Office Humor:
Office work dull?....None of your colleagues appreciate your humor?....Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution.
ONE-POINT GAGS
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other ‘no-player’ must be in the bathroom at the time).
Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye”
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels sooooo good!”
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE-POINT GAGS
Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it”.
Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a non-player within sight).
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE-POINT GAGS
Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch it yourself)
Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob”.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do number two”.
After every sentence, say “mon” in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, “the report’s on your desk, mon”. Keep this up for an hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you”.
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “With God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again”
In a colleagues datebook, write in 10AM: “See how I look in tights”
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask “You wanna trade?”
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now”
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it”
Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
**stands up, checks her chair for tinkle marks**
Nope, it's all good! Thanks, i sooooo needed that!
LOL, I know, I was laughing so hard here at my desk when I first read this I was crying!! That's why I had to post it on here. Can you just imagine if a group of people in an office did this? The one that cracked me up the most was rollerblading around throwing sweets.
I needed that...thanks
Simply superb.
I don't think I'll try it. Unemployment is high enough already.
Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. --- I kind of did this once. I had just gotten out of a meeting regarding my two weeks notice. I was more or less told I would stay 8 additional weeks to train a replacement. One of the higher ups in the meeting was known to play radio contests. So I called him as a DJ and told him he won. Nothing made me smile more watching him jump out of his chair yelling YES! YES! and then take his self-important hiney out the door at lunch smiling. My last 10 weeks of work were SO fun (for me anyway).
:p Silly Op.
HAHA these are awesome!!
I had to crouch down in my cube and cover my mouth i was laughing so hard. Didn't want to give myself away, its obivousl that my work wouldn't make me giggle like that. thanks =)
I just sent this in an email to a co-worker, who I'm betting at least $20, that he will try some of these within the next week. AWESOME! I love office entertainment...
Fortunately, I work in an office where things like this would be embraced.
For instance, I was talking to my supervisor in the hallway outside the bathrooms today and as our conversation came to an end he sort of paused and said, "Well, I think we both have to pee. I'll take one and you take the other."
My office is rather small, so a lot of these wouldn't work very well. And I don't think anyone would be surprised if I did any of them. Too bad :[ If only we had an elevator.
OMFG I don't even need to be in an office to find these insanely hilarious!! Hahahaha!
Original Post by cavaliers:
I'm glad everyone is getting as much of a kick out of these as I did. I hadn't seen this in several years and was doing some housecleaning over the weekend and came across it. While I was typing it I was just dying laughing here at work all over again. All day yesterday I was picturing people's faces if I did some of these things. Like the National Anthem thing, the funny thing about that one is that people would actually join in the singing. I wouldn't be able to continue because I would be on the floor laughing. And the running a lap at full speed - can't you just see people's jaws drop open?
Office humor NEVER gets old!!! I had to share with my coworkers. (and reading this...I think of the movie OFFICE SPACE!) One of the funniest movies out there!
I sent this to some of my fellow grad students. Operation Mayhem has started! I am going to keep tally of everyone's points and by the end of the semester the winner will get a prize, I am not sure what the prize should be yet, though!
Original Post by hotfuss:
I sent this to some of my fellow grad students. Operation Mayhem has started! I am going to keep tally of everyone's points and by the end of the semester the winner will get a prize, I am not sure what the prize should be yet, though!
Oh, this is too funny. Please keep us posted with what's going on and what funny reactions they get from people.
Apparently I'm the only one who thinks this is incredibly childish.
Original Post by cavaliers:
Original Post by hotfuss:
I sent this to some of my fellow grad students. Operation Mayhem has started! I am going to keep tally of everyone's points and by the end of the semester the winner will get a prize, I am not sure what the prize should be yet, though!
Oh, this is too funny. Please keep us posted with what's going on and what funny reactions they get from people.
YES would love to hear how that goes!
I really want to try some of these. Especially the one about grimacing to end a conversation.
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