Anyone else a spouse of a deployed service member?

My husband has been gone since January and I find myself going in and out of a emotional eating habit.  We were married last August and I lost 28 lbs in the year before our wedding.  Since he left I have gained 18 lbs of it back.  I am trying really hard to lose at least 13 lbs (because I think I was a little too thin at my lowest) and some days I do really well with my calorie intake, and then some days I cant stop eating junk...

I am starting to walk with a friend after work today.  Each day we will walk to the park, around the park, and back home about 2.5 miles.  Nothing hard, but it is better than sitting at home.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle the emotional eatting from missing my husband like crazy? We've been married 9 months today, and I have only seen him for 5...

hey, I am so sorry your husband is deployed I can see that being really hard. You should use him coming back as motivation to getting back i shape. plan it so when he returns you will have a pretty new hairdue and you will be all fit and back in shape. You can also send sassy pictures of your progress to him!

Good luck!

You need something to keep you busy. Get a new puppy, train the puppy and take the puppy for walks. Teach yourself how to knit with the Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting. Promise someone a scarf. I assure you that you cannot eat and knit at the same time LOL.

When my husband was deployed (long time ago) our son was 2. Hubby was gone for a year, but that was a whole year of the terrible twos and potty training.

Good luck!! Hang in there.

My husband is currently deployed, as well, and I'm also trying to lose some weight while he's gone. <3 i want to be below 200lbs by the time he gets back, which would put me down 35lbs from when he left.

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is away at service. I am not married, but my boyfriend of 8 months is a staff sergeant in the army... knowing that he will one day be deployed for quite some time is a scary thought. Last time he was deployed to Iraq, it was for 2 years! I cannot imagine being away from someone so close to you for that long.

Although I do not know the pain you are going through, I can suggest a few things that might help you. I have clinical depression and hypothyroidism... both of which inhibit me from being completely happy... both of which cause me to gain weight.

I agree with Fringe, that you need something to occupy your time. Sometime that requires you to exert a lot of energy, perhaps in the form of exercise. Exercise released endorphins, which make you happy. Also, getting a lot of sun seems to help people who are depressed or down... I'm not sure about the chemistry/biology behind it, but I know it works for me!

Pomegranate seeds supply women with a specific kind of estrogen that helps you lose weight. I know you're thinking, "Estrogen makes girls emotional," but having balanced hormones does a lot more good than bad.

Also, not to scare you or anything... but after talking to a lot of my boyfriend's military buddies, I found out that a lot of their wives gained weight while they were deployed. So much weight, that they're contemplating divorce. :/ But this is like... 100-150 pounds we're talking about, not a mere 18. Starting to control your habits now will prevent you from gaining weight further. Anticipate your husbands return and try your best to look as good as you can for when he gets home. :)

Good luck.

thank you for your sacrifice, ladies. stay strong.

Original Post by armandleg:

My husband is currently deployed, as well, and I'm also trying to lose some weight while he's gone. <3 i want to be below 200lbs by the time he gets back, which would put me down 35lbs from when he left.

 Good luck!  When does he get to come home?

Original Post by fringe1000:

You need something to keep you busy. Get a new puppy, train the puppy and take the puppy for walks. Teach yourself how to knit with the Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting. Promise someone a scarf. I assure you that you cannot eat and knit at the same time LOL.

When my husband was deployed (long time ago) our son was 2. Hubby was gone for a year, but that was a whole year of the terrible twos and potty training.

Good luck!! Hang in there.

 I do crochet and want to start quilting. I try not to stay home on the weekends because I will eat mindlessly if I do...its just everyonce in a while I get in a mood where I know I am not hungry and I know I shouldnt eat, but it is the only thing I can think of to get my mind off of missing my husband. 

Thank you for your suggestions, I will try to keep busy.

I have been the girlfriend then wife of a Navy Petty Officer 3rd class for 15 years, I was with him when he started out of boot camp and up till his recent Cheifs exam. It is not an easy life we live but my focus when he is away is on my daughter and work. Friends and family also play key roles in this transformation.  All I can say is KEEP ACTIVE. Nightime is the hardest time but stay away from those cravings. Buy yourself some sugar free jello when you need to eat "comfort food".

