Annoying ...

So this is just kind of me venting but it has to be said!! ...

Does anyone else find it SUPER annoying when women on here who are AT their ideal weight or lower use this website as a means of reassuring themselves that they are skinnier & better than everyone else by posting their measurements every 3 days and whining about "only having a 24-inch waist" or "feeling fat at 110lbs" etc etc?

If they feel so fat then why are they the same women who also make a point of posting pictures of themselves in bikinis / standing in front of a mirror / in revealing clothing looking NOT EVEN CLOSE to anywhere near needing to lose ANY weight / tone up?... most, in my opinion could stand  to gain about 5- 10lbs to look normal. Seriously, no one likes a bone-bag.

I understand a lot of women on here have had / are suffering from ED, and that sucks for them but there are also those of us on here who suffer from self-confidence issues and are simply trying to get down to a weight that is HEALTHY and beautiful FOR THEM... and NOT to obsess over the fact that they do or do not weigh >110lbs..

I know I really try not to pay attention to their insessant posts & responses to posts that are really just lame attempts at one-upping others or seeking validation that they are thin and fit and, in their own way, ahead of the rest of the game. I think subconsciously a lot of them just use this website so that they can see how much thinner / better they (in their own heads) look than the rest of us who are NORMAL or striving to achieve a HEALTHY weight.

 

BOTTOM LINE: Everyone is different, some of us are thin, some of us are fat, some of us are stuck somewhere in between. The one thing we all have in common is the need to feel beautiful & the desire to lose a few pounds or many.. My point is that those of us "normal ladies" who are trying hard to lose weight and struggle with body image can become very discouraged by those women on here who have no real need to be, and insist on reminding us every day that they think they are "better" than everyone else just because they succeed at NEVER cheating / following a VERY rigid low cal diet / rigorous exercise regime in order to maintain a ridiculously low weight... this is not the place to encourage this kind of all or nothing mentality. It could seriously drive a person to become anorexic!! Perhaps for these individuals (whom I feel very sorry for) some therapy would be more useful at overcoming what is obviously an OBSESSION and a medical condition stemming from EXTREMELY low self-esteem and other issues...

 

 

I agree.


I never thought bad about it but now that you have pointed it out i have seen it alot.


Im male i dont mind the pics =] theres no reason for them to be here though.We all have had are struggles and being a pound or 2 over weight is no struggle.


When i started i was about 100 pounds over and have lost 66 pounds now thats a struggle.

I agree. I don't like when people fish for compliments and/or post their measurements just to make themselves feel better.

On another note though, you have an insanely great figure and you don't need to lose a pound! I'm not sure if you're on here trying to lose weight, but seriously, don't. You're gorgeous! :)

Happiness is relative. It's a simple process: "I am __________, but not _________ like I want to be". It could be "I am obese, but not average like I want to be" or "I am average, but not fit like I want to be", or even "I am almost perfect, but not perfect like I want to be". A very obese person may think you have no reason to be struggling with body image, and with exactly the same reasoning that you have.

Point is, it doesn't matter where you are, if you want to get somewhere and feel like you're working hard to get there, it will be frustrating if you aren't seeing progress. It doesn't matter if their opinions don't have as much merit as a heavier person's opinions might. You're not going to change how people feel. You have your goals, they have theirs, and everyone's goals come with their own frustrations. That's just the way things are, and at any rate it's just better to stay focused on your own goals rather than compare yourself to other people.

And if they're behaving in a way that you don't think is productive, telling them that isn't going to change the way they act. It's pointless, just worry about your own goals and do what you need to do.

What's with all the skinny bashing!
This site isn't strictly for people who are overweight.

Some people are in the healthy weight range and want to get healthier and improve their bodies. What's wrong with that?

Well you just validated that you think they are superior.
Honestly i think a person can 'feel' miserable and fat even at 110 pounds or whatever weight.  I do not think a person is 'feeling fat' or saying they do to make someone they don't even know feel worse.
Come on thats being a bit self centered to think someones comments are directed at you. 
If you feel as if you may be triggered towards an eating disorder due to miscellaneous comments on a diet forum, maybe you shouldn't be reading them.  Maybe you'd be better suited working with a nutritionist to lose your weight.  In life though we are all going to hear comments we don't care for at least on the internet you can choose not to read them!

ETA: and you seem of normal weight 134 or something, so to someone obese they may think your trying to feel superior.

Original Post by unhappygirl17:

So this is just kind of me venting but it has to be said!! ...

Does anyone else find it SUPER annoying when women on here who are AT their ideal weight or lower use this website as a means of reassuring themselves that they are skinnier & better than everyone else by posting their measurements every 3 days and whining about "only having a 24-inch waist" or "feeling fat at 110lbs" etc etc?

If they feel so fat then why are they the same women who also make a point of posting pictures of themselves in bikinis / standing in front of a mirror / in revealing clothing looking NOT EVEN CLOSE to anywhere near needing to lose ANY weight / tone up?...

Um. I just wanted to say that your bikini pix look awesome. Seriously, you look fantastic and have a slammin body.

