Anyone else feeling love sick?

ytu

feel free to rant, it's what we're here for. we all have those days where we just need an extra hug

*hugs*

could you possibly phone him to see how he's doing?

I am sorry to hear about your friend.  But it's not your fault he got back into the drug scene.  Please don't blame yourself!  Be happy that he is getting help for his addiction.  Hopefully he will get the help he needs and be able to stay sober once he leaves rehab.  It sounds like he has had a rough time of it lately and maybe it is the best thing that happened that he is now getting the help he needs!  YOU HAVE TO KEEP TELLING YOURSELF IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!  He made the decision to use not because of you but because of himself.  I am sure he is/was using drugs to ease the pain of what he experienced.  Hopefully in rehab he will get the counseling he needs to deal with the pain of everything that has happened.  I will pray for him and you too.  Please give yourself a break and stop blaming yourself.  I know it is hard but for your own sanity you need to stop. 

Take care of yourself and know that we are always here for you! 

sunnydog is right.  He did not drink because of you.  You simply became the convenient excuse.  Niss, bad things happen to lots of people.. they don't all go out and get drunk or do drugs. 

I had a serious problem with alcohol when I was your age. That was many moons ago now, but at the time it was serious enough to require some treatment and counselling. Since that time many bad things have happened to me, as well as many good. 

When my second husband committed suicide 5 years ago, he left a note blaming me.  It would have been the easiest thing in the world for me  to get blasted and stay that way for as long as I felt  which was a very long time.  But I didn't. I knew that if I had just one, a thousand would not be enough.

Your friend knew he had a problem.  He knew it was a bad problem, because in rehab they would have drilled that into him with a hammer, but rather than call his sponsor, he CHOSE to drink/drug. 

Now, as for you... perhaps you need to consider that he has a penchant for burying all his emotions in drugs and/or alcohol.  What kind of relationship would you have if every time the going got rough, he got going... with whatever tuned him out.  What kind of father would that be to children if you took a relationship that far? What kind of support would he be if something happened to you or your family?  Would he even be there for you, or would you be bailing him out of some county jail?

Wish him well, and wish him goodbye until he can prove in the LONG TERM that he has changed his way of looking at life, and is able to take the good along with the bad without drugs or alcohol. How long is that? Well, I would not consider a permanent relationship until he is clean and sober 5 years or more, without a slip.

Don't think this is good advice?  Go to an Alanon or Narcanon meeting as a visitor and find out how rough it can be connected to a druggie or alcoholic.

As you have no doubt found out with food, not everything we love is good for us, and some is positively toxic.

I wish you and your friend the best.  I hope he can get help and find happiness and wellbeing again.  Don't feel like it was your fault, ever.  The best thing you can do to help him is to stay healthy mentally and blaming yourself is going to make that hard.

I am also feeling love sick.  My boyfriend of two years just graduated with his bachelors and went to Florida to work.  He did an internship with this research station last summer (studying bobwhite quail) and now has a year round job with them.  I am here in Colorado, alone, with no job.  We are in the same field (wildlife biology) but have different interests and are both hoping to attend graduate school (hence my other thread).  Anyway I am hoping, praying to get a job with the same organization for this summer.  I am waiting and waiting for the head of the non-game bird research to let me know what positions he will have for the summer.  If I can't get a job or at the least and internship (ick) with them I don't know when I will see the boy again.  If I can get in with the research station I could work with some cool birds, live with my boyfriend and have a good chance at getting into a grad program with the U of Georgia or Florida.   The missing him, waiting and uncertainty about my and our futures is making me insane.  I must check my email about 50 times a day looking for any news.  Plus I am 23 and living with my mom and that is just depressing in and of itself.

thanks so much for the support everyone, it really means a lot to me and floataway I hope everything works out for you, dont give up