Allowing myself to gain weight

I don't think I have a big problem, but I thought that maybe some people who have dealt with eating disorders can help me before I get too deep. I don't have any extreme eating behaviors or exercise behaviors (I eat 1800-2200 calories a day, walk 3miles a day, go to the gym  days a week for 30min cardio and 20 min lifting). But I have s-l-o-w-l-y lost some weight over the past couple years. I am 5'2. I was about 102 two years ago. I am about 95-96 now. I have not tried to lose weight, but I won't let myself gain weight. Which means when I dropped to 100, I never wanted to be 102 again. Same goes for dropping under 100. I think I look better at about 100-102, but I just don't want to gain weight. If I am starting to gain weight, I will begin to exercise more. No one has ever said anything to me about eating disorders and I don't know if this really qualifies, but I just want some advice on allowing myself to gain a couple pounds. I am scared if I gain weight, I won't be able to control it and I'll gain too much. Also, I feel like if I do gain weight, it all goes to my stomach and not spead out like it should.

sweetie, it sounds like you have excersise-bulemia... you use excessive excersising to loose and/or prevent weight gain. It is not a healthy behavior, and will lead to mental and physical damage.

since you are eating enough (right now anyways) for your height, easing up on the excersise is not going to cause a drastic weight gain, as long as you don't eat more then you burn.

but since you excersise excessivly you may possibly be burning too many calories and put your body into starvation mode. The brain runs on glucose which is obtained from food, and when it is deprieved of this nourishment it goes haywire. Which is probably why you are so scared to gain weight, your thinking has been distorted.

keep going at this pace and you will feel terrible, you will be exhausted all the time and it may lead to depression. Also ED side effects may occur since you are putting your body through so much (loss of period, irritabilty, dry skin, weak brittle hair, lanuga, anxiety etc.) I suggest that you do a little research and possibly find a therapist, because while you think you are healthy, your story says otherwise...

Hey.  I'm sort of on a similar boat as you.  I'm 5'2" with a medium/small frame and I started off 117lbs and just kept loosing and loosing weight purposely.  I eventually started eating less and less and excersised more and more.  I got down to 96lbs in 4 months and was terrified to gain weight back because I liked how my body looked each time I lost weight.  I think my brain got all disorted too because everyone thought I looked too thin but I thought I was fine.  Well it's all about what your comfortable with really, your you and in the end its about how you feel.  But you don't wanna get hair loss, dry skin, and anxiety..because nobody likes that.  I got hair loss dry skin and anxiety and now my nutritionest and parents want me to be 110lbs.  I feel as if I'd be a hippo if I gained that much weight from 102lbs I am right now.  I already have gained 3 inches on my stomach, which is 3 inches away from what I used to be at 117lbs so it's really odd.  Anyway, I feel comfortable and fine at the weight I am now and I don't wanna gain more.  But the more weight you loose the more "fine" you'll become with it, so I suggest not going lower

It is good to read about someone who has the same feelings. It's weird because I do think I'd look better if I gained a few pounds, but I also don't want to put on weight because I have accepted myself at 96lbs. I like the way my body looks, but my face looks too thin and my hair has gotten thinner. I don't think I look a lot thinner and I feel like if I did put on weight I'd look a lot bigger than 100lbs or 102lbs. I guess that is what is meant by a distorted body image.

I don't feel like I exercise too much since I've read people need 60min a day of cadio and should lift 2-3 times a week. I walk a lot because I live in the city and I don't have a car. Am I getting too much exercise? I supposed I don't need to do cardio at the gym if I am already walking 3 miles a day.

I hate that I spend so much time thinking about weight and food. I feel like it is constantly on my mind! Once in a while I will get a comment (usually from someone I don't know well) how "tiny" I am, but people act like it is a good thing! Because my weight loss has been so gradual, no one (not even a doctor) has mentioned anything about it. I think that is another reason it is hard to want to gain weight, because I still get complements at this weight. But it really should be about how I feel, I do think I'll be happy when I start eating a little more and gaining a little weight.

I understand how you feel.... I have food and exercise on my mind constantly. I always find myself thinking about what I will eat in the next meal or what I will "allow" myself to have when I go out to dinner with friends. I hate this!!

I am recovering from an ED and this has been the hardest thing that I have ever done. I also get compliments on being soo small, but now I dont take them as compliments because I feel like these people are looking at me like I need help. Atleast my friends tell me Lindsey you are way to small and you look malnourished...So everytime you feel like you dont want to gain, remember to tell yourself that you need to to be healthy and happy!