this all or nothing concept that i have is killing me ....

this morning i was doing fine.  i had my temptation under control.

the hr director brought in doughnuts this morning and i made sure that i wasn't in that area to look at them.  then i overheard that there are sugar cookies in the break room.  i made an effort not to go in there and by doing so i limited my water in take.

lunch time i did good.  after lunch is when it all went down.

the (very skinny) receptionist dumped 5 fun snack candies on my desk.  i only asked for one.  i tried ot return them and she wouldn't have it.  so i ate one, then two and so on until there wasn't any more.  i was like well it should be okay causeim not over my cal limit for the day.

then the cookies got to me.  i had one and it was good.

i then went for a walk with some of my coworkers and i forgot about it.

after we got back i mistakenly walked by the doughnuts.  i couldnt resist i had one.

2 things i believe come into play here.  one i have the all or nothing approach.  if i mess up then might as well quit.  that seems to be the most dominant here.  secondly i think some part of me is feeling thatim restricting to much hence wanting more.

my solution.  i don't have one.  im sick of always thinking that if i mess up then screw it and the rest of the day gets worse.  i feel like im stuck in a rut and cant get out.

ive had like 4 cheat days this week.

how does one get over this concept its all or nothing?

I used to think that was how I had to be. And once I would "ruin" my healthy eating that it didn't matter anymore and it was a downward sprial. I was just talking to my cousin about this last night at the gym. It's all about will power. You can have that one fun snack. As long as it's only one. You can have a slice of pizza, but just the one. I always pair mine with a salad. I hated this past Halloween. My son brought home a crap load of candy. I picked out one or two things and sent the rest to work with my husband. I think the all or nothing concept is not fair to anyone. The more you resist the more you're gonna cave and have these "setbacks". So that's why I allow myself a cheat day. Every Friday my family and I go out to dinner and I get something slightly "naughty". It makes me feel like I'm not cheating myself. And I have found that as long as I keep moving and going to the gym I'm still losing weight. I hope that helps. I'm such a rambler. Good Luck!

Original Post by tgeving:

how does one get over this concept its all or nothing?

By not letting yourself be driven by statistical goals.  Who cares what the scale says?  Do what is right for yourself long-term, and be content with that.  Choose to be satisfied with the notion that you are running the marathon, making steady progress, moving generally in the right direction. 

Maybe this doesn't apply to you.  But I'm sort of all-or-nothing too.  And for me, it's because I am (until recently) a slave of the daily weigh-in.  If I relax one thing, in my mind the entire day is shot, so I go off totally.  That's not rooted in reality though.  I still weigh in daily, but I choose not to care that much.  I choose to care about taking care of my body.  One day at a time, weight loss or not.

Here's what I would have done in your situation. If it helps, great! If not, throw it out. I would have decided which I really wanted most...the donut, the candy, or the cookie. Then I would have eaten whichever. OR if I really wanted all three, I would have taken part of a donut, half a cookie, and half the candy bar. Either way, I would have made a point to really, really enjoy whichever I took.

Here's my principle (coming from someone who used to be EXACTLY like you) If I try to limit myself with "willpower" then I will invariably screw up and binge because "I blew it already, so I might as well..." But since I decided to have whatever I was craving in smaller doses, it has really eased up the binge reflex. I read a book called Intuitive Eating and it was saying that you need to not let food become the "enemy". If you really want something...eat it. Just take the time to really think about what you are eating so that you can enjoy it. And that way you usually end up eating less. Plus you don't have a craving to binge.

Does it work? So far it has for me. I've lost 10 lbs easily in the month I've been counting calories. And the great thing is that I don't even want to eat any other way. Good luck!