alone....

i joined CC because i feel alone in my weight loss struggle and would like support from people doing the same thing!

i think about eating all the time and lately have been thinking about NOT eating...but all the time. my family does not eat healthy. we are all big. and overeating and drinking alcohol is encouraged. my boyfriend eats badly and drinks high calorie beers all the time (and i only see him on the weekend so i tend to screw up my good habits when i am with him). i have tried to lose weight before, by cooking healthy with my boyfriend and trying to check in with my sister (who lost a significant amount of weigh is the past but has gained some back so she is trying to lose - she is a big binger) but i always end up saying screw it! and eating/drinking what i want after a few days or weeks

it is tough because i still live at home and there is soooo much junk food there. and it is nice to eat with the family but i try not to because they dont eat healthy.  i find excuses not to work out all the time, especially on the weekends.

i think my main problem is drinking. my tolerence is really high so when i drink to get buzzed, i drink A LOT. but i feel like drinking one drink is pointless so i would rather not.

there is just peer pressure from my family, friends and other social situations to drink and eat eat eat. and it's worse when people will look at you like you have two heads when you dont want a drink!! (cause i am known as a big drinker to people i know - i have consumed more calories a day in alcohol alone than CC has told me to eat total! but in my defense these are party days). i certainly dont want to substitute food with alcohol either

i guess i just dont want to be or be perceived as different once my healthy lifestyle starts showing on me.  when my sister lost weight she was very negative to people that ate greasy food and stuff, and in turn people acted like she was nuts and complained when she took a while to order at a restaurant - which i dont think is right.

SOOO i am on CC to get support from people experiencing the same journey as me. i hate telling people i am on a diet and then having them see me not follow through. but i can tell you guys!

CC thinks i should weigh 167 (i currently weigh 200 at 5'10") but i think 180 is a more reasonable goal for me now. i havent weighed 167 since i was 18 (i am 28 now)

my current goal is to weigh 180 by 4/21/2010 (my birthday!!). is that reasonable? thoughts on my current situation with obstacles?

thanks

well it sounds to me that u kno what your problems are.. at least that half of the battle.. now all you have to to is change..and screw what people think about you being on a diet.. you need to worry and focus and get healthy for YOU.. not THEM

thanks! that is good to hear. i feel like so much of it is boredom too. i get home from work and get bored and want to eat!! trying to change that though. healthy is goooood

You are an adult so you have to decide if you "peer pressure" is something that should still effect you or not. You don't have to tell them you are trying to loose weight or be more healthy, just politely say no to drinks. If asked why keep it simple "I don't feel like it". Learn from your sisters example, don't comment on other people eating habits, or lecture them about "healthy" foods. Just do your own thing, and try not to make a big deal out of it. For example lets take this hypothetical example. You chose a salad without dressing on a side instead of fries, and someone asked why:

Potential wrong reply: "Salad is so much healthier, fries are full of fat and lead to obesity and are not good for your health."

Better reply: "I wanted to try something new" or "I discovered I like salads".

If someone asks why no dressing. "I didn't feel like it".

UD

Welcome to CC! I think that 180 is a completely reasonable goal by April!

I will tell you that this website has helped me a lot. It's very comforting and supportive to know that other people are all experiencing the same trials and triumphs. Just keep it up, and use this as a means to keep you motivated and overcome feelings of discourage.

Good luck on your journey and feel free to add me as a friend!

thanks umneydurak!

i think doing my own thing is defenitely the way to go.

i hate when people assume someone is on a diet cause they order salad. i love salad!! i wish people would just mind their own business in situations like that, but since they dont i will heed your advice.

my sister is bad with the judgement on other people's eating, and then she will go and eat an entire cake (no exaggeration!! this has happened several times). but i need to focus on me and not other people.

thanks again

Hey tree,

I feel your pain!  I struggle with similar problems.  My husband is a huge drinker, and I was too for the longest time.  It's been really hard to turn myself around and not join him in glass after glass of wine every night!  My younger sister also became legal recently, so that's even more pressure to drink!

