anyone else have unsupportive friends?

it's really hard to stick to eating healthy when you have friends who try to coax you to be bad. my best friend/roommate is really bad about it. she's overweight as well and has struggled with her weight. she's constantly trying to get me to eat bad food with her and tells me i don't need to lose weight because she would "kill for my body." granted, i'm not large, just really out of proportion. (I wear a size small-medium on top and about a size 12 pants.) I have other friends who are the same way. I try to tell them I'm trying to be healthy and they try to talk me out of it.

i don't mean to complain. it's just frustrating.

oo! oo! pick me! pick me! ahaha except my friends are the skinny ones and they eat whatever they want and they just don't understand lol. Don't let them get to you though, in the long run you'll just be all the better for it.

take care

part of me wonders if it's jealousy that i've made this decision to be healthier and they haven't.

i don't ever cave when they ask me to go pig out with them. it'd just be nice to have a friend who is doing this with me, you know?

My friends have NEVER tried to coax me into eating bad foods but what they DO do is try and get me to go for coffee instead of going to the gym.. That has more to do with all of us having families now, part/full time jobs, kids activities, ect...We just don't have the time to get together much anymore.. They miss me : D

"you can go to the gym any day but when do we ever all get together and go for coffee"

it'd just be nice to have a friend who is doing this with me, you know?


I have a friend who is into excersizing but not into eating healthy, so I have half the support and it helps.. We often challenge each other physically.. I bet I can do more sit ups, more time on the stair master type thing..lol

I send her downstairs to eat (she's living with us for a few weeks).. Im like ewwwwwww, look at how much fat salt calories is in that gross food, get it outta my house.. She replies with, don't be jealous that you can't eat it and often leaves a small serving at the bottom of the stairs to piss me off..lmao..

We are actually sister-in-laws/friends and we are super close so we can do that with no hard feelings and laugh about it..

But Christen, that's what you have us for girly : ) Were all in the same boat here

I know, and I appreciate everyone's support. It really does help to know there are so many other people going through this too.

What i'm doing is trying to get my friends to do more active things with me. For example, Friday night I'm getting some of them together to go bowling. I'm sneaking in some activity there. And when we go out to eat, I request that we go for sushi a lot more. I'm trying to get them to be supportive without them realizing it!

my friends are so bad for this.  they tell me I'm beautiful and womanly looking and shouldnt lose weight.  I think a part of it is they feel guilty around me b/c I'm eating so well and working out and they dont pay that much attention.  its annoying but whatever, I'm not going to let them unmotivate me, I want to and need to feel good about myself on my own, not b/c my friends make me feel good about myself.

for example, the other night after the bar, we went to wendys, I didnt order anything and they ordered a bunch of crap, and they made a comment like "whatever, I dont care if its bad for me, you should just get something too, its no big deal" 

it drives me crazy. luckily I have a few friends who are supportive.

my friends do the same thing. its quite annoying actually.

I know what everyone is going through my best friends from High School are all on the big size now when I am complaining about weight with them they  will chirp in but they aren't ready to make the commitment to get healthy so when we get together they are not very helpful to going out to places with healthier menus and stuff.  So I am recently having to cut back outings with my friends so I can behave because I don't have enough will power yet to limit myself and stop.  Foood for me is sooooooo tempting. YUM !

chelsea rose..

i know how annoying it can get. i went to the fair last week with my best friend who is supposedly my dieting buddy. back in our "fat days" (funny, i was a lot thinner then) we would go and just completely pig out. we would see who could eat the most. this year, i indulged a little, but not like i used to, and i could tell she was getting annoyed with me. she kept buying food and begging me to eat it.

it's crazy! I'm basically the same size and weight as you, with the same goals. I'm cursed with a group of tall, lean, supermodel-like PIGS. My boyfriend is 6'1 and weighs LESS than me, he sits in front of me eating massive bowls of ice cream and chocolate bars because he needs to GAIN weight. It's so cruel. I've noticed my skinny female friends giving me a bit of an evil eye as they coax me to 'pig out' with them and cover everything in cheese and sauce.

that's so crazy. my boyfriend is 6'0" and he's littttttle. he's probably about 145 on a heavy day. he eats so much, which probably explains my weight gain since we started dating. i've started eating like him, which is awful.

we should be friends since we have the same size, weight, and goals.  

