anyone else feel..anti-social?

I find that lately, I havnt been wanting to go out. I know for a fact that I am not huge but I am not really happy with myself. Most of my friends are thin and wear cute clothes but I kinda feel like I am stuck in a rut. I work in a mall and I am obviously surrounded by clothes but I guess I am refusing to myself things until I lose weight. So, basically my clothing consists of jeans and a hoodie to hide myself I guess.

I have been missing out on alot of great fun and I hate being like this. Its not that I think people are gonna be like "omg, look at herrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"...its more like I just feel as though I am not 'fashionable' enough. I wont feel good enough to go out until I lose the weight. I mean...I dont stay at home 24/7 lol.... but if im feeling too chubby .... i say "eff it!" and sulk at home.

I know what you mean...its saturday night and once again sitting at home!!!  Going out makes me feel worse about my self.  Especially since I can not wear all of the little cute tops all of my friends can.  Im tired of making excuses when my friends call...I cant wait until I can flaunt my new body!!

I cant wait either. The last straw was when there was this big party in NY and all my friends went and had a great time. I was gonna go but last minute I said no (i was also sick..but if i had a awesome outfit, i wouldnt have cared). I keep seeing all the pictures of them all together and me not in it. The next day, I rejoined my gym and started counting calories.

I am giving myself until next spring to do this rather than try quick fixes and hope for the best that I lose it all in 1 month haha. There is no way I am gonna try to hide myself in the summer =0

Well, REALLY, nobody should give up their life, waiting until they're skinny to have a good time, but I know how you feel. I really didn't have much to lose at all, and I have already lost it, but I felt the same way. When I put on a few pounds I feel so gross that I don't want to leave the house. I think it's all in our heads though. You see ALL kinds of people out there in the world living life and enjoying it -- little people and BIG people!

Aside from that I pretty much feel "anti-social" quite a bit ... well, about 50% of the time, but I'm just not a real social butterfly. I PREFER to be by myself and do things by myself. I enjoy it. :)

I invented it. :D

I haven't been out in years.

yes i felt great and now ths month after gaining 10 pounds i dont wanna go to school i feel so .. not myself.

sometimes when i go out it makes me feel better.

i had a horrible day and i went to the football game and the fresh air felt so good.  so my advice is hang out with friends somewhere out or even if youre alone go outside. :]

yeah...I totally understand!  I have a fairly new bf, who /likes/ me the weight I'm at, but is very willing to help me get to where I want to be...(I'm just thanking my lucky stars he didn't see me 35+ pounds ago..) but, :: shrugs :: well, because /I/ still don't really like where I'm at, I still feel kinda like I'm too gross to be seen shaking /anything/ in public, let alone having /fun/...:: gasp :: FUN!  In PUBLIC?  Involving being /comfortable/ with my body!  NO WAY!

So, I'm like, "okay, I'll try to become more sociable, but..."  I mean...how do you /break out/ of hiding behind weight issues?  How do you start feeling great about yourself, and have fun going out, if you've used your self image to push everyone away, over and over again?

I'm not really a /non/ social person..but I've gotten so used to entertaining myself, because I didn't feel like anyone would /want/ to be around me, 'cause I didn't want to be around myself.  Now, I'm so very interested in getting out there, and /living/ my life, rather than watching people who, I'll admit, pull off the cute tops, and the fun skirts, etc, a lot better than I do, but...I don't even know where to start becoming more active in fun stuff for a 21 year old, yanno?....surely a lot of us are in the same boat!

i have definite hermit tendancies. not a weight thing. just a me thing. introvert. i have to make myself socialize to maintain balance. which i do. i just can spend hours alone and not feel lonely.

unsocial. i think the unibomber would be considered antisocial. anti implies hostility...you dont strike me as hostile. or a unibomber. ;)

Yeah, im pretty much an introvert myself.....but at the same time i am the comedian of the group. sometimes though, i have to force converstation.



I actually decided to go out last night. I felt good in what I was wearing.... I went to the place....and thought "hey, this isnt so bad!"...and then my boyfriends ex girlfriend shows up. WTF haha. i cant win.

As far as cute outfits go, it really doesn't make sense to spend much money on them when you're going to keep dropping pounds, but sometimes the accessories make all the difference.  Since most accessories are not weight dependent, you can keep these as you slim down.  If you just have a pair of black pants and a black or bold-colored shirt in a style that's flattering to you, the right jewelry or some cute shoes or anything like that can really make you stand out.  I agree with alayney, don't let not being thin get in the way of having fun.

