An argumentative society

Is it just me or do people like to argue more than they used to? And some times it gets down right nasty on here. It keeps me from posting a lot of times. I just saw in another post where someone was told to stop infecting the gene pool! I am a peace keeper and maybe this forum is too much for my sensitive soul to handle. I have been on here a while and haven't connected with anyone because so many are interested in arguing rather than creating a motivational friendship.

Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, it's okay to disagree, that's where solutions come from. What I am talking about is when people talk in a derogatory manner or call someone an ugly name just because they disagree with an opinion. An opinion is simply that and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Perhaps we are losing the ability to judge which opinions should be kept to ourselves due to the increased use of the Internet?

aw, this isn't a new thing. Its a forum thing. I have seen it on every forum I've been on.

It can get much, much worse than what you see here!

Not that its right. But yes, the internets seem to magnify the crazies.

I've been chased out of The Lounge before. What passes as witty banter for some is downright offensive to others- like me and obviously you too. I'm no prude by any means and can be fairly obnoxious myself. Know that many on these forums post frequently and feel that they're among friends rather than on a public support site. In other words, they're not always on their best behavior. I obviously come here and read some of the posts- they do usually crack me up- but go to the other motivational forums for that group support you're talking about. You might want to spend more time there.

pj

Original Post by kmejia250:

Is it just me or do people like to argue more than they used to? And some times it gets down right nasty on here. It keeps me from posting a lot of times. I just saw in another post where someone was told to stop infecting the gene pool! I am a peace keeper and maybe this forum is too much for my sensitive soul to handle. I have been on here a while and haven't connected with anyone because so many are interested in arguing rather than creating a motivational friendship.

Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, it's okay to disagree, that's where solutions come from. What I am talking about is when people talk in a derogatory manner or call someone an ugly name just because they disagree with an opinion. An opinion is simply that and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Perhaps we are losing the ability to judge which opinions should be kept to ourselves due to the increased use of the Internet?

You are not alone. Many people do not post to the forums for that same reason. I have a mental list of people here that I would love to meet in person just to see if they are as mean/nasty in real life as they are on here. It seems many come on-line to hide behind their internet persona's and take out their frustrations on others. I call them "internet cowards" because most would not say the things that they say on-line to someone's face.

Yes some topics are more "sensitive" than others but it would be nice if people had the mindset to debate the topic without personally attacking someone else because they have a different opinion. I think people do that because they run out valid things to say regarding the topic at hand. Then again some like to argue for the sake of arguing. Others just like to instigate and antagonize. Whatever the reason, putting someone down to make yourself feel better is all about being insecure.

Don't lose heart though. There have been some great conversations on a variety of subjects. I have met some very cool people on here in spite of all the pettiness. Those of us who choose not to participate in the "bullying" usually just comment in each other's journals or send personal messages.

Original Post by kmejia250:

 What I am talking about is when people talk in a derogatory manner or call someone an ugly name just because they disagree with an opinion. An opinion is simply that and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Perhaps we are losing the ability to judge which opinions should be kept to ourselves due to the increased use of the Internet?

I agree in the name calling and pointless stuff like that is just petty and lets you know what level of a person you are speaking with...

But opinions on subjects are another issue all together. I dont think people should keep those to themselves (as long as they have reasons for it). Even if that opinion is offensive to people, that shouldnt make a difference.

On the surface, the world is a lot "nicer" when everyone just keeps things to themselves. But its all just an act, because they are still really thinking those things. Its better to just get it out in the open and be able to discuss it than to allow it to fester and carry through to generation to generation.

I think a LOT can be gained by being open with opinions and keeping the abiliity to discuss them.

Original Post by change_in_sc:

It seems many come on-line to hide behind their internet persona's and take out their frustrations on others. I call them "internet cowards" because most would not say the things that they say on-line to someone's face.

 I don't understand your obsession with this. How are opinions any more or less valid depending on where they are spoken? You think simply because you may intimidate someone face to face that the opinion suddenly vanishes? No, simply they will just think it instead of saying it to your face.

Or maybe thats how you think opinions works? Those who can back them up physically are the "winners"?

I guess I just don't see it the same way. I don't think your ability to intimidate people makes your argument any more valid....

the best thing to do if someone resorts to name calling is ignore it because then they just look stupid...

lorik, I think you may have hit on something. Maybe over the years we have kept so much inside that it has festered in to no one being able to discuss rationally their differences of opinion. Hmmmm

I actually enjoy the conversations among friends that throw that kind of stuff at each other in a funny way but you can tell the difference even if you are not part of that group. I so wanted to find a group like that and am just disappointed that I haven't.

Motivation comes in funny ways and it isn't always weight related (as in the Motivational Forum). Sometimes just coming on here and reading someone's funny conversations is motivation to me. Sometimes I just want to come here and "talk" and laugh and not think about my weight issues.

Original Post by loriklorik:

Original Post by change_in_sc:

It seems many come on-line to hide behind their internet persona's and take out their frustrations on others. I call them "internet cowards" because most would not say the things that they say on-line to someone's face.

 I don't understand your obsession with this. How are opinions any more or less valid depending on where they are spoken? You think simply because you may intimidate someone face to face that the opinion suddenly vanishes? No, simply they will just think it instead of saying it to your face.

Or maybe thats how you think opinions works? Those who can back them up physically are the "winners"?

I guess I just don't see it the same way. I don't think your ability to intimidate people makes your argument any more valid....

And here is one of the people that I was referring to. I knew you would show up Lorik...LOL I haven't seen you call names but I have seen you be condescending. You also admitted in another post that you will express certain opinions (that you know others will find offensive) while out with a group of people, loud enough for others around you to hear but you when you are by yourself, you keep your opinions to yourself. In my opinion, that is cowardly but to each his/her own.

