argh

Just need to vent,  My 20 month old took my phone and went and threw it in the bathtub with her brother and now it is broken.  Then my 3 year old threw his ball and knocked over a full beer that my hubby left on the counter and it dripped all over the floor. I didn't take them to daycare today so I could spend some one on one time with them, now I am ready to hang them by their toes and whoop them till they smell like peanut butter! (my dad's favorite saying)

Sometimes when I keep my son home... it's about the 11am time frame that I start having regrets lol

"whoop them till they smell like peanut butter!"

LOL  I've never heard that one before. 

My daughter is 13 now but your post definitely reminds me of the good times ... like when she decided it would be a good idea to use gum to stick all of my CDs together ... or the time when she thought a good place for my credit cards was in the disk drive of my computer ... or the time when she played hide and seek with my car keys and wallet (which I never found) ... or the time when she used a permanent black marker to write her name on our brand new carpet.

Kids ... You gotta love 'em.

OR when I had just bought a brand new car ( had it 2 weeks) had picked my son up from day care who was 3 at the time ( he took out some crayons from his backpack and "colored" my entire backseat interior... and the inside of the door:) I can't even tell you how mad I was!

NOW, I know better if there are kids around you, and there is silence for more than 1 minute, SOMETHING IS GOING DOWN!

Your stories are great for birth control! Tee hee.

Yeah, I have felt guilty a couple of times.... after not hearing a peep for a minute or two and I bust into my son's room like I'm on "Cops' or something only to find him drawing... lol

I once accidentally left a box of 265 crayons in my Mom's backseat during the middle of summer in Sacramento (116 was the record last year?).

Yeah...they melted....all over EVERYTHING. I was so upset my crayons were one huge ugly marbley crayon. Until I realized I could still break chunks off and use them.

She, on the other hand, was still upset. Lol.

Or the time when my son and daughter about 2yrs & 4yrs decided that they should pull up their pant legs and smear vasiline all over their legs and everything else in the room and then take all the clothes out of the draws.  Do you know how hard it it to wash off vasiline?

ahaha this is such a great form of birth control. I have a friend with a 7 yr old son and I find that he is a great form of birth control.

Or the time when Julian spilt a whole bottle of baby powder on himself and my hope chest, my bedroom was covered in powder for days,it settled on everything. Then he did again a few days later,but this time on his sister Joey's head.

But my phone is working now, it still freaks out and the volume sucks,I guess its a good excuse to go buy a new one!

or the time when you watch your nephews taking turns hitting eachother in the face with a belt

or the time you and your sisters try to haul the dog 10 feet up in to the tree with the garden hose so that Tar Baby can protect your "tree house" ( just cardboard and duct tape) and the poor dog jumps out of the darn tree!

On a really practical side ... try to leave your phone (turned off) in a warm place for about 24 hours - it will let most of the water evaporate - and almost back to new.

I am sure you have heard it before, but even through the tough times, try to laugh.  It goes by sooo fast.  It seems like just last year my oldest was putting a pop-tart in the VCR and my youngest drank a half a bottle of my Mom's Channel No.5 (YUCK) and now they are 19 and 17.  So enjoy while you can. or if not,  Peanut Butter smells good too.

I have a teenager and a pre-teen too.  My 14 year old is the best though...

We were in Walmart and I smacked her but playfully.  And she said "You better watch it or else you will be suprised one day when you open the front door and the CPA is there!"

I couldn't stop laughing, she meant CPS, I asked her "What? Are you having me audited?"

FUNNY:
Kiki (about 5 yrs old) walking in on her dad going the bathroom and coming out to laughingly whisper to me, "I saw daddy's vagina."

ARGH:
Kiki (about 3) using my loose makeup foundation powder & brush to 'paint' our white dining room chair cushions. (Since she was born, knew they had a death sentence awaiting them at some point).

ARGH:
Kiki (about 7) presenting me a hand-made valentine which included pasted on photos of her face that she had cut from her baby portraits, ruining them.  Big fight.  Both of us angry, me heartbroken and she disappointed, retreating to our rooms.
AWW: 
I felt destroyed, knowing I couldnt them back.  Later, she approached me presenting the original photos she had taped back together. She had trimmed down the faces so there were plenty photo slivers pieced and taped back together. They still looked as bad as you'd imagine yet I was so touched, it didnt matter.

Obviously, I am too young to be having kids, but I am frequently placed in charge of my younger cousins when they are dropped by or when we are in their company.

My cousin Elizabeth (7) and her brother James (5): Elizabeth likes to have all eyes on her. This is hard, considering she has a younger brother; she's as sweet as you like until you have to turn around and talk to someone else. She'll be plaiting your hair one moment, and yanking it because you're not focusing on her the next. She actually managed to uproot some of my hair, once. =__= She also likes to terrorize my cats. James isn't so bad, except the cats scare him, so he thinks the solution is to scream and run at them until they go away.

My cousins Matthew (11) and Adam (9), and Nathan (11) and Lewis (9): Matthew and Adam are brothers on one side of the family, Nathan and Lewis on the other - but it's like they're identical pairs. You put them apart from each other and they're nice as can be, but put them together? They still don't understand the concept of sharing, of not swearing, of not throwing themselves around in a strop, in not hitting each other, in not breaking things...

I love playing babysitter. <__>'

Original Post by sun123:

FUNNY:
Kiki (about 5 yrs old) walking in on her dad going the bathroom and coming out to laughingly whisper to me, "I saw daddy's vagina."

PMSL! You made my tea come down my nose!!

How about eating a tub of nappy rash cream and 'decorating' the fireplace with it...you think vaseline is hard to clean??!

Or doing a poo in the bath and scooping it out to show me.....

My grandchildren think that the hamster's home is our heating duct system, even though hamster has a really nice house full of pipes to hide in.

Hamster is going to be a roasted hamster in the winter.

Living room walls are an open canvass for four budding artist.  Their mother is washing walls daily.

I have learned (after having my adorable nephew over) that the mr Clean Magic eraser is a godsend!   Crayons + cute little boy = no more white walls.....  This is why I don't have kids yet!  His mother couldn't understand why I was so upset...  I ended up laughing about it 10 minutes later.  He also tried to "ride" my dog.  Poor Porsche is traumatized! 

 

this morning, my 20 month old Joey (the same one who threw my phone in the tub yesterday and only has a vocabulary of about 15 words) she was walking by me to go the other room and I put out my arms and said "come here"

She looked right at me and said "F**k You"

 

How do I treat that, she is too young for hot sauce and I don't think she knows what she's saying or that it's wrong, but obviously I need to watch my mouth around her, because I have potty mouth at home, but in the classroom I never slip.

What do you think?

We have a dark brown, wood sided house. My son (he was about 8) took a can of spray snow and wrote POO in 5 foot letters on the side of our home.

FYI, spray snow settles into dark brown wood and doesn't come out. I was out running and came back and saw the writing from a block down the road. I thought some gang members from the town over came and tagged our home (since it's a large, prominent wall on a busy corner).

As I got closer, I realized it was the POO gang, member: one (my son)