Another potty training question......

I have a daughter, shes 2years +4months old, she has been peeing on the potty since before she was 2 with no problems.. but she will NOT poop on there, wont try, doesn't want to talk about it, nothing. She will not go poop unless she has a diaper on then will go to her "alone area" and poop in the diaper. We've tried not putting the diaper on but she will hold it in and start crying.

I've tried to explain to her that pooping is good and everyone poops, I've even tried rewarding her with a special treat or reading her favourite book or whatever after she goes but nothing has worked! It is driving me bonkers! I know she knows if she has to go, but its like she is terrified of poop. Even after she goes in her diaper she will deny it and scream if you try to change her. I have never said anything like eww that's a gross one or anything, I always say good job making a poop! Any ideas? I'm soo lost

the only idea that came to me is sitting her portable potty in her 'alone area' and see if she will use it there. Of course, it kind of has to be her idea, to prevent any struggles and all...but maybe just seeing the potty there will make her decide to try it one day?

Have you tried this:  after she goes in her diaper,  take her and the diaper to the toliet, empty the poop into the toliet and say "ok, this is where poop goes,  poop goes in the toliet"  do a little bum wipe, throw the toliet paper in and let her flush.  Then say "good girl, you put poop in the toliet,  bye bye poop".  Then tell her what a good girl she is for putting her poop in the toliet, lots of praise, clap and give her a treat for putting her poop in the toliet (we used M&M's).   After a week or so of this, I just tried to catch them right before they pooped in their pull up.  When I saw them trying to have a poop, I hustled them off to the toliet, saying "OK, let's put our poop in the toliet now"  "where does poop go?" "you're such a big girl, putting your poop in the toliet" "you get some M&M's if you put your poop in the toliet"  etc.   Eventually, they made the transition.  It took a couple of weeks.  Good luck.

My cousin's little boy was the same way.  He refused to poop on the potty.  They found an Elmo goes Potty dvd at a yard sale and grabbed it just becasue he liked Elmo.  He sat down to watch it and asked for his potty and has pooped on the potty ever since.  If she has a favorite show, see if they have a potty dvd.  It may help.  My kids had them too and they loved them, they think they are funny, but they get the message too.

She doesn't want to use her potty outside of the bathroom, she usually sits on the actual toilet with those baby seats on it, I tried putting the potty in her room so she could go and be alone but she got really mad "no this goes in bathroom!"

I've tried putting her poops in the potty, she knows thats where it should go if you ask her "where do we go poop?" she says "on the potty!!"  If I try to say lets go to the potty right before she goes she will throw a temper tantrum and say no no non no and I dont want to force her. Also tried the m&ms thing and she  doesn't care! the reward is not worth it to her! I dont understand her! Its so frustrating.

We watched the elmo video and she likes it and thinks its funny, sometimes she'll say, "he just made a peepee not poopoo mama" and I'll say "no he made a poop hes a big boy now!" and she will ignore me. ahhh its so hard

I once read that eating and pooping are two things that children can actually control so they'll assert their independence that way--by going/eating when they want, where they want.

I don't know how to put this without sounding curt so here it goes. I say just leave her in the panties. She will eventually HAVE to poop either by her own will or her body's. If she chooses to poop in her panties, just say, "That's okay, accidents happen. I'm sure you can make it to the potty next time!" or something along those lines while you change her panties. If you have panties she really likes, hopefully she won't want to dirty them too much (we did princess panties that DD LOVED).

Good luck!

there are lots of great books at your local library even one called everybody poops, which helped a friend, but not my jj.  try using underwear all day, all night ,we continued to have problems with the poop too untill we let jj stay in underwear consistantly.   i think pull ups are good for some kids not others . also let her flush the potty tell her the fishes in the back of the potty need the poop (worked for another friend).  let her be in the bathroom when somebody else poops so she knows everybody DOES poop. we let our kids in when we pee but we tend to poop alone. just like she wants to poop alone also try going into the next room or hall while she props up on the potty with the newspaper or an ad or maybe my son enjoys that just cause hes a boy.the best of luck potty training is hard work  for both of you. 

Ok, so I'm at my wits end with this potty training thing.  I ask my daughter, do you have to go?  And she'll say no and sit on the steps and pee in her pants.  She also poops in her pants.  I have her in panties all day with pull ups at night...so I feel your pain!

I also TOTALLY agree with bier.  There are psychological reasons people hold their poo...ever heard the term "anal retentive"?  It's a serious medical term not just slang.  They hold it because they can control it.  I also have heard that kids are scared of it because it was painful once in their past and now they don't like to do it.  I think my daughter has BOTH of these issues.

I have held her down on the potty with her screaming and I truly think it's just a war of wills.  She can do it, she just chooses not to. 

Rewards don't work for her either.

My friend's child is 6 years old and still poops in a pull up!  I guess the moral to the story is that no matter what we do, they'll do it when they are ready not when we want them too.

Good luck!  I know I need a little luck too!

You said that she goes in the actual toilet, maybe it is as simple as in the past the baby seat could have bit her in the butt and she did not like it. Try changing the baby seat they have all kinds plastic, rubber, hard and soft that maybe will help.( Have her pick the seat she likes)

  Only other thing i can think of is if you have hard wood floors were you live have her with nothing at all (no clothes) when she has to go she will feel bad walking around with a ball behind her and nobody in the family help her until she goes into the bathroom. Multiple times of this she maybe will get the hint.

Well I left her in her underwears and she had a poop accident, but didn't seem upset by it at all, I just told her it was ok and next time we go on the toilet. The next day she held in her poop all day, then the following day I could tell she had to go so I asked her if she did and she said, "poop in doras" (she had dora underwears on) so I said no we poop on the toilet like a big girl, she cried because I took off her undies, then she kept saying, "I gotta go poo" I brought her to the toilet and nothing, then after about 4 times of that, SHE DID IT, I am sooo happy, and she was so proud of herself, she wanted to call daddy at work right away and tell him!

Thanks everyone for helpful suggestions, looks like you just have to stick to it, I'm hoping her fear is gone forever.

Her fear will not be gone for ever and she may have a accident multiple times more. Looks like the right direction.