This is the main tip I have on actually getting out:  Find a place or places to hang out that fit with your personality.  If you are comfortable with the atmosphere you are less likely to feel self-conscious.  For example, when my husband and I started to explore various clubs in our city, we went to a couple of places where the music was mostly current top 100 songs and everyone was booty dancing, and neither of us are really into that, so I mostly felt out of place and didn't have much fun.  Recently though, we've been hanging out at some goth/techno clubs which we really enjoy because we like the music better and you can really dance your heart out and no one looks at you funny.  Which is not to say that you should necessarily go to goth clubs, just find a place that fits you.  You may just have to try a few places before you find it.

BTW, dancing is a really great way to get exercise.

LoL, I am a raver ^-^

I have been going for 10 years and I used to always wear like giant pants and some dumb shirt...but now that im older, i feel silly wearing those kinda things and now i have new friends who are more on the 'clubby' dresser side rather than the 'big pants/way out there style) side. I know they dont care how I dress but its something thats just important to me. Also, i lovvvvve to dance and if im not comfy in what im dancing in...then whats the point in going?

yeah, theres no point in buying new clothes if im gonna shed pounds anyways. shirts are ok but pants are pointless i think.

I was never super skinny, although I was in the normal BMI range.  I never let wanting to lose 10 lbs get in the way of fun and I don't regret it a bit.  Men don't all prefer super skinny women, my dh does not.  I mean, sure, he liked the way I looked when he me met a lot better (read 70 lbs ago), but you KWIM.  I'd go out anyway.  Buy one outfit that looks great on you, that enhances your good qualities and plays down anything negative.  And then go have fun!  Someday you'll be old and have kids and you'll never get to go anywhere (this is me) and at least you'll have your memories.  LOL  I had so much fun when I was younger, don't miss it because of 10 extra pounds (or however many.)

Jenny

I know how you guys feel, i am 18 and feel like i have done nothing fun in forever. I am not comfortable with myself, so of course with others im not comfortable. Why does weight decide if we are happy or not? Why is it such a big deal

I think because we LET it!

"unsocial. i think the unibomber would be considered antisocial. anti implies hostility" -- watergirl

Oh, ABSOLUTELY. When I say "antisocial," I mean it in the lightest of senses. Antisocial is actually a disorder. Antisocial is the new word for "psychopath" -- these are not good people, obviously.

I see people who are bigger than me who go out all the time and have fun and i wonder the same thing. its just a mind set i guess... i guess if i pretend im a Nike slogan....i should just DO IT heh. I always find that i either have fun or sometimes i dont... and i know if i were thinner... id prolly feel the same way...but maybe more comfy with myself. blah

"... and i know if i were thinner... id prolly feel the same way ..." -- robochels

Oh, you are SO RIGHT!!!

yes I feel that way too...I don't even enjoy looking in the mirror at myself so I don't expect anyone thinks I'm much to look at either. I just really want to loose weight in my stomach and in my thighs...any suggestions???

Be careful....... one day you may find that your friends stop calling and have moved on....

I'm not antisocial but I have this horrible disease. Im afraid of the television. I don't mind going out. I'd rather go out then watch TV at this point. Im a social butterfly. :-) I love going out. I have some issues. But I've never been sooo fat that I wouldn't go out! Im already fat and I go out. I wouldn't give a damn if I was morbidly obese I would still go out. I just love going out. Its the way I am. I dont know why you guys are like that.

Back to my problem. I don't watch TV. I'm afraid of the TV. Anyone have any advice for me? Im also have schizophrenia and delusional person. I'm also paranoid. I have this fantasy where I think the whole world should just mix together like black and whites, ect. And now that people can read my mind its coming true. I mean thats great and I'm happy about that, but it aware me that they can read my mind. And I dont know if its right or wrong. I know its right! But I don't want people to read my mind anymore. I just want to be left alone. Why cant people do what they want to do. I mean kids yeah, they mix. Then you grow up and you seperate. Thats how life is. Oh well. Why cant people just leave me alone. And be themselves. I mean if the like black people, and all then fine. As long as they STOP READING MY MIND. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! DONT CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE!!! MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!! <----------Thats all I'm asking.

Well thats my problem. All I do is listen to music all day and go on the internet. Soon I'm going out and starting school. And everyday I go somewhere or try. Do you all watch TV?

Be careful....... one day you may find that your friends stop calling and have moved on....

good point roj.

i saw that happening with my coworkers about a year ago. you tune people out long enough, they will move on. interestingly enough, my sons death last may changed all that. i will unlock an old journal entry to shed some light if anyone is interested in how that changed my life.