all about commitment

I think weight lose is all about commitment. my problom I have a hard time committing to it. I don't know why I really what it. I makes me so mad that I just don't put my foot down. How do you guys commit? When I quit smoking the commitment was so easy. I told my kids I would not smoke ever again and that was it. So why can't I? any advice?

I had the same problem. People would say "if you want it bad enough, you will stop eating unhealhty foods and get off your butt!"

Those people are in fact giving good advice, but like everything, words are much easier than actions. I finally realized that I was tired of being the way I was. (am) I am on my way towards becoming healthier now, and I have never been happier. It takes patience, as many times you fail, you have to learn to pick yourself back up and not quit.

Also, you have CC! This site and the people here are amazing. Everyone is here for you, so feel free to vent/ask questions.

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin"

i agree... it's definately about committment... i say i'm committed, i'm serious, i reallly really want this... then i go to a party, go out to eat, say oh it won't hurt... whatever it is and whatever hard work i just done is lost in a few moments of eating something that seems worth it in that moment and in an hour i'll be kicking myself.... i don't know.... i guess you have to keep your goal in front of you all the time... for me i need to not have "trigger foods" in my apt. and it helps for other people to know to remind me...

"whatever it is and whatever hard work i just done is lost in a few moments of eating something that seems worth it in that moment and in an hour i'll be kicking myself...."

Your hard work is NOT lost at all, though. If you wind up working hard 80% of the time and living as you used to do for 20% of the time, you'll just lose 80% as fast as you otherwise would. It's the black/white thinking that makes it so hard to keep up the commitment. You can't possibly commit to eating perfectly all the time! It's not like cigarettes where cold turkey is feasible - we need food to live and sometimes you will be around unhealthy food and yet need to eat. You try to limit your portions, stop when you are no longer hungry, and maximize healthy foods and good habits in your life. But perfection is an unrealistic goal. And when you "kick yourself", i.e. add anxiety and stress to the process, it becomes much more likely that you will reach "breaking point" and just chuck it all and go back to mindless overeating.

So be gentle with yourself, and remember that the healthy changes you do (p.s. if they're "hard work", maybe you're doing it wrong!) will pay off in the end.

sometimes it takes time to decide if you are ready to committ.

The first few months I was on CC I was back and forth and ready to walk away a few times. then I had to take a good look at myself and decide whether or not I was ready to work on it. 10 months and 21# later, I am still here and working it everyday. Most days are very successful. I'm still not losing quickly...averaging @2#/month! But, I am in it for the long haul and by now, I think I'm really enjoying it.

This takes work. When you are ready, you will know. Enjoy life!

thank you guys. and Jmc1221 I hear ya in the moment I just don't care.

for me, it's about committing to small, concrete changes.  "weight loss" is too big and vague.  some of the commitments i've made in the past that have contributed to my 25 pound loss have been: running three times a week (did that for about 14 weeks, and plan to start again once the snow is gone); no alcohol for 4 weeks (it turned into 7); no potatoes in the house (because inevitably i turn them into homefries, which inevitably become poutine); and walking & hiking a minimum of 60 minutes/day (aside from yesterday, which was nuts, i've stuck to that for over a month now).  oh - and right now, no beer until may (i started that on march 24).

i have a short attention span, so most of my "commitments" don't last forever.  as long as i keep replacing them with new ones, it seems to work out ;-)

Original Post by trustwomen:

If you wind up working hard 80% of the time and living as you used to do for 20% of the time, you'll just lose 80% as fast as you otherwise would.

What a great way to look at it; that was really helpful!  Thanks :)

It really IS all about commitment, not merely motivation.  Motivation will wax and wane, but if you can identify solid, life-style reasons for why you MUST lose weight, you will be able to make the necessary commitment.  You won’t be able to stick to it 100%--no one can.  But when you fall down, you look back to the reasons why you must do this, and get back up and go again.

 

When my reasons were more surface, I couldn’t stick to it.  Things like, “I want to fit comfortably in airline and stadium seats again.”  “I want to be a size 8 again.”  “I want to enjoy shopping for clothes, instead of hating and dreading it.”  I said those things for 8 years and all it got me was heavier and heavier.  You have to find reasons that matter more to you than eating the next … (insert your food of choice.)

 

What finally changed for me was looking at some vacation pictures of myself, and suddenly seeing my grandmother, who’s been dead for 17 years.  In our earliest pictures of her, she was only a few years old than I am now, and she was, at that time, only a little heavier than I was.  I realized I was well on my way to becoming a carbon copy of her if I didn’t dramatically change my ways.  I was 65 pounds overweight (80 above my ideal weight) and gaining 10-12 pounds a year.  My health was in imminent peril from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and given my family history, probably diabetes; I couldn’t walk up more than a couple flights of stairs, my knees hurt, and on and on.  I was going to end up like her—old, sick, taking a zillion pills, and dead in her 60s from complications of heart surgery.

 

That’s when I was finally able to commit to change.  It’s been slow.  It took a couple months after that realization, before I actually begin making changes--the big one, joining a gym and beginnign to work out 30 minutes, 3 days a week.  There has been some sidetracking and backsliding.  But I began changing 21 months ago, and I’ve averaged 2.3 pounds a month.  I still have 26-31 pounds to lose, but I will get there eventually.  I won't stop until I do -- it's just a matter of how long will it take.