Friends no, family yes.
But let them talk, you're doing this for yourself, don't you ?
Don't listen to them, or maybe you just need to find new friends.

I believe for the most part, dieting/working out is a one (wo)man show.  People are at different places in their life then you.  A suggestion would be to join an activity group (running, biking, whatever you do) for the social aspects to make new friends who share a common goal as you. 

Best Wishes,
Geo

Christen - after reading your post and your profile I can't believe how similar we are! I'm also a 24 year old receptionist in So Cal (Sherman Oaks). I wear small/medium tops and size 10 pants. My goal is also 130 pounds by mid-end October and hopefully a size 6/8. I also totally aspire to be a domestic goddess - especially one from the 50s! My parents have always told me I was born in the wrong decade! :)

Anyway, I added you to my friends. It's awesome finding some one so exactly in my situation! Haha. Let's motivate each other! Fun!

I added you, too, wetdog!

I completely understand your frustration! I work in an office with mostly women of varying sizes. A couple of times a week, I find brownies, cupcakes, cookies or candy on my desk. I usually just quietly put it in the kitchen area but Fridays are the pits! Friday is known as "Donut Day" and you can't escape it! "Elaine, why don't you get a donut??" is what I used to hear half the morning. I started combating this by bringing in a small bowl of sliced fruit and yogurt for dipping and put it along side what is affectionatly called "The Table of Death". I've found that it's just easier not to tell them your dieting because after a while, you start to feel you're being set up for failure. I've been very fortunate as far as family goes. My husband has type 1 diabetes and is a very healthy eater. He calls himself my guinee pig and is willing to try anything before I do. Who could ask for more!  You might consider letting your friend know that contrary to popular belief, healthy food is also delicious! I have tons of recipes I would be willing to share if your interested. Oh, and count me in as your friend as well. :~)

Remember that you're doing this for YOU!!!!  I'm about 15 lbs. overweight and people will say "you look great...you don't need to lose"... but I know that I do...

another way to deal with a friend like that is to just say "no thanks... i'm just not hungry"...

take care of yourself... no one else will...  repeating a mantra to yourself helps "I'm losing weight... clothes shopping will be enjoyable!!!!"

Its funny that this thread is here b/c i was going to post one just like it. Yesturday I was talking to my best friend and she told me i dont need to loose anymore weight and that i look healthy. I think she was saying this b/c she doesnt want me to look better than her. She has tiold me so many times that she wants to loose weight also but just doesnt have the time to excercise. So im guessing she wants me to stay the way i am now so she can say she is thinner than i am. She knows if i continue i will soon be thinner than her.

"She has told me so many times that she wants to loose weight also but just doesnt have the time to excercise."

You know, I used that excuse all the time and now, with juggling as many things as I do and still having ample time to excercise, that excuse just doesn't hold water anymore.

Do you want to know how this happened? My dog ate the remote control for my television and I never got it replaced. I never knew just how much time I spent planted in front of the TV. Not only do I have time to excercise, my house is cleaner, dinner is on the table at the same time and I even have time for my own projects such as painting and crafting. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that people will make any excuse they can to justify their inactivity.

Gert109 said it best, simply put "Remember that you're doing this for YOU!!!! " The heck with others!!

elaine:

how right you are. i've started watching less and less tv lately and it's amazing how much time i have. the other night, i had time to cook dinner, use the elliptical, walk to the liquor store for a diet soda, come home, shower, read, talk to some friends. it's amazing how much you can squeeze into your freetime when you're actually doing SOMETHING.

and you're right, we are doing this for ourselves, and no one else. that's why i haven't let all the naysayers get to me.