Has anyone ever had friends or co-workers deliberately try to sabotage your diet?

Has anyone ever had friends, spouces, or co-workers deliberately try to sabotage your diet? Just wondering, it seems to be happening to me. I have lost about 15 lbs in a little over a month with the help of this website, calorie counting, and many hours at the gym. Everyone knows at work that I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookies. I used to be a cookie monster. I have told everyone about this website and how it has worked for me.

The other day at an early morning meeting they all took turns eating chocolate chip cookies in front of me! Like right up a few inches from my face..saying mmmm gooood  you should try one. One of them even broke one in half and slid it across the table at me and said just eat half of one. I resisted and it seemed to irritate them. Several things like this has happened to me in the last few weeks. I don't understand this. You wouldn't try to get an alcoholic to drink a beer or take someone with a gambling problem to Vegas. Why would any one try to get someone who has a problem with food to break their healthy eating habits?

Has this ever happened to any of you?

Congratulations - this means that people have noticed your positive changes.  So much so that it's making these people uncomfortable enough to try to derail you.

I think it totally stinks that they did this to you.  It's pretty common for people to try to sabotoge a successful weight-loser like this - though the group thing was a pretty extreme form of it.  Honestly, I'm mostly serious when I say that such things happening in a work setting is very inappropriate.  It's borderline harrassment.  Why can't people just be PROFESSIONAL at work?  Geez.  What a bunch of whiny babies you work with.

Stay strong!

delete double post

Original Post by hotstratman4u2:

I don't understand this. You wouldn't try to get an alcoholic to drink a beer or take someone with a gambling problem to Vegas. Why would any one try to get someone who has a problem with food to break their healthy eating habits?

That's a great analogy.  People (in America at least) don't think about food as an addiction, but that's exactly what it is for a lot of us.

Congratulations to you for getting control of the addiction, staying determined, and losing 15 POUNDS!

This hasn't happened to me yet, probably because I'm obese and have a looong way to go.  Actually, though, now that I think on it... one of my coworkers brought in this delicious-looking pie a few weeks ago and really tried to talk me into having a piece.  After the third "no," he started to cut a slice for me anyway and said, "You can just take it home with you."  (Haha, I think he was trying to get it out of HIS house, and that's why he brought it.)  I told him flatly that it would end up in the trash can, and he finally took the hint.

But what you described is TOTALLY rude.  Actually, it's shocking and quite juvenile behavior bordering on harassment.  I mean, doesn't an "early morning meeting" mean you've gathered to, I don't know... WORK?  I'm not sure how I would deal with that kind of bullying.  But good for you for doing what was right for you in the face of peer pressure!

I should add that all of these people are my friends and I'm sure they meant nothing by it. They were probably just trying to be funny, but this is not the only thing like this that has happened. I have friends who try to get me to break gym appointments and my diet all the time.

Anybody else?

I had a coworker offer me a sandwich and a cookie. I told her "thank you but I've just had lunch" and she said "oh, but have some soup, have a sandwich, you HAVE to have a cookie!" And I said, "no thank you, I've just had lunch" and put on my sweet smile. And she looked at me like I'd bitten a small child and said "You have to have a cookie." At which point I got really uncomfortable because the conversation had gone waaaaaay past the "polite offering" zone and was sitting squarely in the "personal attack" zone. Then my boss came up and said "come on... it's a cookie!" And I completely lost the ability to smile and just stared at them dumbly. I did not have that cookie. I did spend the rest of the afternoon wishing a painful death on both though :)

I have two friends actually who do things like this.  They are very sweet both of them.  But they will do things like make an extra portion of their lunch/snack and drop it off at my desk.  They'll have a plate, napkin, the whole works.  If I say no.  I also usually cite how many calories I have already had that day and what I am planning to spend the remainder on.  They both look at me like I am crazy.  My one friend's new favorite line is"but they're healthy calories."  Hmm. Excess calories are never healthy.  I tease her and say she is trying to sabotage me, b/c she wants to be the only skinny one in the office!  That usually gets her to leave me be.

:)

Yep, it happens all the time.  One friend in particular who is very overweight and I think hates me a little for being fairly small (she obsesses over it a little in fact...) always always tries to offer me stuff and try to bully me into cleaning my plate when we go out to eat.

Why are "friends" like this?  We have such a weird relationship with food and our bodies in this society.

My boyfriend doesn't necessarily try and sabatoge my diet, but if I say I want something (which I say quite often as I stare longingly at the cheesecake at the grocery store) he says "yeah! get it!".

He knows I'm trying to lose weight, but he doesn't like where my head space is at. He thinks I should just be happy enough with the way I am right now, because he likes me the way I am right now. I just wish he understood a little more that I'm doing this for myself, because it's important to ME that I look and feel healthier.

My ex partner used to try to sabotage my healthy eating and exercise. She'd bring sweets (my weakness) into the house and tempt me with them. Also she seemed to very often need my help, have some crisis or something, whenever I wanted to go to the gym. I think it was insecurity on her part.

I think this happens to a lot of us, some of it is unintentional but what you describe is down right mean.  Maybe it is a "guy thing".   I am assuming the group at the meeting was mostly men.  I don't think the same kind of group bullying would have happened if you were a women.  I think it makes them feel superior if they can "break" you,  "look at us we got the guy on the diet to eat a cookie aren't we the best!"