But I also noticed in your journal that you complain about feeling fat and that you think your boyfriend probably thinks you're disgusting. You also post your stats. So how are you any different than the girls you are calling annoying?

Just saying...

I seriously just had the overwhelming urge to post pics of myself in a bikini. Be afraid : )

If only I owned one...

the only thing that bothers me about those pictures is that it's usually very young women/girls who post them, and i'm afraid the pictures are going to end up being sold on some kiddie porn site.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

the only thing that bothers me about those pictures is that it's usually very young women/girls who post them, and i'm afraid the pictures are going to end up being sold on some kiddie porn site.

 i agree.  its usually teen age girls and it really freaks me out that they think its okay to put their bodies on the internet like that. 

You're too funny! I won't lie to you it annoys me A LOT TOO even though I am at my ideal weight! The reason I am on this website is because I love helping others achieve their weight loss goals and I am completely obsessed with nutrition and exercise so I want to put my knowledge to good use! Yes, I do have pictures of myself in my profile but I only post those so people can realize that what I am "preaching" actually works!

 

Original Post by ibez:

Happiness is relative. It's a simple process: "I am __________, but not _________ like I want to be". It could be "I am obese, but not average like I want to be" or "I am average, but not fit like I want to be", or even "I am almost perfect, but not perfect like I want to be". A very obese person may think you have no reason to be struggling with body image, and with exactly the same reasoning that you have.

Point is, it doesn't matter where you are, if you want to get somewhere and feel like you're working hard to get there, it will be frustrating if you aren't seeing progress. It doesn't matter if their opinions don't have as much merit as a heavier person's opinions might. You're not going to change how people feel. You have your goals, they have theirs, and everyone's goals come with their own frustrations. That's just the way things are, and at any rate it's just better to stay focused on your own goals rather than compare yourself to other people.

And if they're behaving in a way that you don't think is productive, telling them that isn't going to change the way they act. It's pointless, just worry about your own goals and do what you need to do.

 Very true, Ibez. You raise a valid point. I apologize to anyone this post has offended.. I myself, as a few of you pointed out, am not fat; in fact some might call me skinny... and yet, hypocritically, I feel I have far to go. Just as someone who is thin might feel they too need to lose 5lbs, tone up, etc. I guess in the heat of the moment (after reading some very thin girls self-involved journal entries) I became angry and posted this in anger. I guess part of me is the same as they are: a bit narcassistic and vain. I sometimes obsess over my figure too... I suffer from depression and sometimes I can be very negative.. haha I see some of you have read my journal! hahah ... I find it funny & ironic that I have actually revealed that I sometimes do what I have criticized so harshly in this post. What a realization... thanks to those who have helped me see it, however bluntly (sfredbull, phimegaphi)  Sorry for picking on those of you who are very thin.. I guess you are just an easy target for pointing out behaviors A LOT of us (dare I say ALL) practice whether we realize it or not.. at least I have sparked an interesting discussion. Everyone who has posted so far has voiced an interesting point of view.. Again, apologies to those who I may have offended. Society and a number of other factors have encouraged us to feel this way.. it is very sad. I hope everyone on here gets where they want to be someday :)

Cheers!

Hey unhappygirl, don't apologize, I have to agree with your rant.  There are so many times when I think I should find somewhere else to go.  I find some of the people on this site incredibly insensitive to the people who are here to lose a lot of weight (or gain a lot).  There are people on here who are so desperately unhappy, who can't see a way past their problems, that it's scary.  And then you've got some doorknob telling them to suck it up, and giving their normal body stats?  I'm sorry, but if you can't say something nice and helpful, keep your fat mouth shut.  Don't make it worse for those who need the help of their peers.  If you don't have a serious problem with your weight, meaning if you only have a few pounds to lose, then you have NO IDEA what some of these people are going through, and in that case, the world revolves around them, NOT YOU!

Oh, and before anyone gets offended, the "you" in my comment was general, not personal.

Original Post by rosieblue:

Hey unhappygirl, don't apologize, I have to agree with your rant.  There are so many times when I think I should find somewhere else to go.  I find some of the people on this site incredibly insensitive to the people who are here to lose a lot of weight (or gain a lot).  There are people on here who are so desperately unhappy, who can't see a way past their problems, that it's scary.  And then you've got some doorknob telling them to suck it up, and giving their normal body stats?  I'm sorry, but if you can't say something nice and helpful, keep your fat mouth shut.  Don't make it worse for those who need the help of their peers.  If you don't have a serious problem with your weight, meaning if you only have a few pounds to lose, then you have NO IDEA what some of these people are going through, and in that case, the world revolves around them, NOT YOU!

I'm not disagreeing with you, but I just want to point out that often those who appear to have it all together really don't. I am a prime example. I'm at a healthy weight, I'm an overachiever, I attend a prestigious university, but I am very unhappy with myself. I know it's not good and I'm working on it, but I just don't want you to assume that those who are at a healthy weight don't struggle with the same exact problems as overweight or underweight people do. You have NO IDEA what I'm going through. Regardless of weight, we all have life struggles.

