Annoying gym guy rant

Oh, Annoying Gym Guy how I wish that I could help you! But to do so would represent a major breach of social etiquette, so instead I am forced to complain about you in a more appropriate forum. Let's begin Annoying Gym Guy w/ your workout. Why is it that you must use the elliptical in such an inappropriate manner? The correct posture while on the machine is to stand as upright as possible, while lightly grasping the rails for balance should you need to. Why must you lean forward and backward on the machine whilst pedaling at a speed that causes the machine to make this annoying banging sound that all of us around you can hear over our music? Do you see anyone else using the equipment in this manner? No, of course you don't because there is no SANE reason to pedal hard enough that the machine takes flight and sails out the window in front of you. Have you ever considered turning the resistance up and raising your heart rate in a more graceful fashion? And Annoying Gym Guy, how is it that you can sweat so much that you are soaking the machine and the the area around you but you do not see the need to use the disinfectant on the machine when you are finished? It is common courtesy to remove your bodily fluids from the machine prior to the next member's turn.

Next, Annoying Gym Guy, we must discuss your attire. Is there a reason that you wear a tank top that it so cut so low on the sides that we all can view your shaking, jiggly lats and spare tire? Is it necessary to share that with the world? You do not see me baring my stretched out post pregnancy belly button at the gym or anywhere, do you? No, you do not, because no one wants to look at it. On that same note, is there a reason that you must share your extremely hairy back and shoulders with us? Now, I know that you cannot help your genetics and many a man has hair sprouting from every orifice. My husband can relate to you in that way. However, Annoying Gym Guy there is this lovely invention called Nair (should you not wish to endure the pain of waxing). This magical product can be purchased for a few dollars at your local Walmart, Walgreens or Target store. Please do us all a favor and buy some and use it. While you are at the store can you PLEASE also purchase some deodorant? I assure you they come in many affordable varieties and pleasant fragrances. It is unkind of you to share your B.O. with us every time you are at the gym and we would appreciate it if you would stop. Also, Annoying Gym Guy, did no one send you a memo about the fact that thick gold necklaces on hairy white men went out long, long ago....sometime during your childhood and mine.

Annoying Gym Guy, I do feel sorry for you because I know that you do not wish to make a fool of yourself. But, the look of sheer misery on your face could be avoided if only you would realize that you do not need to do 2+ hours of cardio every single day. If you would just pick up a weight or two you might actually see some changes in that fat layer around your midsection. It pains me to watch you every time I am at the gym for I know that everyone is staring at you w/ the same look of horror that I have on my face. Please Annoying Gym Guy take a look around you and take notice of the fact that no one at the gym looks like you, dresses like you, or uses the equipment like you. If you could just see what we see I know you would realize the error of your ways.

LMAO....thanks kashicat.

Hey, is that the same guy that, when he does start to lift weights - makes sure to leave a big pool of sweat on the bench, with nary a thought or concern about wiping it down?

Might it be the same guy that consistently refuses to unload their plates off of any bar or machine they might be using?

Could it be the same guy that believes that egregious flatulence during a set of heavy lifts is as perfectly acceptable as loud grunts and other sundry noises?

Maybe it's the same guy who insists on doing stretching exercises in front of unsuspecting victims, "commando" style?

Yep - I know that guy.

Stay safe,

Rb

I think I know this guy - when using machines, this guy first puts down a towel, which would be considerate of him, if the towel weren't already sweat-drenched and soggy. I fear that towel.  He then wipes down the machine... with that towel. Is that the guy?

When he does situps, does he go from touching his feet to barely 90 degrees (sitting up), and then forward again? Nothing between sitting straight up and lying down? I wish I could understand how that helps.

I hope that some day, Annoying Gym Guy will change his ways. But I won't hold my breath. Unless he is on the elliptical next to me.

I have a different Annoying Gym Guy at my local workout hub. My AGG likes to do nothing but sit on the weight lifting machines pretending like he is cool and buff but instead makes me mad because I need to actually use that machine. And then, if I sit down at the machine next to him, he immediately starts moving so as not to be outdone by a girl.

This is the same AGG that scoffs at me if I so much as LOOK at the free weights. Jerk...

FANTASTIC POST. Thank you.

The AGG that I deal with, unfortunately too frequently, spends 90% of every workout monopolizing any and all upper body equipment so that he has big, bulky and unproportioned arms and these little tiny skinny legs that look as if I could break them. Which is fine if that is how he wants to look. The problem is that he acts as he he has the rights to any of the limited number of cardio machines we have (during the 10% of his workout in which he might actually consider working on his lower body) and if you DO happen to be using something he wants he'll stand right in front of you and practically stare you down until you feel inclined to get off.  But the biggest thing with this loser is that I swear he doesn't wash his gym clothes. The minute he starts to work up a sweat you can smell him from across the room.  

I should give him an euro or two so he can buy a clue. Or a good laundry detergent.

I never hung out in the weight room long enough to be bothered by AGG.  We had old people that hung out in the pools and sauna rooms.  They'd pace back and forth between swimming some laps and sitting in the saunas.  The thing I hated about some of them was that they blow their snot whereever.  Gross.  I hate even thinking about them.   Not too ironic that that old gym converted into a fitness center for old people. 