Our twenty years will be done before I realize it and I can look back and say I became a much stronger more indepedent person because of all the scarifices me and my daughter have made. Stay strong and make it a point to pamper yourself.

My heart goes out to you, yaypalmtrees.....

I'm not married but last summer I met a very nice guy who had come to my home town to help friends build a house.  We got to know each other and became good "friends."  When he went back home 3 provinces away, I went into a huge depression and gained 10 lb in a couple of months (no kidding and NOT water weight either!) 

Anyways, because we are just friends, but a little more special than just friends, (yes, complicated!!)  we were just sending each other the occasional email.  And he is not a great e-mailer so I would hear a short note from him maybe once every two or three weeks....bummer. 

After three months of hating my body, I somehow happened upon CC, snapped out of it, and have lost *almost* five pounds.  The best part is that we happened to run into each other online just this past week for the first time since he's been gone (5 months) and spent a couple of hours catching up with each other through chat and webcam.

I feel your pain, yaypalmtrees--I'm sure I don't understand how bad it is with your husband being deployed, but please be assured you are not alone--Hugs to you!!

And taking a 2.5 mile walk everday--what a great way to get in your exercise, spend time with a friend, and have that accountability to get out and move it!  Good for you, you will reach your goal of 13 lb in no time.  Don't give up, I'm rooting for you!

Just one more suggestion....in addition to knitting, another thing to keep busy:  Why not write your husband an old-fashioned snail mail love letter?  It is a great to express all those pent-up emotions and I'm sure he would be very happy to receive them from you--chances are he's missing you just as much as you are missing him......

Chin up, girl--you'll can do it!

Hugs ~Mel~

 

My husband was in Iraq for a year and he got back 2 yrs ago.  Right after he left I was emotionally eating and gained about 10 lbs, but I was already a little heavy.  When I saw how he never got a day off and was always doing something w/ no down time I decided that I would go through that with him.  I lost 60 lbs. and he came home to a brand new size 4 wife!!   I kept a daily log of every single thing I ate, which made me MUCH more aware of how the calories were piling up.  Every morning I would get up before work and make myself get on the treadmill.  On the days I didn't want to I just reminded myself that he couldn't stay in bed and not go out on patrol, and we were in it together. 

Don't allow "tempting" foods to be in the house, when you have a craving get something small that will last awhile. ( I chose peppermints)  Buy a goal outfit and leave it out as a reminder.  I only sent him face shots during this time and the look on his face when he finally saw me was priceless!  Just imagine that look every time you get tempted to eat, or want to skip a workout.  It's sooooo worth it!

Now,a bit of caution for when he comes back...they have been eating crap food for a year and want to celebrate w/ some good food. We celebrated a lot and it took 2 yrs,but I'm back to being a little heavy again.  At least I know now I can do it and am on my way back down. 

This time that you are apart is really trying, but at least for us it has made our marriage stronger because if you can make it through a war, you can make it through anything!  Best of luck to you.

 

Original Post by yaypalmtrees:

Original Post by armandleg:

My husband is currently deployed, as well, and I'm also trying to lose some weight while he's gone. <3 i want to be below 200lbs by the time he gets back, which would put me down 35lbs from when he left.

Good luck! When does he get to come home?

He gets home in September. The goal of 200lbs is my short-term goal. My long-term goal is around 120-130, and probably won't be achieved until sometime in the next year and a half to two years. He just doesn't realize I'm going to be trying to lose THAT much weight yet. When he met me, I was at my lowest of about 165. I've never been thin, so it would be nice to actually be thin, at some point. <3

I'm a Marine wife, though, so my husband is only going to be gone for a total of 7 months by the time he gets back. I figured the goal of 5lbs lost a month would be an easy goal to follow, but I wouldn't say no to losing more weight than that.

