Almost at your goal? What do you see when you look in the mirror?

I had a very rude awaking today.  I was at todayshow.com and was looking at before/after pictures of people who had lost over 100 pounds using diet and exercise.  I came across a picture of a woman who lost 144 pounds and now weighs in at 164 pounds.

She looks fantastic.  Very thin.  Well I’m at 160 pounds (5’6”) and I think I look much larger than I think I really am.  So I start rationalizing.  Perhaps she is taller than I am or the clothes she took the picture in are slimming.

Then it occurred to me, I am much smaller than I used to be.  I started at 226 and I have lost a total of 66 pounds.  Perhaps I look better than I think I do.

After all, when I go shopping and pick up a pair of pants in a size 8, I always think, these will NEVER fit.  And guess what, they always do!

Anybody else have similar thoughts or issues?

I hear ya!

As of this morning, I've lost 44.5lbs. I look at the number and then I look in the mirror, and I'm thinking, I hope I get small enough when I get to my goal. BUT then I put two pictures side by side. One from "before" and one now. THEN I see the difference.

Wow Lauren, your goals are very similar to mine.  Congrats on the 44.5 loss, that is fantastic!  What is your goal weight?  I'm 5'6" and trying to get to 154.  Will re-evaluate at that time.

The story of my life as of late... I've lost 100 lbs and I'm probably about 5 to 10 lbs away from my goal, and it's day to day how I feel about myself. Some days I'm really down on myself, thinking I'm still really far away from being where I want to be, but then other days, I'll catch myself at a certain angle in the mirror, and I don't even recognize myself, and I feel pretty damn good.

I chalk it up to any number of things depending on my mood, but two main ones: 1) unrealistic expectations, not only of what I was going to look like but even what fit people look like--even people with six packs have a little pudge when they sit down. I just didn't know. And then 2) years of conditioning--I've been overweight all my life, so it's really shaped a lot of how I see myself. While losing the weight physically certainly isn't easy, I think it's even more difficult to lose it mentally, you know? To redo the entire way I see myself.

While losing the weight physically certainly isn't easy, I think it's even more difficult to lose it mentally, you know?

 Oh, I know.

Truer words have not been said. I still frequently have days when I am still the "fat girl" trapped inside a "skinny girl"'s body. For our minds it's harder to lose the weight than our bodies! Go figure...

Thanks tciherr

Right now I think I'll stop at 145. It is just inside my "healthy bmi". Like you, I'm going to see what happens when I get there. I may want to take off 5 more or so, but I don't think more than that. Then again, I have no idea what it will be like. I haven't been that weight since I was 12...but I was 4 inches shorter then too.

Most of the time, I see myself as same-as-I've-always-been.  Intellectually, I know I'm thinner - and every so often I catch a glance of parts of me in a changing room mirror or similar reflection and think "hey, I got thinner" - but mostly I just see me.  "Me" also varies in size based on my mood.  Some days I see a ton of fat; others I see less. 

I am so glad you brought this up.

I have lost about 65lbs and I am now in my healthy weight range... I am pretty underwhelmed by how I look. I have always been overweight so I have never  known what body type I am. I think that I have a pretty small frame and have  more work to do before I am at my goal.

Another part of my problem is that I thought when I  lost weight, I would look perfect. I realize now that many things I do not like about myself can not be blamed on my weight.

This is all so odd to me because I felt pretty confident as an overweight person.

 

 

I never see any change, but hey ho. I'm hoping that if I stay at this weight, or maybe lower, I'll eventually be able to see my weight in the mirror how it actually is.

Mirrors drive me bonkers. The mirror in my room will change my reflection depending on the lighting in my room. Sometimes my legs look like logs and other days they look like twigs. Same mirror, same weight, clothes fit the same, different lighting. 

In some dressing room mirrors I look exactly like I did 25lbs ago. Big trunk legs and a gut.  But in others (same day, different store) I look emaciated.

In photos and video, I never immediately recognize myself.

I'd love to count on people's opinions, but I've heard everything from "you look so great!" to "you are too thin" to "did you cut your hair or something? New jeans? Somethings different" to "want to go on a diet with me?".

Really, I have no idea what I look like. Did I get too thin? Should I try to lose that last bit of leg fat? Is there leg fat? aaagggghhhh!

 

I'm scared that I'll never feel thin. I look at pictures from a year ago when I was at the weight that I'm aiming to get back to and think wow, I was SO small back then, why did I have all that anxiety? Why did I feel fat? I've put on around 9 kilos since then and have successfully lost about 3, but the whole time I've only ever felt various degrees of fat. I hope when I get back to my goal weight I can look in the mirror and see the girl in the photos.

I feel huge, but I look tiny in the mirror. It is very weird. I'm 128lb, 5'3". I just don't think I'm used to it yet. I always think clothes won't fit me too. I am in S or XS in a lot of places though. I am still not a fan of how I look in pictures. I think because I have a 34DD chest still and my arms are my least favourite part of my body, any pictures that are from the chest up and I look a few sizes bigger than I actually am! I am very hourglassy. Well I look good naked, which is more important than photos!