He also likes his junk, and while I do encourage him to eat healthier (and sometimes he listens), I also don't think it's fair to make him give up the junk just because I'm trying to avoid it.  I have to try hard not to help myself to it.  One thing that has helped is thinking of it as HIS food, and convincing myself I don't have a right to eat it (he would gladly share anything with me, but it's a mental game I play with myself). 

Most people I love aren't negative towards me, they just don't realize the work I have to put into a healthier lifestyle.  I don't think they quite realize how unhealthy THEY are, honestly.

Sometimes people will think you've become holier-than-thou even if you don't act that way, so I wouldn't worry too much about their opinion if I were you.  I just mind my own business and if someone asks why I'm eating a certain food, I'll tell them.  Otherwise, I don't comment on anyone else's food and I don't preach about mine.

I think you'll find a lot of support here, so when you don't get it from your bf or family, just log onto CC.  You'll almost always find someone that knows what you are going through.

Good luck with your goals!

thanks amspano1

this is only my second day on this website. but yesterday i didnt eat over my calories for the day!

it is really encouraging to be here.

i think i successfully added you as a friend. thanks.

brtyalor

good for you! it does sound like we have similar situations. my boyfriend drinks like 4 hefty beers a day - more on the weekend and eats whatever he wants....

and to top it off, he eats 3 times a day and i am more of the small six meals type. so it is tough.

i think minding my own business will be a biggie. currently i vocalize all my food struggles, which causes my sister to say things like "should you be eating that?" and i know she is trying to help me but it just makes me want to punch her in the face! (it helps a little cause i feel fat and get mad and walk away LOL)

Your not alone and I think it's great that you joined this site, I'm sure you'll find tons of support. I also think about eating all the time, I'm working to change that. Good Luck!

thanks distorted_conversion!

You are not alone and your goal is more than manageable. I am 5'11 and started on August 22, 2009 at 200lbs - today I weighed in at 180.5.

My BF (who I live with) has a huge appetitite and loves to drink too. Before I would think nothing of having 3-4 beers with him at night or if it was the weekend a few more...plus the chips that were always there were just so yummy.

Then I made the decision that I wasn't going to look like I did - I wasn't happy with any part of my body and said enough is enough. I started using CC to ensure that I was eating healthy and went from there.

As far as peer pressure to drink - I do understand...it can be hard to drink water when everyone else is having a beer. Why not have a beer, then rinse the bottle/can out really well and refill with water? No one would be any the wiser. I bring my water bottle with me when I'm at parties and have 1 beer, one large bottle of water, 1 beer, etc... When you are making the adjustment to a healthier lifestyle it isn't easy to deal with the questions from people about "why" and "how much".

I am lucky that my BF understands what I am doing so he is much more conscious of what he cooks and what goes into it - I truly appreciate that. But we still have the chips, ice cream and other junk in the house. This takes will power but in 2 months, I haven't broken down and binged yet.

Decide what food you want, and make your own meals. There are really tasty healthy recipes out there...maybe your BF and family will start eating better when they see/smell the yummy meals you are eating. Or invest in a food scale so you can weigh the food that is prepared by your family - that way you can ensure that you aren't over eating and make up difference with lots of healthy snacks - fruit, veggies, etc.

Good luck - you can do it...be strong and remember it only matters what YOU think not what absolutely anyone else does.

Edit - deleted as I double posted - sorry

Hi!

First off, we had almost the same stats- I'm 5' 10 and at my highest I was 210ish. I now am maintaining at 165 and am super comfortable here! Of course I'd like to lose 10 more, but isn't that always the case.

I've maintained at 165 for 1.5 years now! I joined CC about 2.5 years ago.

