Does anyone here have Adult ADD (or know someone well who does)?

I think my boyfriend may be showing signs of ADD. He was diagnosed as a child and seems to think that he somehow "got over it". From everything I've been reading, this is not someone that a person can ever just "get over". I am looking for people who can describe what it's like for them, or for their friends or relatives or partners, with ADD. I hesitate to confront my boyfriend with this issue until I'm a little more certain that it may be the source of some of our problems.

Thanks!

• His house was absolutely disgusting!  I'm a clutter bug, so a little bit of mess or untidiness doesn't bother me at all, but he actually had dirt and who knows what else entrenched. He lived with his elderly mom and had 5 cats.  His idea of cleaning was basically to shovel whatever was in the way somewhere else.  One of our running jokes was that if we did end up living together that there would be a housekeeper and that he would pay for it.
• His finances were as much of a disaster as his house.
• He did always tell me that if there was something that he needed to change that I would have to tell him so he could change it.  This runs completely counter to my personal philosophy that people should not try to change each other.
• Talking about issues needed to be done when I was not upset or not going to get upset as he would react to my being emotional.  One time he actually yelled at me and I kicked him out of my house.  He didn't mean to yell at me but that was too much.  As I recall I think I was upset that I he was late yet again when I had told him that it was important to me that he be on time.  He was upset that I was upset and that I was still mad that he was late even though he didn't mean to be...something dumb like that.

BTW, so glad that we broke up after writing these, we really were not well suited in retrospect!

My adult daughter (30 yrs old) has ADD.  I think back  and I remember telling the doctors that something in her personallity was not right, FOR DECADES! She became worse in high school and they diagnosed ADD, and a mood disorder; many times this is something that accompanies ADD, and of course she has an IQ of 165.  Very common for ADD people. Often times ADD adults develope depression, moodiness (putting it lightly).  We struggled through 7 yrs of college, she did graduate with low grades, but it was a huge triumph for her. She has had no gainfull employment since she gradualted 4 years ago. No job lasting more than 5 mons. Recently she did get a job as a cashier at a liquour store, and is doing well, she likes her job and they like her.  Life with her has been rocky to say the least! Trying to explain her behavior and emotions to other people has been difficult to say the least (including her siblings, one who has no signs of ADD/ADHD, does very well and one who has mild signs but does well). I am divorced their father when she was 5 and tried to "love her more" because of her behavior, thinking it was all my fault.  This I believe now did not help her at all. She needed more structure and more of pulling her back on task.  She is doing better, but I have also become a better mother.  She is special, and has special needs.  I have to remember to guide her when I she some of her compulsive behavior and not nag.  It is difficult, especially since I am very under weight (that's why I'm here) and she is very over weight. 

Oh, yay, and the disgusting room thing, that's my baby!  She likes to see all her stuff but gets very over whelmed when she tries to clean.  She will go in bursts, but then just stop and can't do anything for weeks.  She is also a compulsive buyer often times over drafting her checking accts and getting into collections.  I once asked her if that $174.00 pizza was worth it, she just said she was hungry and had no food in the house.

This may not help, but you are not alone.  I am a mother and will always be a mother, but you need to decide if you want to be a mother to him.  Because if he won't admit if he has a problem and get help and you stay with him, that is what you will be, a mother.  ADD is like diabetes, it never really goes away, but it can be managed WITH TREATMENT & MEDICATION & SUPPORT GROUPS.

Good luck!

Both my son and I have ADD.  Bright children with ADD can get by with this learning disorder and develop compensatory skills to get through daily activities, thus many are not diagnosed.  Living with ADD is like being in a room with thousands of people constantly, everthing is distracting and overwhelming.  It takes time to organize your thoughts and often times it feels as though you can not follow simple instruction with more than one or two directions.  That said, a person with ADD can also become hyper focused  on activities that they love.  If you need direction on how you can best deal with his distractions, reply to this msg.