Anyone else have a partner with no weight issues???

I have been living with someone for about 6 months and he can eat as much as he likes with no weight gain.  I have fallen into the trap of eating whatever he cooks - and am at my heaviest ever.  He doesnt think I need to lose weight (loves me the way I am), but I am miserable about myself.  I am 5' and weigh 180 lbs. 

I try to exercise when he is at work, but am agoraphobic so can't join a gym, or even walk around the block.  He always brings home munchies - which I have a hard time not eating.  I know it's not sabatage - he just really thinks that I don't have a problem.

Does anyone else have the same problem??  And if so, how do you deal with them eating and cooking - and having the willpower to say no.  I would also like to add that we use a food bank due to money issues, so none of the food is healthy - lots of bread and canned stuff. 

Thanks for listening.

Faith

I don't live with my boyfriend, but whenever he visits I tend to overload. He's able to eat as much crap food as he wants without gaining a pound. But actually he can't eat as much food as I can. He's about 10 pounds less than me too, which makes me insecure sometimes. :-/

I don't know much about agoraphobia... Maybe you can find a cheap older treadmill or stationary bike at a yard sale, thrift store, or on craigslist and use it in your house?

Hi Faith!

I feel your pain, my hubby has a very active job, so he can eat two bags of chips a night and still be skinny as a rail.  Living with him had definitely made my eating habits worse.

First off, explain to him that it's great that he loves you how you are, but you feel miserable and need to make some changes.  Since he loves you, he should understand your need to be happy. 

Second off, on the fitness forum FAQ, you'll find lots of "equipmentless" exercises you can do at home while he's working.  Just getting more active will be a huge jump start for weight loss for you.

Finally, find yourself a snack that you'll enjoy eating while he's eating muchie food.  I know your options are limited, but things like baby carrots, flavored rice cakes or dry cereal (my personal fav), can help you feel like you're sharing "snack time" without sharing his high cal snack.

My husband and I both love to cook and eat, and of course, since he's a man, he can eat a lot more than I can.  It took me 25 years to figure out that eating less than he does is still way too much for me to maintain a healthy weight. 

Lots of studies show that we all tend to eat more than we need if more food is available -- there is a famous study that shows that Americans eat about 3 times as much soup as they need if they eat from a bowl that keeps refilling itself from the bottom.  There are lots of good tips in the blog section here about how to control your portions, but this is what has helped me since last January when I decided that enough was enough and to take control of my weight:

• I am ruthlessly honest about what I eat, and log it all here on CC.
• I use small plates.
• I only eat at the dining room table.
• I never eat from bags or boxes, only from a plate.
• I leave all the food in the kitchen except what I weigh and put on my plate before carrying that to the table.
• I keep my kitchen scale and a pad right on the counter so that it is easy to write down everything I eat.
• I put my fork down between bites, and take a sip of water between bites.
• When my plate is empty, I continue sipping water and chatting with my husband while he continues to eat.  If I am still wanting to eat more, I tell myself that I can go to the kitchen and serve myself more once I finish my glass of water.  I find that I am seldom still hungry by that time.
• If I am having a "treat" I measure out a small portion and savor every bite, and write it down in my food log.  I find that if I really pay attention, I really enjoy it, and am satisfied with less than I used to eat.
• If I am reaching for something to munch on I ask myself if I am really hungry.  If not, I don't eat it.  If I am hungry, I ask myself if this is really the best choice.  I find that if an apple doesn't appeal, but a cookie does, I am not really hungry.

I forgive myself when all these good plans fail, and I eat too much or a less healthy choice.  I simply log it and move on.  Every next meal is a new chance to make good choices.

My boyfriend is tiny, but it's because he's Asian.  He is about 5' 7" and weighs less than 120 lbs.  He eats constantly and he eats whatever he wants and he doesn't gain at all, and I kind of hate him for it.

I do! I do! My husband is 6' 4" and can eat whatever he wants with no weight gain.

He barely exercises and when he cooks it's great food but I am sure terribly unhealthy so I can definitely relate.

My husband also has a very active job and eats potato chips EVERYDAY with his lunch....never gains any weight, very frustrating! But this summer he started walking with me every night and started feeling different...he was not sure how but just did. He was in a good mood most all the time ...even after a bad day at work! He even looked forward to the walks. Then we switched to running ( I dislike to run up hills) and he left me in the dust...then I was finding a way out of doing it...bad me. Now its cold and dark when we get home from work and we don't walk or run ( I still walk 2-3x's a day at work) but now I have started working out on the elliptical machine at home. I will see if he joins me....give it time. WE CAN change their mindset to be healthy even with out them knowing it. I just never press it. I make it his choice what he does.

Start planing dinners ahead of time, and make them good for you and still taste great for him. Just tell him you want to try a new recipe then you are the one in control of what you eat. If then he wants ice cream after, by all means let him. Maybe get a flavor that you don't like but he likes ( I do this with chocolate and vanilla) I dislike either but the rest of the family likes them. Same with potato chips I cant stand Doritos and the family loves them.

anyway not sure any of this will help but i do feel your pain. Good Luck! ~hth

I do. I don't live with my boyfriend, but we do see each other every day and it's not exactly the best for my diet. He's so tiny (5"5 and 140 pds) and is still able to eat whatever he wants and has never been on a diet, completely not fair =/

But, I haven't found a lot of ways to deal with it yet (which is quite obvious since I've gained 30 pounds back since we've started dating), but I try to remind myself that the pops and sweets he loves are definitely not what's best for me. I try to keep with water and to not eat many sweets, which is hard since his dad makes cookies after every meal basically. Also, they always have fast food,ha it's a horrible environment for a diet. If you find any good ways to deal with it, please share them with me =]

Yea, my husband is about 5'7 and is so happy that he has bulked up to a whopping 155lbs! SICK!!!

He eats what ever he wants, he usually loved his foods friend, and he loves to go to the buffet.

I noticed that I was getting into trouble when the first month we started dating i gained 10 lbs. i told him OMG i gained 10lbs, since i met you, and he was all like, oooh dont worry about a measley 10 lbs. now, 6 yrs later. I am over 40 lbs from what i was when i met him!!

its not hard, but he is supportive, he tells me to take care of my self, and he says that when we go out to each that i should just make healthier desicions. My doctor told me the same thing. He said, that when we eat out, or even at home, i can have the same things as him, but not the same amount.

He also suggested feading my husband the healthy foods, but giving him larger portions, because it sucks cooking twice!

My wife can eat anything she wants at any time and not be affected at all. 

I used to eat the same stuff and ballooned up.

The thing is, she is not a very good cook and she will eat whatever so I basically do all the cooking and she eats what I eat which is usually healthy stuff