty diapers. I think it smells worse and it is definitely messier, because it gets all over the place.

No use being afraid of having children because of the vomit. There are far worse things in regards to children than vomit.

Original Post by moonikins:

Let me tell you baby vomit is far worse than dirty diapers. I think it smells worse and it is definitely messier, because it gets all over the place.

No use being afraid of having children because of the vomit. There are far worse things in regards to children than vomit.

I guess it may cure my vomit fear anyway.... But leave me with some other ones....? O_o

I try to be nice to my phlebotomists because I usually pass out when I get blood drawn. I'm not afraid of needles or anything, I think it's a combination of blood pressure/blood sugar nonsense, so I just warn them ahead of time and then lie back and wait for the fun to start! Plus if I'm nice they give me juice or candy. Or stickers (if I'm good)!

Once I made it all the way back to the front counter to check out before I passed out, splitting my chin open on the counter, in front of the whole waiting room.

And I was in a skirt.

Haha as soon as I saw "plebotomy rant" I knew it had to be from CD. I always feel bad for the people who have to hunt around for my tiny veins, so  I  always warn them. Sometimes I have to get blood taken from the back of my hand with a baby needle.  Sometimes I've had people try from my left arm, then my right arm, then my left arm again. I don't mind at all though :] The last guy who took my blood got it in ONE TRY so I told him he was the best blood taker ever.

there used to be a lady at the red cross who could get blood from my left arm

she's the only one who ever has, so i think she's the best phlebotomist ever

sorry, your patients are so difficult CD

i'm very grateful that my encounters with hospitals have been brief in duration and not frequent

*knocks on wood, genuflects, and rubs rabbit foot key chain*