am i allowed to ask about same-sex marriages?

what's your opinion on same-sex marriages.. particularly in the u.s.? i have to write an argumentative essay for my english final talking about both sides of the debate, but i don't know where to start.

I am all for them, can't think of a viable rationale to deny anyone basic civil rights.

the pro side is a human rights argument: gay people are entitled to the same rights, privileges, and benefits as straight people.

the anti side sees it as an erosion of the institution of marriage and a threat to family values.

for it.  who am i to begrudge happiness to any two people that love each other and want to be married.  seriously there is no reason against that I've heard that has ever made sense to me.

i believe that same sex couples should be able to legally marry and be given the same rights as any hetero couple.

as far as both sides go, i find that the people who are against gay marriage feel that way because of their religious beliefs, they don't seem to understand that our government and their church are separate. nobody is asking churches to change their teaching and marry gays. or they are against it because they are just hateful, ignorant morons. 

if two people love each other and want to get married i think it's absolutely ridiculous for anyone to try to deny them that.

Agree with Jules, and would like to add that I'm very proud of the states in the USA that recognize gay marriage, and deplore California's passage of Prop 8 last year.  *hangs head at being a born-and-raised Californian*

I do not have a problem with gay marriage. I'd love it if my state were to follow Iowa, Vermont and others (but it will never happen).

Regardless of one's religious beliefs, I really don't get those folks who are opponents of gay marriage. Why do some people care that much about other people? It doesn't affect you so butt out. That's how I feel. If someone feels that being gay is a sin or whatever that person's reasons are, that person is entitled to his/her opinion. But that person is not entitled to dictate how others do (or do not, for legal reasons) live their lives. That's my take on it, anyway.

*edited - typo

SSM are legal here in Canada.

I overheard this discussion the other day.  Why can a person in jail who has committed a crime be able to get married, but two people of the same sex, both of whom are law abiding citizen, can not?

Pro side, two people who love each other and are committed to a relationship should have the same legal benifits as a traditional marriage.

Con side, some people see this as a threat.

I am going to a same sex wedding next year.  These two women have been in a committed relationship for five years.  I wish them well and am honoured to share their day with them.

I completely agree that same sex partners should be able to enjoy both the legal and financial incentives and protections as well as the disadvantages of marriage.

I want to know when I'm going to stop being penalized for being single...at my work, married people get a higher benefit allocation, so do those who are registered domestic partners. They get to take sick leave to help care for their significant other who is ill.  I want to be able to give the other half of my benefits to a friend or family member who has need of them regardless of their marital status in regards to me.

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

Con side, some people see this as a threat.

 

Why? Serious question.

Is it threatened like... my kid with hetero parents shouldn't mix with your kid with non hetero parents? Or what?

If I can marry a man in a ceremony that has nothing to do with religion, and still be married by law, then clearly we as a society have gone past the point where marriage must have something to do with religion.

Therefore, I don't see why someone from a religion that I take no part in would have any say if I should decide to marry a woman, instead, even if it doesn't abide by the rules of their religion (according to them, that is - many within their religion might have no problem with same-sex marriage).

Original Post by bagga:

I am all for them, can't think of a viable rationale to deny anyone basic civil rights.

 this.

Original Post by amy_blue:

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

Con side, some people see this as a threat.

 

Why? Serious question.

Is it threatened like... my kid with hetero parents shouldn't mix with your kid with non hetero parents? Or what?

I think that some people feel that allowing same-sex marriages diminishes the worth of their own marriage.

To this, I can only say - if what two strangers do in their private life messes with your relationship with your spouse, you have bigger problems than this.

I don't have a problem with gay couples.  Never have and don't think that I ever will.

However I have always stayed away from this question because I don't know where I stand on the issue.  Both sides bring up legitimate points

Why should gays be denied there ability to exercise their basic human rights, the same human rights that allow straight couples to marry?  I don't have a good argument against this question.

Pardon me if this post doesn't make much sense, the drugs I am on are hitting me harder then usual...

But the anti-gay marriage group bring a valid point to the table that I cannot argue with either.  That is that homosexuality does disrupt the instituation of marriage, a sacred bond between a man and a woman.  I personally don't believe in this sacred bond, but I can understand where the people that do believe in it and are against gay marriage are coming from.

