I am ANGRY & need HELP!

My sister started with ED 10+ years ago.  I just found out recently after it started up again.  She has been in & out of the hospital several times over the past six months because her body is starting to fail.  I have tried to understand and treat her like usual (that is what she wanted), but she is in the hospital again, lost her job and is about to lose her husband.  I am at the point of angry and need advice!!!

I hate to say it, but there is not much you can do. A person recovers from an eating disorder only when they make the choice to. It is a very difficult thing to deal with, and it can be very stressful.

If you are treating her the way she wants, that is the best thing you can do. Although I'm glad that she has a sister that cares for her so much, I don't think blaming yourself or getting angry is the best way to deal with the situation. She is the only one who can fight the ED. I hope she gets better and can find her way to happiness. In the mean time, focus on the things in your life that make you happy. Good luck.

Thank you.  It is just hard not getting angry at this point.  I've tried every other emotion with her.  I just don't understand.!    

I personally have gone through an eating disorder, and the last thing a person with an eating disorder needs is someone being angry with them d telling them what to do. Doing that will only make them keep doing it even more. They want to be able to control what they eat, so if someone tries to change that they will do everything in their power to stop that person from trying to control them. What you need to do is help her find the right support. Look for local psychologists and psychiatrists that specialize in EDs. You may not be able to support her because you dont understand her actions and her emotions. But finding the right help will make the difference. Good luck

Aw I'm sorry.  I've never gone through an ED or known anyone well who has, but I will pray for you and your sister.

My ex is an alcoholic, and the problems have some similarity. The hardest thing you will have to accept is that she is not you, and that you have nothing to do with it.  You can support her, love her, and be there for her if you want, but you can't change her, control her, or do anything to help her until she is ready to help herself.  I know this is hard to hear, because I tried to "help" an alcoholic for 5+ years, and nothing ever comes of it.  Sadly, both diseases are deadly, but then again, there is nothing you can do about it.  I wish I could be of more help to you. 

Hi :) Ive had an eating disorder since i was 15 thats over 4 years now, I can honestly say that recovery is generally a process which strips you of energy. Whilst most individuals can eat normally an anorexic has to plan thats all ive done for the last 4 years is strutinise the things i put into my mouth and feel guilty about what i ate whether it was a apple or a slice of bread.

All i can say is be there for, hug her and try not to get mad eating disorders are frusterating enough without anyone shouting at you. My lowest part was when my dad broke down and i caught him crying his heard out downstairs one night.. That broke my heart. The other thing that breaks my heart is when he blames himself for my disorder. Try to help her push through with recovery it really is a long process and never mention weight or negetivity towards body image. Especially if she gains a little weight if she decides to recover because the last thing she was to hear is "Ohh you gained weight you look so healthy" I heard that once when i was recovering and within 2 weeks id dropped what id gained.

Keep pushing on and let your sister know that you believe in here no matter how frusterating it may be, If you ever need to talk just message me. *big hugs*

Along with feeling angry, you must be a little scared, as well?

I notice, especially with my kids, that anger comes more easily than sitting with "scared." Eating disorders are frightening and frustrating, and it must be so hard to be a family member/loved one.

I hope that you can find support for yourself during this stressful time. Your sister is lucky that you care, and you must care a lot or you wouldn't have posted. From what I understand, there are certain points where the person with the disease can't really see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Your sister may be so sick right now that nothing you or anyone says or does -- or any negative consequences (husband leaving) that occur -- will affect much. It's hard, but try not to take it personally.

If she can get enough out of the cycle of starvation or whatever behavior is causing her health to fail, she may have enough clarity and motivation to try again at getting better. I'm sure she would be grateful if you were still there to support her, but that is your boundary to decide. She may feel a lot of regret for her choices later. I hope that she gets the chance to work it all out and that you get some semblance of your sister back. Be sure to take care of yourself through all of this. God bless.