Andrew (Anorexia) is back.

If you are eaily triggered or recovering from anorexia please don't read on unless you are recovered.

Today as I was **** up at my piano lesson the a voice inside my head suddenly went off that said fat as*es can't do anything right. I didn't notice it and kinda brushed it off. Then this girl that I can really care about texted me and told me that I don't love her. (Lately a lot of drama has been happening between us.) Then the voice was there again saying fatties don't deserve love. And then I knew. Its there again. I thought I was done with this. He's always been there as guilt when I ate food but I could brush it off and ignore. Now hes back and not nearly as strong as before but he might be again. I'm already telling all my closest friends except that girl to set up a support system, but I'm scared and I need help.

We all have thoughts running through our heads all day long... whether we have eating disorders or not.  And the beauty of being an intelligent, civilised human-being is that we have a choice as to how we respond.   Remember when Tom and Jerry get a little red devil on one shoulder and a little white angel on the other?

There's the "little devil voice" that tells us to strangle the surly, spotty shopworker for treating us like an idiot .... but we resist because we know that a life-sentence would probably spoil our afternoon.    There's another one telling us it'd be fun to drive way over the speed-limit ..... but we ignore that one too because we'd prefer not to pay a fine

When negative thoughts strike... swat them away with positive thoughts and focus on 'doing the right thing'.  Realistically... you didn't play the piano badly because of your body-shape ....  you probably just haven't practiced enough recently.   Positive solution... "I'm going to practice more".   The girl that says you don't love her (or does she not love you?).... that's nothing to do with your body-shape either and everything to do with silly immature girls messing with your head via text.  (It's what they do best...)   Positive solution... "I'm going to get out there & spend time with people I really do like and who make me feel good". 

The biggest support you can give is to yourself.  So keep telling yourself how fantastic you are and soon you'll start to believe it. Good luck

I always tell myself to not get triggered by anything.

Be yourself. No one has the right to control your life! So what if the voice in your head thinks that you're unable play the piano? I bet you can do it better than him. Fat or not, we're all humans. We deserve to be happy, to be cherished and to be loved.

If this voice returns, tell him firmly to buzz off. We're all here for you.

Thanks, I needed that my life has been chaos this week. Just trying to avoid the old habits.