As far as your reference to the alcoholic and the gambler goes, I used to work in a bar where there was plenty of drinking and gambling and trust me lots of guys used to try and make their friends "fall off the wagon" just for fun. 

Also, I do think some guys are very upset by change.  If you were always the guy who ate the wrong things then they could feel better about themselves when they ate unhealthily (don't know if that is a word) and now they miss that since you are eating better.

Congratulations on keeping your willpower and your weight loss so far!  Keep up the good work.  One way to help combat the saboters (although I love the fact that it irritated them when you didn't eat the cookie) is to take the cookie,  tell them you are stuffed and will eat it later and then dump it in the garbage on the way back to your desk.

Good Luck!

It is so frustrating when that happens!  My husband (who is also overweight) tells me he supports my efforts to lose weight, but then complains when I leave chips, sodas & sweets at the grocery store.  Is that a passive aggressive behavior?   (Just kidding)

I can ignore his late night snacking as long as it isn't something that has a really good smell.  For example, if he has a candy bar or some cookies, no big deal to me.  I can tune out the crinkly sounds from the package and stick to my resolve. 

Here is what gets me every time.  He'll put tortilla chips into the toaster oven so they crisp up (and smell delicious).  Then he'll melt some cheese and mix salsa in it to make a nacho dip.   The smell of those chips and cheese goes all over the house and I can't get away from it.  It's just worse if I go outside because it is just that much stronger when I come back in.  Once that smell gets in my head there's no amount of fruit or celery or what have you that's going to ring my bell. 

He would say he just wants to have some nachos.  I would say he wants me to stay in the old comfortable pattern that we have because the more I change, the more he has to change to keep up. 

True story. I'm an adult, but work with my mom. I'm in the office.:

MOM: You're going to get super-serious about your diet this month, right?

FREEDOMFROM: That's the plan.

M: Then here you go.

Hands over two pounds of candy.

FF: Err...

M: I know you like [brand of candy].

FF: Mom! How is this part of a diet?

M: You never told me what sort of diet you're going on.

FF: What sort of diet did you think I was going on where vast quantities of candy were okay?

M: Well, it's fat free, so I don't see what the problem is.

FF: It's virtually pure sugar.

M: So you're not eating any sugars then?

FF: No, I'm eating sugars.

M: Then I don't see the problem.

Yes....in fact I get it constantly...from family, friends, and co-workers.  They think because I had lost 65-70 lbs that I starve myself to get here...and they constantly ask if they want to get me a BIG MAC or a sandwich...I just laugh and tell them no thanks.

Thank all of you for your replies, I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this.

I really feel for those of you who have signifigant others living with you who are tempting you with their bad habits. That would be really hard. I think a lot of spouses, boyfriend, girlfriends do feel threatened when they see you losing weight and looking better. I'm sure a lot are very supportive but seems like a lot are total thorns in the side of someone trying to get their diet in control.

I love this site,

Keep up the fight everybody.

i dont think they necessarily want to sabotage you.

my sister did stuff like this, and it definitely wasnt to sabotage me...
the rest of my family isnt particularly picky about eating, and when i started losing weight, i became really picky.

everyone got annoyed at my apparent "obsession" with health food, and started mocking me and purposely offering me a cookie and then saying sarcastically "oh WAIT, you dont eat normal food anymore." or eating tasty food in front of me and rolling their eyes when i didnt participate.

the rest of my family doesnt have weight problems really, so to them, my attitude towards food was annoying.

in some cases, it may be jealousy and sabotage. in other cases, it might just be ignorant annoyance from people who dont understand. or dont care about their health as much as we do :)

just remember....YOU decide what you put into your body. Don't let other people change that...they'll get used to it with time. :)

One thing to note: people are SO weird when it comes to food.

I try to eat very well. Although, I get angry when I eat a cookie-and my friend passes. But its obviously just because I'm angry that she/he had the willpower and I didn't! It's all just a power struggle!

But way to go. You saying no to a chocolate chip cookie shows incredible strength!! Lol seriously, inspirational!

Keep up the good work, and just laugh along with your friends. They mean no harm. It's usually personal insecurities that spark that kind of behavior!

Hi Kankan213, I love your profile. That peanut butter thing had me rolling.

Lol. You think I'm joking don't you?!?!

I would never joke about peanut butter! lol

I don't know about "deliberately", but yes, since I've lost about 25 lbs and started looking quite good, I get a lot of comments like:

"Oh c'mon, ONE piece of cake won't do you any harm"

"Small beer? Why not big as usual? You're no fun anymore..."

"Fruit and vegetables AGAIN? You always eat so HEALTHY..." (from a skinny person who's just ordered a KFC bucket"

"Don't you dare be on a diet this weekend, this is a non diet holiday" (and this one from a friend who constantly loses and gains weight himself and goes for all kinds of extremely unhealthy diets)

But you know what... Every time i refuse politely this "one piece of cake" or "big beer" it gets easier and easier ;) And people still want to hang out with me, so maybe it's not sucha big problem after all...