OK, next off- I know how it goes since I am also a drinker. I should note that I did not stop drinking during my weight loss. But- I toned it down a bit. For the first month, I stopped drinking except on the weekends. I switched to light beer, wine spritzers, or vodka-soda-splash of limes. When I stopped drinking as often, my tolerance went down, so then I was able to not consume so many calories each time I went out. That has really stuck with me. Just last night I went out with some friends, and I only had 3 drinks, and was perfectly happy.I know that may sound like a lot to some people- but I used to drink substantially more on a night out.

The other thing I can relate to you is the boyfriend situation. While mine isn't overweight, he eats junk food and drinks high calorie beers like there is no tomorrow. At first when I started to lose weight, we had a talk and I got his support. This is very important! Once I had his support, it was easier. He would only buy light beer, he wouldn't buy junk food (or at least in sight of me!), and he agreed to eat healthier dinners with me. Also, he would help out by eating more of whatever it was we were eating, so I would have a smaller portion and be less tempted. That sounds funny but he enjoyed it! Like the person above me, he still keeps ice cream and chips in the house but I have trained myself to ignore them. It's amazing what willpower can do!

Finally- good luck, you've got it in you, because if I can do it anyone can!

thanks everyone! it is also good to hear from people around the samee size as me (or were) there is hope!!

with the bf thing i am almost embarrassed to talk to him about it as i have tried several times to lose weight and told him and then failed. it's almost like he likes it better when i just consume what he does??? i dunno

water does make me really full so switching between beer and water is a good move.

i feel like i will stick to it this time.

and it so true that it only matters what i think. cause all day long i can say "im fat, im fat, im fat" and obviously no one is going to agree with me. but that is a pointless thing to say if i am not going to do anything about it.

plus being healthy is more important than being skinny

You don't have to tell you BF that you are going to lose weight - all you have to say is that you are interested in a healthier lifestyle and you would like his support in doing so. He doesn't have to change, but you are going to. If he doesn't support that, then... well... I leave that to you. If you change a few things, you will lose weight - but it doesn't have to be about that - just be healthy.

My BF is extremely supportive - I am a very lucky woman. He encourages my time to exercise, eats the food I make from my Cooking Light magazines, makes sure that I do eat enough (I sometimes have trouble getting to my min calorie number) and cuts up my cantaloupes and honeydews for me (I really hate doing that). Even with all that, he isn't keen on doing his own exercise or eating the significant amounts of fruits and veggies that are now in our house. However, he is 100% behind me and that is enough.

BTW - I was a bit embarrassed to talk to him too. Who wants to admit their "fattness" to a boy? But I kind of figured he already knew ;).

Good-luck, it can be done... if you want it, be strong. Those 20 pounds make such a difference :) 

Dancingpanda that's great! Our BFs sound similar! Although mine will eat my cooking light stuff, he isn't very good at pretending he enjoys eating kale...

I was also embarrassed when we first had the weight talk. But telling him made me feel more accountable and determined to stick with the plan. Also once you show him you are sticking with it this time, he will probably realize he needs to be supportive. Also during the talk, definitely let it be known you are SERIOUS and really need his help this time.

One last thing- it feels so amazing to be a normal healthy weight that it is worth all of the pain and suffering involved with light beer, dodging other people's sabotage efforts, and quitting the junk!

i bet it is worth it!!

yes i will defenitely have to talk with him. i dont cook at all, and he loooooves cooking. he is one of those people that takes over even while i am cooking...but i guess in his defense everything i have ever made for us has been gross.

i think he sees cooking for me as a way to show me he loves me. he is a really good cook but not really a healthy one. he likes fried bologna sandwiches and chili dog casseroles :| - LOL

but he is aware that i eat less than him and tend to choose healthier options regularly - it's when i drink that all my inhibitions go out the door!! so maybe cutting back drinking will be doubly good for me.

i miss the flat stomach!! and to think...when i weighed 165 i thought i was fat. how horrible.