akward silences are the worst!!

hello !

just wanted to rant about how akward silences can really suck. i've been in situations where i'm alone with someone else and it gets really quiet and akward. not comfortable at all.THere i am, racking my brains to think of something to say ,without appearing that i'm trying too hard. However,that usually happens with unfamiliar people. unfortunately,things have been pretty akward this year with one of my closer friends. i regard her as close friend because i can trust her with secrets and talk about u know,relationships etc etc but other than that, our normal day-to-day conversations aren't that smooth flowing.BEfore this, we used to hang out in a big group and we never ran out of things to say. Now that its mostly just me and her, everything i say seems boring, she doesn't seem interested and then i feel too lazy and tired to even bother to try and talk about other things.

i don't think of myself as  a particularly interesting person.When i converse with someone, i depend a lot on the other person. i can kinda read their mood, if they're cheerful and energetic, it's easy for me to carry out a conversation but if they're listless and bored, i clam up and can't think of anything fun. I do better in goup conversations where the more talkative ones bring up topics of discussion. Only then will the ideas flow naturally.

i need help on thinking of things to say. i relax but the ideas never come when i'm with her. If anyone has been in similiar situations,go right ahead and post =)

.

*cricket*

LOL.

*shifts uncomfortably*

Cold enough for you?

Looks down at shoes...shifting body back and forth

ahem

i prefer a comfortable silence to talking for the sake of HANDS DOWN.

whoever can tolerate the silence longest WINS you know. the silence filler does not have the upper hand.

I prefer it when people are silent.  Then they dont say anything stupid.

I know exactly what you mean. If I can actually think of something to say and they don't respond, I'll usually just keep rambling like an idiot. I think it can be kind of rude when you're obviously trying very hard to get a conversation going and the other person isn't contributing. Although this may not be so in your case. Maybe she is trying too.

I usually go to all the stereotypical stuff, like the weather or a sports game. Yeah.. most of the time that doesn't really work though. Or I'll try some celebrity gossip since I am always up on that. Try asking questions about things they are interested in. Hopefully that will influence them to talk more.

Actually, this is an art that should be learned in more social circles. A great trick to know is, people love talking about themselves. If you know what their interests are, it's pretty easy to ask open ended questions about it, but the trick is to keep current and remember details.

For example, if she's really into (fill in the blank TV show) ask for an update, say you missed the last episode and you're dying to know what happened, etc. This can work for almost any subject, not just TV shows. If she's into jogging, ask her for advice on what kind of running shoe is best and why. If she likes comic books, ask if she's excited about the upcoming movie, etc. The list goes on.

Why do people feel like they have to talk all of the time?

Why make up stuff to say?

I don't feel like all akward silences need to be filled. It happens once in a while, and I think it's better to just accept it and think of something meaningful to say rather than a "quick fix" comment that doesn't mean much. I value the quality, not the quantity, of talking that goes on during a conversation.

I think an "akward" silence is a sign to bring up a new topic. Ask how she is doing, how a mutual friend of yours is doing, how her family is, how her significant other is if she has one, how her classes/sports/hobbies are, etc. And yes, people love to talk about themselves. So, for example, if you are talking about a relationship or friendship, ask her for advice or what experience she has had in the past. People love to tell stories about that kind of thing, too.

In the age of ipods people actually talk to each other?!  I'm shocked!  Seriously though(and I don't mean to be a jerk),it sounds like your friend ,through her silence, is telling you something.  Maybe you need to move on and find a new friend. 

.> .>

<. <.

awkward

sorry, it was killing me!  

*looks around*

*tries to let out a quiet discreet fart*

rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp!

*runs out of the thread*