approaching target weight and scared

ugh...so I'm still in the regaining phase and I'm within 5 pounds of my target weight. and I feel like all of a sudden, its just like BAM my body has totally changed. and, my nutritionist said I have to keep upping my calories because otherwise I'll start to slip back and lose again.

so, I've been eating and following my calorie requirements for gain, but it's getting really hard. and I feel like I've let myself actually enjoy food a little, eat things I haven't in a long time, and actually enjoy them, and now it's all piling up really quickly. I somewhat want to just stop here, but I know I can't let ED take over. But I also know that I don't want to be unhappy with my body. Even though...I know that rationally my "target weight" is still on the low weight/bmi side for my height. I guess I just need to vent and hoping if someone else is struggling with the same thing, they'll have some words of encouragement.

I am not at this point yet but in the past I have been and have felt similar to what you are. It can be scary but trying to identify what the true fears are can help. What are you afraid of in being healthy? There is a lot of unknown and it takes time to adjust to a new body and life style. Try to focus on the positives and the things in life you want to gain where being underweight will be a barrier. I hope you continue to recovery and allow your body to reach a healthy state

i know how you feel and i am currently going through the same thing b/c im already at my goal and it's scary!! i think that in time i will accept this as my normal/healthy and stop obsessing over it. i can just tell you that you will look better, feel better, and the only aspect that might not be better is your emotional/psychological acceptance of the new body but honestly if you think rationally it's so much better. just try to overpower the ED mind and think logically! that's the best advice. tell yourself that it will pass and get better, try to remind yourself of all the negative aspects of suffering from an ED and maybe you'll realize that NOTHING is worth that. so just try to accept the NEW YOU, the BETTER and HEALTHIER you.