Original Post by giasbash6260:

You're too funny! I won't lie to you it annoys me A LOT TOO even though I am at my ideal weight! The reason I am on this website is because I love helping others achieve their weight loss goals and I am completely obsessed with nutrition and exercise so I want to put my knowledge to good use! Yes, I do have pictures of myself in my profile but I only post those so people can realize that what I am "preaching" actually works!

 

Yes, Giabash: engaging in compulsive exercise and extreme dietary restriction and undereating DOES "work" to make you unhealthily thin.  Thank you for the sermon.

jcl76

To quote you:  "I am a prime example. I'm at a healthy weight, I'm an overachiever, I attend a prestigious university, but I am very unhappy with myself."

I have to agree, you are a prime example.  I understand you have life problems that make you unhappy.  Everyone I know has stuff in their life that causes them unhappiness.  I also understand that you are a triathelete who is training for the Marine Corps marathon.  My problem is that this is a forum on a website called Calorie Count.  As such, there are people on here who's life problems may include struggling with an eating disorder, or trying to lose over a hundred pounds.  People who have a hard time walking up a flight of stairs.  To me, visiting this site (Calorie Count - remember?), they are the ones we need to have empathy for, not you.

hey rosieblue,

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I want empathy. You're right - this is a dieting website. I didn't mean to sound like I was disagreeing with you either...sorry if I did! It's hard to convey tone via internet sometimes.

Must every topic be a flame-fest?

laura: while my opinion giasbash's diet is quite healthy, diverse, and means more to her than a calorie number. Agree with it or not, I have never read a post or message from her that was anything but helpful and supportive. This one included. Maybe this isn't the place to complain about her lifestyle?

jcl: valid point, bad place to voice it.

Yes, everyone has struggles. Yes, the poster is thin. The poster also didn't mention that in this post. Nor did she include a bikini pic in the post. And no matter what her weight, it is an annoyance for some on this board. No one struggling with weight wants to see people slimmer than them talk about how fat they feel. And it's not 'I know I'm healthy but I feel fat, help with my self esteem' posts that I gather the annoyance is about. It's 'I know the BMI chart says I'm fine but I'm still losing weight because I look like a hippo' posts. The forums are to vent, recieve support, and have a community that supports health. Honestly, I'm amazed at how diificult it is to find other obese people on the weight loss forums.

Overall, it is the OP's annoyance, and her body doesn't invalidate it. And she's not the only person who agrees.

Lastly, agree or disagree with the poster, but there's no need to be rude.

Well said Ibez! I also think that regardless of what peoples' goals are, how ever big or small, they matter and are valid, cos they matter a lot to that individual, who like the rest of us are just striving to be happy or happier with who they are.

 I agree that some people appear thoughtless and lack diplomacy and sensitivity to others issues and goals, but you have to ask yourself if they are actually doing this deliberately or is it more ignorance because often we can get so consumed with ourselves we fail to notice the ill effect our words and behaviours may have on others?  Stay positive and don't buy into other peoples negative comments. It just brings you down to the same level.  

And when you're on a site meant to be all about giving and getting support, respect is the key IMO, or you might just find yourself out on a limb.

NB: this last bit is not directed at you unhappy girl. I think it admirable you being honest and admiting you may have been wrong (at least in the way you went about the original posting), I'm just putting it out there!

Original Post by minda_spk:

Must every topic be a flame-fest?

laura: while my opinion giasbash's diet is quite healthy, diverse, and means more to her than a calorie number. Agree with it or not, I have never read a post or message from her that was anything but helpful and supportive. This one included. Maybe this isn't the place to complain about her lifestyle?

jcl: valid point, bad place to voice it.

Yes, everyone has struggles. Yes, the poster is thin. The poster also didn't mention that in this post. Nor did she include a bikini pic in the post. And no matter what her weight, it is an annoyance for some on this board. No one struggling with weight wants to see people slimmer than them talk about how fat they feel. And it's not 'I know I'm healthy but I feel fat, help with my self esteem' posts that I gather the annoyance is about. It's 'I know the BMI chart says I'm fine but I'm still losing weight because I look like a hippo' posts. The forums are to vent, recieve support, and have a community that supports health. Honestly, I'm amazed at how diificult it is to find other obese people on the weight loss forums.

Overall, it is the OP's annoyance, and her body doesn't invalidate it. And she's not the only person who agrees.

Lastly, agree or disagree with the poster, but there's no need to be rude.

thanks for your thoughts on this.  i wasn't complaining.  i just think it's an incredible tragedy that she displays such clear markings of serious problems with eating and weight control and receives encouragement from people on this site for doing so.  she has repeatedly noted that she engages in two or more hours of exercise daily, has cut entire food groups out of her diet and eats a restrictive number of calories for her activity level.  is the kinder thing to encourage her behaviors, thank her for her suggestions, and otherwise condone her behaviors?  it's one thing to struggle with these issues.  that's human.  it's another thing to wear your struggle like a remedy and suggest that your unhealthy lifestyle is a model to follow.  this upsets me greatly, because then not only is she harming herself; she threatens to harm others as well.