Hi yaypalmtrees

My fiance is often away for extended periods of time with work.  2 years ago he was away for nearly a year, only coming home for a few weekends.  I piled on the weight and reached 180 pounds.  It was purely comfort and emotional eating.  However, over the last 15 months I have now got to my goal weight of 132 pounds.  My fiance was only away for a few months this time but her certainly noticed the last 10 pounds that I had lost and trust me, the look on his face made it all worth while.  I have found that the best way to cope is to make sure you have something special to look forward to each week and focus on that, not how many more months it is, e.g. a massage, a manicure, a walk with friends, family visit etc.  These special events and treats for yourself will keep you more positive and each time I feel like eating junk, I go for a walk even its just around the block.

Hope this helps

Hi Girls!!

I'm a Marine wife. Luckly my husband hasnt been shipped out yet but he's currently working I&I duty. Basically it means that he's training our reservists and keeping them up to date. Its a small shop, so he's on call literally 24/7. Its very common for him to leave the house at 4am and not get home until 8 or 9pm. I relize that this is NOTHING like having your husband deployed, but with no friends or family around life gets really lonely sometimes! I'm around 130 now, and looking to drop 10 pounds. I just started and am hoping I can loose the weight in around 2 months.

Feel free to message me if you'd like!! I love talking to other Marine girlies!

Hi Everyone......

wow... to all of you~

Im just about to experience all this.... hubby is leaving to iraq in june...

I started my weightloss in November about 2 weeks from when he was told about possible deployment.... I think i concentrated on my weightloss trying not to think about that at all...

now its closer ... and maintaining is so hard~...... i have no idea how im gonna do it w/ 3 boys, a house, a job and a dog.. I know I have to...  no choice but get up every morning... but emotionally i have no idea...

im afraid of gaining it all back again...  ..... hopefully this thread continues ... support will be needed ~

Hey! I too am a Marine wife. My husband is not deployed at the moment, but I lost weight during our first deployment, and the second deployment is right around the corner. The biggest thing that helped me curb the emotional eating was to think about him. When he left, I told him that I would try my best to stay strong. When I was tempted to throw myself a pity party and eat everything in sight (and trust me, I was tempted), I would ask what he would say if saw me doing that. He would have been so disappointed. It is hard enough for him to be gone, and to be fighting for our country, but to have me falling apart at home would have made it worse for him. Yes, there were days where I did fall apart, but the one part of the deployment that I could control was how I reacted to it. If I caved in to the emotional eating, I was letting the deployment control me. Plus, I didn't tell him that I was trying to lose weight, so thinking about the moment when he stepped off that bus was very motivating.

Now, when he came home, we had lots of dinners out. We went to Hawaii for two weeks, and ate and drank everything in sight. I gained 5 of the pounds that I lost back, but it didn't even matter. If I could go back and do it differently, I wouldn't. I just wanted to spend that time with my husband, laughing and hanging out, having a good time, and being focused on my weight loss would have taken away from that.

I know no one has responded to this thread in a bit, but I thought I'd share a story from my team leader in Iraq.  Joe married his high school sweetheart 11 years ago and they have 4 kids.  He is still very much in love with his wife, and loves her even though she is about 100 lbs heavier than when they got married.  While we were in Iraq, Joe and I started lifting and Joe gained about 5-10 pounds of muscle.  He and his wife talked through MySpace a lot, and they exchanged lots of photos.  His wife stopped sending him photos of her about 3 months in, and was just sending the kids.  This lasted until we had about two months left.  Joe comes and gets me and shows me a pic on the computer.  His wife had been motivated, since Joe was bettering himself, to lose weight.  She had lost almost 80 lbs!  For the next two months Joe just kept saying how he REALLY had to get home to see his wife.  We went through some bad stuff that last two months, but I don't think anything could have brought him down.  I don't know, I thought that was really cool, and things like that can carry a guy through a bad deployment.

I'm the spouse of a deployed service member.

Fourth time's the charm, right?

It's going to be a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g summer.

MOLLY