So I am torn, no comment...

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Original Post by amy_blue:

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

Con side, some people see this as a threat.

 

Why? Serious question.

Is it threatened like... my kid with hetero parents shouldn't mix with your kid with non hetero parents? Or what?

I think that some people feel that allowing same-sex marriages diminishes the worth of their own marriage.

To this, I can only say - if what two strangers do in their private life messes with your relationship with your spouse, you have bigger problems than this.

AH! I see what you mean.

And, ditto.  Truly boggles my mind.

amy_blue, don't ask me why people see this as a threat, I can not come up with any arguments.  If two people of any sex want to get married, so be it. 
People just seem to be threatened by what they don't understand. no matter what the topic is.

I am on the pro-side of this.

Here's a good argument in favor of gay marriage (written in 2006)

These are Dr. Dobson's arguments against it (none of which seem at all compelling to me, and some of them are totally lacking in rationality)

Here is a secular argument against gay marriage that can essentially be summed up thusly:

Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason for the state to grant them the costly benefits of marriage, unless they serve some other state interest. The burden of proof, therefore, is on the advocates of gay marriage to show what state interest these marriages serve. Thus far, this burden has not been met....Homosexual activists protest that they only want all couples treated equally. But why is sexual love between two people more worthy of state sanction than love between three, or five? When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

Hope that helps!

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

 When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

 

If they're not denying marriage licenses to infertile hetero couples or those not affirming procreative intentions, this "argument" falls a little flat.

^ agree!!

And to answer the OP's question, I'm all for same-sex marriages, in fact I might have one myself one of these days.

Original Post by purespark:

Agree with Jules, and would like to add that I'm very proud of the states in the USA that recognize gay marriage, and deplore California's passage of Prop 8 last year.  *hangs head at being a born-and-raised Californian*

Me too! I am not hanging my head though, I am holding it high as one of the 48% of Californians who did NOT vote yes on Prop 8.

I am all for same sex marriages, provided that no church is forced to perform them. Honestly, I want the word 'marriage' taken out of civil unions all over.

The government provides civil unions to everyone, regardless of race, sex, creed, etc,. (taking into account age limitations and amount of people limitations that are current though).

Churches provide marriages to whomever they so choose, as is their right as private institutions.

End of story.

edit: added to say that those who are 'threatened' by gay marriage have some pretty obvious points, that I can dispute.

Teaching gay marriage in schools: Being gay is not a choice. Science will very soon (if they have not already) prove this to be true. Teaching that people are gay and allowed to marry and that that is OK in public schools will not make your son or daughter gay. If your son or daughter is gay, they were born that way, and are just now coming to terms with it in a world where being gay is still frowned upon as 'perverted' and 'disgusting'. Coming out as gay is STILL like putting a 'kick me' sign on one's back, so a lot of people do not come out until they are much older. Also, most children are not sexual creatures straight off, and if they are, it's innocent....most children do not think of sex in terms or right or wrong, most kids don't think of it at all! Children 'fall in love' with whomever they do, and only correct that behavior if they are told something is wrong with it (i.e. Don't kiss that boy David, that's wrong! or Anne, you shouldn't hold hands with her, she's a girl)

Churches being forced to preform marriages of same sex couples: won't happen. There will be laws and provisions in place that protect churches from law suits from greedy same sex couples who are only out to make a buck from someone who refuses to marry them.

Gay marriage diminishing your hetero marriage: How? How does this happen at all? Your marriage shines on it's own, and the fact that a gay couple that loves each other enough to get married has nothing to do with your marriage. It does not make your marriage less than, it just makes it one of yet another many marriages that is out there. Worry less about other people, and more about your own family, and your marriage will be just fine.

Original Post by santonacci:

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

 When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

If they're not denying marriage licenses to infertile hetero couples or those not affirming procreative intentions, this "argument" falls a little flat.

I had a person give me the "marriage is for procreation" argument.

She didn't have a reply when I pointed out that, while she had 3 children with her ex husband, she had zero children with her new husband, and given some measures she had taken while still in her first marriage, there was a zero chance of her having any children in the future.

If people would rather that anyone who doesn't get married by the church to be in a civil union, that's ok. Although what if you get married in a temple? Does that still count as marriage? Or is marriage just for Christians?