Are All Women Sexist?

Now then, that I have your attention.

I've noticed a most frustrating attitude among some members of the female community that seems to come down to "I/my female bretheren am better than the entire male sex." I won't say it's all of you, but it's enough women (and in enough posts) that one could begin to see a pattern.

So what say you Women? Are you Sexist? Is it just a small minority among you? Is it just a maturity thing, that as women mature they grow wisdom and see men as no longer the enemy?

Why so many angry, bitter feelings towards a whole sex? Are we, the men on this site, to believe that just because a handful of men may have done you wrong that the entire sex has done you wrong, included those whom have never met you?

Discuss.

Original Post by splitrail:

In my experience, men and women are equally sexist when it comes to homosexuality. 

Do you mean that people tend to assume someone is hetero until informed otherwise?  Or are you referring to discrimination?

I haven't really been a part of this community for long, so I might be overstepping my bounds by commenting here, but I couldn't resist.

When women get angry and do their "boy-bashing", it really has very little to do with being screwed over by one individual meathead, or even 20 meatheads, but instead is due to misdirected anger/frustration with a culture that promotes objectification (it just so happens that it's these particular meatheads who do the objectifying). This is a patriarchial society where femininity is only acceptable if it is directly corresponding with sex. This attitude quickly wears on us, and like I said, our frustration can easily be misdirected.

women were put here to make men happy, plain and simple. i only hope to do my part.

I'm not sexist, I'm all for equallity! If I am in a relationship and he wants to stay home while I am the breadwinner....when I get home, the housework had better be done, dinner on the table and he better put out when he is told to. LOL.

Original Post by juliemae2:

Original Post by clairelaine:

I watched and learned as my mother waited on my father hand and foot.  Everything the family did was for his benefit.  He considered it his job to house, feed, clothe us and he had the final say on all decisions, and he put his own needs first.  He was considered a wonderful man because he didn't lose his temper and hit us.

It was that way in my house, too.  I watched... and decided there was no way in hell I was going to wait on/depend on anyone like that.

Of course, I was born in the 70's, so the social climate was completely different.  I think it was already okay (maybe even encouraged) for a woman not to want that.

 I was a teenager in the 1960s and I thought that my mother's life would be like my life.  She seemed pretty happy most of the time and I thought I'd meet someone, get married and have the same kind of life.  It was a big shock to me to discover that I'd have to keep on working to help my husband get ahead, but I accepted it.  Society changed, the workplace changed me, and I wasn't willing to put up with it for long.  It gets so you feel battered by life, having to fight for every little advantage.

There is a book; Women can't hear what men don't say, by Dr. Warren Farrell.  It was an eye opener for me and it does talk about how men have been made to seem inferior in the media.  In the same way we are ambushed with material items to buy we are also ambushed with the message that men are dumb.  It is well worth the read.

I personally value men and would never consider myself a sexist.   

THIS is rich ..are you kidding?? OMG Here is the thing.......if some of  us are..it is no wonder--we have been treated --poorly............but MANY of us..still are open to istening and feeling and caring  NO Not all women are sexist

Original Post by kae03:

I am basically the anti-feminist...I think the woman's "movement" did as much if not more harm to women and families as it helped...for one, women entering the work force brought inflation so it is no longer possible to easily live on 1 income forcing women who WANT to stay home and be a homemaker in to the work place...and so many kids in daycares...or alone...

so yes, I have seen sexism and man bashing here...

I am a man lover..love our differences!

Kae03, if it makes you feel better, you're not alone.  It never ceases to amuse me (and frustrate me) to see the double standard in SOOOO MANY women.  Women want 'equal rights' but only those that are convenient.  Mind you this doesn't apply to all women, there are decent men and women out there, decency isn't bound to one sex or the other (neither is @$$holism).  But there are enough people out there who are like this to really get on my nerves somedays.  I agree that the whole "womens liberation" movement didn't really liberate anyone in the long run.  It just created new problems without really solving the problems it was meant to solve.

There are alot of really great guys out there, and to lump ALL men into one category just because of the actions of one or two "lumpees" in the lives of the "lumper" just shows that there are some unfinished business in the lives of the lumper, lumpees or both. (and this goes the other way around, too.)  It could of course be an issue of maturity.  Or it could be that some people just feed off of stirring trouble, and what better way to stir up people than to say "All men are pigs"  Or "Men are all ****" or even "Women are b*****s."  To be fair this goes for men too, I've seen men lump all women into one category because of one or two women in their life. 

The biggest tragedy to me in all this is that even though the 'lumper' may be absolutely correct in their accusations against the 'lumpees' in their own life, (meaning the men/women who hurt them) as long as the 'lumper' continues to choose to see EVERYONE of the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on your taste) in the same category, then those 'lumpees' (people who hurt them in the first place) are STILL being allowed to hurt them.    More accurately, the 'lumpers' are hurting themselves.  They're missing out on life/love, who knows what possibilities simply because they refuse to deal with and/or let go of what caused the hurt in the first place.  They could be missing out on some great relationships as a result of it (including the one we all have with ourselves.)

I'm old fashioned.  We all know that men and women aren't physically created equal, but I believe we're also created differently psychologically as well as emotionally.  I believe we were created to be a complement to each other, not to compete with one another.   To answer the original question, yes, I think that alot of women as well as men are sexist, and it's a shame. 

Safiyah

Original Post by hkellick:

Is it just a maturity thing, that as women mature they grow wisdom and see men as no longer the enemy?

You know, I think it is a maturity thing, to a certain extent.

