Anyone with OCD?

I have OCD. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes it gets worse, I go to therapy on a regular basis to keep it in check. The past couple of weeks it's been in the "not so good" category, but not "OMG TERRRIBLE" like it was a little over a year ago. I never want to go back to that.

Anyway, I'm a little worried that I might develop an eating disorder, because I'm so obsessive about things. Mostly it's germs, but sometimes I think the way I look at myself and my looks borders on the obsessive. So far I'm doing good, eating enough but losing some pounds, liking the results so far -- but I get really sick when I think about eating junk food at any time, don't like going over my calories at all. I know this is probably normal, but where's the line? How do I know if I've crossed it?

I just want to talk to some other people with OCD, see how you're doing, what works for you, that kind of thing.

(edit: changed last paragraph)

hi.

message me. hate being watched like a hawk on these boards.

Why, do you have something to hide?

I was diagnosed with OCD at age 9.  I guess it has contributed to my disordered eating.  At 9 I was obsessed with germs and spent a short amount of time hospitalized for being totally non-functional (horrible experience, but the psychiatrist insisted on it).  Anyways, between the ages of 11-16, I did not need medication and really did not have any noticeable obsessive tendencies besides not accepting  any grade lower than an A.  From 16/17 on, my obsession developed into exercise/health/fitness.  Eventually this lead to food restriction, over-exercise. laxative abuse, binging, etc.  I am in a much better place now, but this 10 year battle I attribute to being obsessed with being this superficial idea of perfection.  Of course an eating disorder is all about being obsessed.  However, I do think you can have some obsessions surrounding food/eating that are not related to an eating disorder.  For instance, I like to drink my coffee out of a special mug.  I prefer to use paper towels to napkins when eating.  For cereal, ice cream, and soup, I like to use a big spoon.  When you start to have 'safe' and 'unsafe' foods, refuse to eat something unless you know the calorie count, refuse to eat out in restaurants, watch the barista at Starbucks like a hawk to make sure he/she uses skim milk and sugar-free syrup, then you are walking a thin line!

I developed OCD at the age of 8/9 which was paired with emetophobia and germaphobia. I developed anorexia at that time, too. That was about 10 years ago and I've recovered and relapsed many times since then, also suffering from bulimia a few years ago. It's good that you're aware of it, that could potentially stop it from getting that far. You said you go to therapy; I would suggest mentioning this to your therapist.

I have the germs obsession, and I count things sometimes. Thanks for your input, it helps to talk to other people who have been there. I think being aware of it will help me to prevent it from developing, especially if I work with my therapist.

I know it developed when I was thirteen but I wasn't diagnosed until I was around 18. My family would lecture me constantly about the price of soap etc., my grandma kept saying "If you don't stop, you'll end up with OCD." Well, I would have stopped if I could. I already had it, though.

The way this rules my mind is personal for me, and I don't care to share the specific aspects publicly. However, I'd be glad to talk to the original poster about it, since I don't know what life is like without it.

Fellow obsessive-compulsive here.  I was diagnosed in college but I have had it all my life.  With medication and therapy, I have some of the worst aspects of the disorder under control and have made some marvelous breakthroughs lately.  But there are still a lot of ways that it controls my life.

I don't drive for one thing.  I've never had a license and it is horribly inconvenient.  I hate that people assume that I don't drive because I don't know how, or I'm lazy or something, but I wish they could understand the paralyzing panic attacks that occur when I get behind the wheel. 

I also have a fixation with my face...its a horrible habit that I dispise but its one of those things I haven't been able to overcome yet.

The number 1 way that my OCD has effective my struggle with weight loss is that I can never half-way do something and that goes with dieting as well.  I will be 100% compulsively checking my calories, working out, weighing myself, etc but if I slip up one day it really screws up my head.  I go into this weird sort of denial...if I don't THINK about how I screwed up and gained a pound or two, then it didn't happen, so I just won't weigh myself.  It usually ends up with me giving up completely.  If I can't do it perfectly then I'm not going to do it at all.

I only have germophobia to a certain extent (though I never leave the house without hand santizer).  However, I have pretty severe hypochondria...if I get a minor pain or symptom, I will convince myself fully that I am dying of some sort of horrible disease.  I have overcome this a little bit, making steps in the right direction...I do NOT allow myself to surf WebMD anymore...

Nearly everyone in my family has some sort of anxiety disorder.  It manifests itself differently in all of use, but to my understanding it all has some of the same basic medical causes.  I even married someone with a similar panic disorder...its helpful to have someone that understands that sometimes it is not just something you can "snap out of" and that sometimes you know something in your brain and yet you still have some sort of illogical- almost physical- reaction that tries to convince you to believe the opposite of what you already know to be true.