Montie, It is really hard to commit to a diet.. It's even harder when you feel you are going to let yourself down. Look at it like this.. If you can commit to one thing you can commit to another.

I've been on this diet kick for years, and I got it okay 9 times, and I felt so bad after letting myself down once again.. It's been a year now, and I have lost over 55 pounds... I didn't even let that Holiday plateau get me down. Nov,Dec,Jan,Feb, I had been holding that plateau all the way to the last week of Feb of this year..

Now, I have gotten to 171... NOW! After coming back to CC..

 You will commit when you are ready, but I myself too a mother of 3 had to do this not only for me, but for my children as well.. I got 2 girls, and 1 boy.. They are my Motivation..

I looked at the woman who was looking at me in a mirror one day, and I got so sick and tried of seeing the same old thing.. The me I didn't want to be.. So I got off my butt and I went on and I did something about it.. WORDS are free... But life isn't free. You have to work to be in it.. You have to get up and do work everyday so your life will work.

If you don't eat... You die.. If you don't work you don't eat.. Or should I say( if someone in the home don't work you don't eat). This life is like a chain.. But it doesn't have to be a food chain.. You don't have to be tied down to the couch, you don't have to be trapped in a body you don't want.

You want so much more out of life.. I know we all do.. That's why change has to come.. Getting up in the morning and getting your kids ready for the day, doesn't mean your day has to end there either.. You may get up and go to work. You may be a home maker like some of us.. You may be many things..

I don't know what's going on with your life, just like you don't know what is really going on with mines.. But life is life, and you have to live healthy to be around to see those great things your children are going to do..

I want to be here to see my girls get married.
I want to see my oldest be a laywer, and my youngest a teacher.
I want to be here to see my son get married.
I want to beable to watch my son run my father's business.
I want to be a grandmom, when they are married, not sooner..
Grand ma at 50 will be cool..
I want to be a great grandmom.
I want to be free from these pounds that has held me down for so many years..
I tell you want..
Take a sheet of paper with you and yourself alone in the room, and write down all the things you like about  yourself now! Then on another sheet right down all the things you'll love to see when your children grow up. Then on a 3rd sheet alone write down how you really feel on the inside.. Keep this to yourself now, and then think of where you are at now, and ask yourself.. Are you ready to commit to (YOU and your FAMILY once again.)

My daugher said something to me after I had lost the first 15 pounds.. She was 12 when she had said this to me.. She said mommy... Are you going to pay for my wedding when I get 35? I said yes baby. I am going to pay for your wedding.. Then she yells out.. DON'T forget to get daddy's half..

My children did it for me... But I had to forgive myself for the past to get started.

Good luck, and I hope these words find you well...

Lynn

I don't think it is about commitment or determination or willpower or 'being in the right mindset' etc.   Smoking is an all or nothing scenario - you either smoke or you don't.  Zero sum game.   Weight-control is more of a personal development issue because it's individual, something you learn and refine over time and there are lots of ways to do it. 

OK, at some point you have to decide that you're aiming for a healthier lifestyle.  But then it's very much a matter of defining what that means for you and finding a way to make it enjoyable and liveable.   'Diets' are tough because they're always designed for someone else.   Trying to live someone else's life and shoe-horn yourself into their dietary tastes isn't a long-term proposition.  When you're 'following a diet' you need commitment to toe the line and obey orders.  When you're developing your own version of a healthy lifestyle you need information, time, patience and a bit of imagination. 

I have a garden.  When I bought the house it was an overgrown wilderness.  Over time I've learned from books and catalogues, cleared weeds,  planted shrubs, watered it, fed it... I've put plants in the wrong place and had to move them.  I've had plants die and others thrive.  I've had mistakes and triumphs in equal measure.   But because I enjoy my garden I need no commitment to look after it.   If your healthy lifestyle gives you enjoyment you don't need commitment to do it either.

Original Post by gi-jane:

I don't think it is about commitment or determination or willpower or 'being in the right mindset' etc.   Smoking is an all or nothing scenario - you either smoke or you don't.  Zero sum game.   Weight-control is more of a personal development issue because it's individual, something you learn and refine over time and there are lots of ways to do it. 

 I think gi-jane has it exactly right - this isn't a black and white situation, like smoking is - you aren't either on the diet or off it. There is a half way!

My "commitment" was to keep working towards a goal every day. Some days I might back slide. But that isn't a failure, it's just part of the process.

If you are in school, and you have a term paper due, in theory, you should work on it every day. But if you don't work on it for a day, does that mean that you are going to fail the course? No - you just need to get started on it again, and pick up where you left off. And it's even easier with weight loss, because there isn't a due date - so you never have to pull an all-nighter.

Thank you all for y'alls input it is all very helpful. amethystgirl I like the way you put it. So many times I will mess up and feel like I have just blown it and give up. You are right get up, dust yourself off and start where you left off. I do thing that It is all about committment when it comes to the exercise part. I think you have to committ to that part (you either exercise or you don't right). Again Thank you all:)