I am a less confident person now I'm thinner. Or it might be now I'm older. I'm not sure. I am a lot more self-critical. When I was 160, 170lb I loved myself and my beautiful cooking and my slightly naughty wine habit and thought I was beautiful. Now I'm like, hmm, could trim the arms down a bit. Maybe it's because I never thought I could lose weight before (I'd always been on the bigger side as a teenager too) and now I know.. it's possible. So where do you stop?

Tciherr, you look fantastic, really.

ps. Also: I assume I am the biggest girl in the room unless someone is quite noticably overweight. I found myself doing this this morning. There were 5 girls there including me, one was a little overweight, the other three were not, just nice, pretty, normal-sized, probably all of them were a UK12. I just subconsciously assumed they were smaller than me. Thinking about it objectively, I was at least a size smaller than everyone in that room.

Does anyone else do this?

Yes bairn, I do this all the time.  I look at women and try to compare how big I am to them.  It's silly really because it is difficult to tell how much someone weighs by looking at them.  I bet if you took three women, all 5'6" and a size 8, I bet they would all be at a different weight.  My guess is they would all three have different opinions about if they needed to lose weight or not too.

Original Post by bairn:

ps. Also: I assume I am the biggest girl in the room unless someone is quite noticably overweight. I found myself doing this this morning. There were 5 girls there including me, one was a little overweight, the other three were not, just nice, pretty, normal-sized, probably all of them were a UK12. I just subconsciously assumed they were smaller than me. Thinking about it objectively, I was at least a size smaller than everyone in that room.

Does anyone else do this?

All the time. I don't like going out to clubs where I know that most people there are going to be thinner than me as it makes me uncomfortable for the rest of the night...

But yeah. I spend far too much time mentally comparing my size to that of others'. I can never tell who's bigger though, unless we're standing next to  each other in a full length mirror.

As and adult I have weighed 118 and 190 and every weight in between and I have always been "fat"...what a shame to never enjoy how you look! Currently I am 161. The last time I felt like I looked "good enough" I was 150 and that is my goal. After that, I will see if I can get to 140. Hopefully, if I make it to my goal (short or long term) I will realize I am not "fat" after all...wouldn't that be a dream? I think I look fat in every picture I take though. I just have never had a thin face and my weight shows on my chin...lovely! I have thrown away (or fast forward to digital cameras) deleted so many pictures b/c I have a double chin when I smile and it makes me cringe and feel like I weigh 7000 pounds. Not only do I compare myself to other women in the weight department I also try to decide if I am the most attractive person in the room. It is really quite pathetic...I mean, is that what I feel life is about...do I think I have no talents to offer that would be more impressive than hopefully being the prettiest girl in the room? Quite disgusting! Another (I am sure immoral if not just plain embarassing) factoid, I have been known to check the size of other people's pants...don't leave me alone in your room if you do not want me to know your size...I suppose my rationale is if you are a size "x" and I am a size "x" then I am not fat if you do not look fat...crazy! I have no idea why my font is sudden;y huge or how to fix it! Ugh!

OK, font was only big in my box not when posted. Stil do not know why but at least I am only one who saw.

I've lost about 65 pounds at this point (from 235 to just under 170 now). I thought that when I hit 170, that would be a pretty good weight for me. But now that I"m there, I still see that I have so much to lose. Now my goal is to get to 160 by my wedding in 3 months, but I'm thinking that I might even want to go to 150. I guess I never thought I was capable of that, but now that I'm closer, I think I can! I still see myself as big and as the fat girl. But that's all I've ever known my entire life. No matter how small I get, I will always have the fat girl mentality. But I do notice the biggest difference when I have clothes on and I don't see the big fat rolls on my stomach and my legs actually look somewhat thin sometimes!

This is a great thread. I thought that I was the only one out there who, after losing weight after being overweight for most of my life, will sometimes think wow, look what I've done! And other times think that I'm a cow. We've all been disillusioned by the "invisible" Beauty Myth that rules our consumer-driven world. I swear, if so many of us feel like this, there has to be some name or disorder for it. You know?

I've lost just over 40 lbs, and still see the same fat girl in the mirror that I saw at 203 lbs when I started on CC a year ago, and yet the same fat girl that hit 226 lbs after college... I know I'm smaller, i'm fitting into smaller sizes.  God forbid though that I have to see myself naked in a mirror *shudder*.  I hate the way I look, and I'm pretty convinced I won't be happy when I reach my (first) goal in 14 lbs... Too bad there isn't "reality therapy" for people who have lost a significant amount of weight!

It depends on the day, the time of day, my mood, the phase of the moon, you name it. Some days I go "Dude, look at me!" and I feel great. Sometimes I'm just as sure that I'm just as big as I was 64 pounds ago.

I can't quite wrap my head around the difference. I think it's exacerbated by the fact that I have a lot of loose skin because I haven't weighed this little in over 20 years.