I'm a 32-year-old woman, working as a secretary in a university and taking the occasional course for fun because staff members get 3 credit hours for free per semester.  The "college age" girls that I meet in these classes scare me.  If I hear the words "gender/feminist theory" one more time, I might start snoring.

Then I think back to my younger days, first leaving home and entering college myself, and I remember spouting the same vitriol.  Maybe because it was such an eye-opening experience.  The guys sat around talking about their latest class, intellectual theory, what-have-you, but if I voiced my opinion on the topic at hand, I was patted on the head and told to have a beer.  Instead of stopping to think about my approach or argumentation skills (or lack thereof) or evaluating the company I was keeping, I just chalked it up to being a female, and it became a vicious cycle.  The rashness and stupidity of youth.

As for lumping all of one gender into a catch-all group... We're taught from a young age to generalise and categorise our world in an attempt to understand it.  (Sesame Street:  "One of these things is not like the others", yeah?)  But of course this just doesn't work when it comes to understanding our fellow humans.  I think it's a heck of a lot more interesting that way.  And I don't want to imagine a world without men!  :)

you got my point...

Original Post by hamburger28:

women were put here to make men happy, plain and simple. i only hope to do my part.

 Wtf? I'm going to assume you're kidding for my sanity.

Wow. There are some replies in here that I find a tad disturbing.

Speaking as a male, and as a feminist, it seems as if a lot of people don't know anything about feminism or the feminist movement(s). There isn't just one version of feminism but a variety of strains and what are known as waves of feminism. We are currently on the third wave. Often when people are disagreeing with feminism what they are describing has very little relationship with most veins of feminism. I strongly recommend people read up on feminism. I recommend trying to read the author bell hooks who is an easy read but digs deep on issues.

Often when I hear other guys complaining about women being sexist it tends to be for two different reasons.

The first is their frustration and/or misunderstanding of women venting about guys and the way they get treated by guys. Venting should never be taken as seriously-held beliefs. It is emotional and typically exaggerated. And given how women are treated in this society, they have every reason to vent.

The second, and more disturbing reason is to put women back in their place whether this is consciously done or not. I hear things that fall into this category A LOT. Apparently these guys think that just because I'm also a guy I will agree with them. They wish to preserve their privileges within the status quo that exists in this society. And the status quo we currently have is quite patriarchal.

Women are not immune to being affected from patriarchy. It is something that we are all being ingrained with from birth.

One way this can affect women is they internalize these views and look down on other women, especially women who don't follow traditional gender roles. Choosing a traditional gender role for oneself is one thing, but demanding that others follow it is something completely different.

Another way this can affect women is that they hold to the patriarchal belief that the sexes are in competition with one another. This will also affect the way in which they vent about guys.

So to the guys I suggest that when you feel that a woman is being sexist to you, that you do two things: First, don't just assume that she's wrong and you're right, but instead reflect on the way that you treat women. Secondly, put yourself in her place and how the things that she has to deal with on a daily basis affect her.

Also, I suggest that those in college (it wasn't my route in life but to each their own) to take advantage of the opportunity to take some women's studies courses. And for those not in college to read up on some feminist theory - once again I highly recommend bell hooks.

Original Post by hamburger28:

women were put here to make men happy, plain and simple. i only hope to do my part.

I'm pretty sure that's a joke, but if it's not:

HA! By whom?!

How much oppression and discrimination have you, yourself, experienced in your life?

Oppression? No.  Discrimination?  Yes (great thread by the way).  I have been discriminated against because I was female, I have been told that I make less money than a man in the same position "because he has mouths to feed and I have only myself"  (lol discriminated against because I was single, there's a new one)  My own mother even did it once, took away a car I was paying for (she was a co-signer) and gave it to my sister because my daughter died and her daughter was still alive therefore she needed it more.  Those are just two instances...

Did I choose to be a victim because of those things?  Yeah, at the time I did.  But I still had alot of growing up to do.  Now, looking back on it, it's just one of those things we have to deal with as a result of today's society.  I certainly don't use my past as self-justifcation to do the same to others.   I certainly don't use those instances as a crutch to beat others down (or keep myself down).  I mean, let's be totally honest here.  HOW MANY decent white men have been turned down for a job in the US because of 'equal opportunity' laws/policies which caused a company to hire someone who may have been less qualified but was either a woman, low income or a minority?  (and THAT was because when they DO hire someone who's female, low income or a minority then that company gets a tax break by the government)  If I'm going to be completely honest about myself being discriminated against, then I'd have to also admit that MANY times over the years I've heard employers tell me that I got a job simply because I was a woman and not necessarily because I was more qualified.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not racist, I understand why those laws and policies were created in the first place, but how long do we allow this to go on before we acknowledge that EVERYONE is discriminated against at some point for some reason?  How long before we stop pointing fingers and start finding solutions?  How long before we stop allowing what happened 100 years ago to our sex/race to justify our being the same way today to others?

Ok, off my soapbox now, lol, got a little carried away...  Like I said, great thread.

Safiyah

No sexism here. I love my men :D Well, my man anyway.

Original Post by class_matters:

There isn't just one version of feminism but a variety of strains and what are known as waves of feminism. We are currently on the third wave.

... because even feminists have a hard time agreeing with each other.

Original Post by beckabooey:

Original Post by class_matters:

There isn't just one version of feminism but a variety of strains and what are known as waves of feminism. We are currently on the third wave.

... because even feminists have a hard time agreeing with each other.

Feminism isn't exceptional in this fact.  Every single political/social/economic theory has numerous variations.