Is anyone scared that losing weight will be disappointing/ ruin things?

I must be a chronic worrywort..but every time I've thought about losing weight, and that's a lot of times, I get scared, I've never been a thin adult, I've always been "this way" ie fat.

I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose but I suppose that the weight I wear is an excuse I use for my unattractiveness. I guess what I'm trying to say is, what if I lose weight and I'm still ugly? Then what?

Extra weight does me a lot of favours, I get to keep myself out of the game and no-one pushes me, I get to not try and be pretty because fat girls aren't by default. I'm a safe friend and confidant, no one sees me as a threat or competition. So what happens when I lose weight?

There are a lot of people who are not stereotypically pretty and manage to have perfectly normal, satisfying lives.  If you're basing all of your happiness on your physical appearance, you'll never be happy. There will always be something else you can find wrong with yourself if you're determined to, especially if you're using physical appearance as a reason not to go after the things you want in life, and as an excuse for being miserable.

I learned a long time ago that I'll never be the prettiest girl in the room; that's okay, because I don't need to be. I'm intelligent, kind, and interesting. The kind of people who would look at me and dismiss me because my nose isn't a cute little button are people I don't care to know in the first place.

You've got to find some worth for yourself outside of your physical appearance. You are more than that; you're better than that.

I totally understand what you mean.

I haven't read all of these posts but many people aren't getting the crux of your concern. As I understand it, you're not trying to be the prettiest thing in the world, but are concerned about the impact your improved appearance will have on others.

I speak from personal experience when I say that being very, very pretty can make it harder to meet female friends.

If you're attractive to begin with and losing weight is the only thing holding you back then yes, you need to prepare yourself for a radical shift in the way you're treated by other people.

When meeting new people, they may be intimidated by your attractiveness (men and women). This can have serious psychological effects for someone who is used to being a fail-safe friend, shoulder to cry on, or social butterfly. When people begin to interact with you differently you may start to question yourself on a deeper level based on the reaction your physical appearance is having with others.

Bottom line?

Be sure of yourself before going down that road and make a plan to keep your female friends and put people at ease around you. Self-deprocating humor, for example, shows people you don't take yourself too seriously and can make you appear to be less of a threat.

Good luck!

H

If people see you as a threat or competition, you're probably hotter than they are. And thus, you should not feel intimidated by their own unhottness and insecurity. Maybe it's geographically-based, but I tend to see the opposite happening - people are attracted to attractive people, and being attractive can open doors for you. It's no secret that attractive people are treated better than unattractive people, whether subconscious or not.