anorexic friend hasn't eaten in 74 hours!!! ADVICE????
i'm on the phone with her right now.
what should i tell her????????
she's going to DIE.
huh, i've done that before...
pretty sure i binged after.
the body can only hold out for so long
Tell her that she should drink some fruit juice, if she can. Meanwhile, contact someone who can actually get to her. Is she a minor? You might want to inform her parents.
And it isn't helpful to say "eventually she'll eat because of the hunger". If that were true, anorexia wouldn't be life-threatening, but we know it is.
If she's on the phone to you about this then two things are obvious:
a) She knows what she's doing it wrong.
b) She wants some sort of attention/acknowledgement.
Don't force her to eat, because she WILL eventually eat on her own, and most likely binge eat. I'd say the fact that she got on the phone with you is a way of willing herself out of binge eating.
All anorexics eat, the more attention you give her for this then the longer she'll have the spirit to continue the starvation.
Tell her that you hope she eats something, and get off the phone.
she's been having diet coke and... u guessed it- gum.
just got off w her. she can't waitto get into the hospital. she tells me she needs someone to make her eat, b/c she won't do it by herself, and if the only way is to end up in hospital, then so be it.
it's not the best road, but scientifically, she WILL PASS OUT, and her mother (who checks on her all the time) WILL CALL AN AMBULANCE. and she will be tubed.
also, i doubt she'll just break and binge eat. she's been taking in abut 250-500 cals a day even BEFORE she started to starve herself like this, so sshe doesn't TOUC large amounts f food.
oh yes, and if she does, she'll purge.
Original Post by popthebubbles:
thanks so much guys!!
she's been having diet coke and... u guessed it- gum.
just got off w her. she can't waitto get into the hospital. she tells me she needs someone to make her eat, b/c she won't do it by herself, and if the only way is to end up in hospital, then so be it.
it's not the best road, but scientifically, she WILL PASS OUT, and her mother (who checks on her all the time) WILL CALL AN AMBULANCE. and she will be tubed.
also, i doubt she'll just break and binge eat. she's been taking in abut 250-500 cals a day even BEFORE she started to starve herself like this, so sshe doesn't TOUC large amounts f food.
oh yes, and if she does, she'll purge.
Regardless of how it happens, she will not die - and she will eventually eat something.
She sounds a lot like me; although I never called a friend; I was desperate for attention for my weight loss/starvation. I wanted to get so sick I wound up in hospital because in some sick way I thought that would impress people. This is why I am saying don't give her that attention.
Tell her what she already knows; that she should and you would like her to eat something...and let that be that.
It is ultimatly out of your hands, so just avoid doing anything to encourage the behaviour.
IMO--and this is my opinion only--you do more good if you can say "I love you, and I won't watch you self-destruct because I cannot participate in that kind of behavior."
One more thought....
I didn't take time to look it up, but you can.
You need to appeal to her vanity, so refer to the damage that kind of stress does to your hair, skin, teeth, eyes, etc. (she probably has been told many times about the damage to inner organs and doesn't care). This also ages you in a way that you can never fully repair - I know I've read that somewhere.
She is permanently damaging her beauty. Maybe that will wake her up. ???
Original Post by joanne811:Original Post by popthebubbles:
thanks so much guys!!
she's been having diet coke and... u guessed it- gum.
just got off w her. she can't waitto get into the hospital. she tells me she needs someone to make her eat, b/c she won't do it by herself, and if the only way is to end up in hospital, then so be it.
it's not the best road, but scientifically, she WILL PASS OUT, and her mother (who checks on her all the time) WILL CALL AN AMBULANCE. and she will be tubed.
also, i doubt she'll just break and binge eat. she's been taking in abut 250-500 cals a day even BEFORE she started to starve herself like this, so sshe doesn't TOUC large amounts f food.
oh yes, and if she does, she'll purge.Regardless of how it happens, she will not die - and she will eventually eat something.
She sounds a lot like me; although I never called a friend; I was desperate for attention for my weight loss/starvation. I wanted to get so sick I wound up in hospital because in some sick way I thought that would impress people. This is why I am saying don't give her that attention.
Tell her what she already knows; that she should and you would like her to eat something...and let that be that.
It is ultimatly out of your hands, so just avoid doing anything to encourage the behaviour.
I'm sorry but I think that it's kind of selfish to assume that "she will not die" because you think she's like you. I do condone the fact that she shouldn't be given attention, but making such a generalization about her with having such little information about her is slightly ignorant.
To me, it sounds like she's scared of herself at the moment and she's seeking help. I'm glad that she's taking action instead of letting herself fall further into the harm that she's doing to herself.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of oneself, so I would hesitate to call the original poster "selfish". What help could she be to someone who wants it, if she has gotten herself to a state where she is unable to take care of herself?
People do die from this disease, but that does not justify enabling the victim and thus prolonging the misery. She is the only one who can decide to recover.
hey hunny
i went a week with out eating and ended up in hospital so i d definatly try and get her checked out
but dont force her to eat or nag about it your only feeding her ED and she ll probably carry on starving
Original Post by twentysevenjune:I'm sorry but I think that it's kind of selfish to assume that "she will not die" because you think she's like you. I do condone the fact that she shouldn't be given attention, but making such a generalization about her with having such little information about her is slightly ignorant.
To me, it sounds like she's scared of herself at the moment and she's seeking help. I'm glad that she's taking action instead of letting herself fall further into the harm that she's doing to herself.
I don't particulary want to start an argument, but I don't appreciate being called selfish+ignorant for making what I think is a justified claim. :/ (and I certinly don't think she will not die because she is "like me")
She won't die, and I stand by that. She is not living alone, she has her mother checking on her...you have to accept that outside of that there is little else to do to interfer. She has resources around her to live, she just has to decide to use them.
I think you should have a look at this website
In the left side bar you'll find links to advice for friends and family under "Helping Loved Ones". We have to remember that this is a mental disease and it can only be treated by a qualified therapist. There's not a lot you can do, but you can learn how to talk to her and how to avoid triggering damaging behavior.
Is there a safe diet pill for teens?
Orlistat, marketed as Xenical by prescription and over-the-counter Alli, is the only drug approved by the FDA for teens ages 12 to 16... Read more