I workout outside at the park, so I don't have any Annoying Gym People. 

Original Post by richardbird:

 

Might it be the same guy that consistently refuses to unload their plates off of any bar or machine they might be using?

If I could rid the world of every a-hole that leaves their crap all over the gym, this world would be a much better place. Die, leave plates on the bar guy. Die.

HAAAAA! O MAN, that was too much!

is it me, or is it not common sense to do your cardio at the end of your workout? you wipe down your machine then hit the shower. no harm no foul, right? i see ppl doin like an hour or so of cardio first then they completely drench the weight area right after. i just dont get it.

Sounds like you're a member of my old gym. There was a fella who matched your description to a tee. Though, to add insult to injury, this guy also smelt of garlic. He must've eaten entire bulbs of the stuff for breakfast because by the time he got to the gym in the evening, the stench was seeping from every pore on his body. Ech.

I've stopped going to the gym partly because the people annoyed me so much. There was the lazy woman who would walk on the treadmill at a snail's pace in jeans and SANDALS while those of us actually there to workout would be made to wait. There was the idiot who would mix his protein powder into the tiny cups at the water cooler, then proceed to spill musty smelling chocolate muck all over the cardio equipment. Then there was the scarily skinny girl who was clearly suffering some form of obsessive compulsive disorder as she would simply refuse to get off the cardio equipment until she got her three HOUR session in and tied then re-tied her hair back at least fifty times. Yikes.

My annoying Gym guy (there are several of them) likes to take a walk from the weight room through the cardio area, where all the women are, to some unknown location and back again about every 5 minutes. The worst part is, he's not even looking at the women half the time because he's too busy admiring is physique and "good looks" in the mirrors.

Haha I try not to laugh at them, but sometimes I just crack up. Does that make me annoying gym girl?

I wish I could say that some of the things I wrote were inaccurate, but they are not! It hurts me to see this guy at the gym.  I actually feel quite sad for him, because aside from the fact that he is making an a$$ of himself and annoying other people, he is obviously trying VERY had to lose some weight.  I wish more than anything that I could take him aside and give him suggestions to improve his results, but I know that is considered rude.  He has been in the gym now for months on end and I can tell just by looking at his lovely jiggle that he has not made any progress at all.  I am tempted to ask one of the trainers (I am a trainer too but not at this gym), if they would be willing to talk w/ him or offer him a free session or something.  Obviously, they can't say anything about the B.O., the horrendous attire, or the extreme hair problem, but if they could just set this guy on a better path it would end my extreme desire to go talk to him myself.  Truly, I had to write my original post because it was so painful for me to watch the dude that I couldn't get it out of my head for the entire morning. 

Haha, wow.  Thanks to all for the anecdotes.  They serve as firm indicators to me that I made the right choice in just doing body weight (plus some dumbbell) exercises at home.  :-)

Once again, I'm grateful that I rarely go to the gym!

lmao

Original Post by atsetti:

There was the lazy woman who would walk on the treadmill at a snail's pace in jeans and SANDALS while those of us actually there to workout would be made to wait.

I've actually seen someone walk on the treadmill BAREFOOT while staring at herself in the mirror the entire time.  I wanted to give her my shoes.  That is just disgusting.

is it maybe the guy who always uses way too much weight trying to show off.  Then looks around to see who's looking at him?  

AGG was at my gym the other day with some friends. They seemed to have some kind of club uniform: baggy trousers, nipple-clenchingly tight lycra blouses and manly fingerless weight-lifting gloves. Alas, while AGGs friends were clownishly flaunting their impressive frontal musculature, AGG's blouse was barely containing his flabby midsection. It was nevertheless clever of AGG to distract attention from his oozing torso with a hairstyle of spiky grandiosity, defying gravity to reach a majestic ridge, sweeping all who dared to contemplate its architectural implausibility to one inescapable conclusion. Pinhead.

Also: weight-lifting gloves? Gloves for lifting weights? Please.

Original Post by karlamiller:

Also: weight-lifting gloves? Gloves for lifting weights? Please.

 Oooh you know i have been debating the whole gloves thing, i know they are totally not required, to the point of almost bieng a joke.

However since i've been lifting wieghts i've been finding i've been getting terrible callous's on my hands and i thought they might help??

I am married to one of those hairy guys - I would not expect this guy to "do something" about his hair - it is genetic.  I would expect a normal t-shirt though not somehting like what he is wearing.  maybe they need a "dress code"

The rest is funny but sad.

Original Post by karlamiller:

AGG was at my gym the other day with some friends. They seemed to have some kind of club uniform: baggy trousers, nipple-clenchingly tight lycra blouses and manly fingerless weight-lifting gloves. Alas, while AGGs friends were clownishly flaunting their impressive frontal musculature, AGG's blouse was barely containing his flabby midsection. It was nevertheless clever of AGG to distract attention from his oozing torso with a hairstyle of spiky grandiosity, defying gravity to reach a majestic ridge, sweeping all who dared to contemplate its architectural implausibility to one inescapable conclusion. Pinhead.

Also: weight-lifting gloves? Gloves for lifting weights? Please.

 LOL - i'm glad i've opted for the home based work outs plus running at the beach (where I'm sure I'll get to see my share of Annoying Beach Lions over the next few months!)