Back to the OP. I was not talking about differing opinions. I am talking about name calling and being rude. Most of what is said in a lot of these posts would never be said to someone's face. Why? Because most people would not allow someone to talk to them in that manner. So if it's done on-line and not in person, again IMO that person is a coward.

FYI - Just because I don't put up with other people's crap does not mean that I am intimidating them. I treat people with the same respect that I want to be treated with. You can have a different opinion without being a jerk to someone.

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Original Post by loriklorik:

Original Post by change_in_sc:

It seems many come on-line to hide behind their internet persona's and take out their frustrations on others. I call them "internet cowards" because most would not say the things that they say on-line to someone's face.

 I don't understand your obsession with this. How are opinions any more or less valid depending on where they are spoken? You think simply because you may intimidate someone face to face that the opinion suddenly vanishes? No, simply they will just think it instead of saying it to your face.

Or maybe thats how you think opinions works? Those who can back them up physically are the "winners"?

I guess I just don't see it the same way. I don't think your ability to intimidate people makes your argument any more valid....

And here is one of the people that I was referring to. I knew you would show up Lorik...LOL I haven't seen you call names but I have seen you be condescending. You also admitted in another post that you will express certain opinions (that you know others will find offensive) while out with a group of people, loud enough for others around you to hear but you when you are by yourself, you keep your opinions to yourself.

Back to the OP. I was not talking about differing opinions. I am talking about name calling and being rude. Most of what is said in a lot of these posts would never be said to someone's face. Why? Because most people would not allow someone to talk to them in that manner. So if it's done on-line and not in person, that person is a coward.

 WIN..I LOLed literally.

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Original Post by loriklorik:

Original Post by change_in_sc:

It seems many come on-line to hide behind their internet persona's and take out their frustrations on others. I call them "internet cowards" because most would not say the things that they say on-line to someone's face.

 I don't understand your obsession with this. How are opinions any more or less valid depending on where they are spoken? You think simply because you may intimidate someone face to face that the opinion suddenly vanishes? No, simply they will just think it instead of saying it to your face.

Or maybe thats how you think opinions works? Those who can back them up physically are the "winners"?

I guess I just don't see it the same way. I don't think your ability to intimidate people makes your argument any more valid....

And here is one of the people that I was referring to....

Back to the OP. I was not talking about differing opinions. I am talking about name calling and being rude. ..

 Um, aren't those statements kind of conflicting?

Arguments on CC are entertaining and a lot of people start stuff just to start stuff ;)

I have to say that i have always found loriks debates interesting, some of his opinions i agree with some i don't but i can honestly say i have never seen him be down right rude.

Original Post by andie-1:

I have to say that i have always found loriks debates interesting, some of his opinions i agree with some i don't but i can honestly say i have never seen him be down right rude.

 2nd.

blunt maybe.

the rude ones (*cough*terri*cough*) are very blatant about it.

Its laughable.

Though the sad thing is, to me, some of the rude users happen to be adults. If it were a teenager I'd understand. And another issue is people judging other people's opinions, comments, and eating habbits. I mean really who are we to judge? We're not god and we're not perfect, and somehow they have the delusioned idea that it's "ok" to ridicule someone's opinion and view-points. As stated by previous users, the anonymity factor plays a big role in having your every-day "killjoy" as I'd like to call them spoiling the forums and ruining a good debate topic. Heck I've been criticized and judged about my optimism once.

See, it's taken me a while of being on here as well as checking out some other websites for me to realize that this site is actually quite tame compared to most.  We don't allow blatant name calling here, we try to keep the inflammatory posts to a minimum, we don't allow blatant foul language, no spam, nothing excessively disruptive, etc.

The only thing that I wish were different were the political and religious debates.  I've heard on more than one occasion (and felt it)  that people with certain beliefs/views don't feel like they can post here without getting ridiculed and "jumped on" by certain posters.  But, unfortunately, that's life.  And I try to remember that this is first and foremost a website dedicated to healthy living.  And those crappy posts/posters are just a very very small part of a website that has done wonderful things for me.  This is why I remain here.

Original Post by mr_omario:

Though the sad thing is, to me, some of the rude users happen to be adults. If it were a teenager I'd understand. And another issue is people judging other people's opinions, comments, and eating habbits. I mean really who are we to judge? We're not god and we're not perfect, and somehow they have the delusioned idea that it's "ok" to ridicule someone's opinion and view-points. As stated by previous users, the anonymity factor plays a big role in having your every-day "killjoy" as I'd like to call them spoiling the forums and ruining a good debate topic. Heck I've been criticized and judged about my optimism once.

 Been in the real world lately? The world is full of ****, and they can find their way to the internets as easily as the interstate, the grocery store, the workplace, etc.

All "adults".

People, as a general rule, are insane.

Original Post by mr_omario:

Heck I've been criticized and judged about my optimism once.

 Happy people don't have a problem with other happy people so I guess there are a lot of unhappy people here. Stress and negativity can make you fat and even kill you so keep up the optimism mr omario!  

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Original Post by mr_omario:

Heck I've been criticized and judged about my optimism once.

 Happy people don't have a problem with other happy people so I guess there are a lot of unhappy people here. Stress and negativity can make you fat and even kill you so keep up the optimism mr omario!  

It's users like these that make this site enjoyable =]

I hope people would learn from her example...and I will ^_^

I've found that the Penny Arcade Greater Internet ******** theory is pretty close to reality in a lot of instances. Though as an old UseNet vet from before SeptemberNet I have yet to see anyting really nasty here; even our trolls are pretty tame.

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

 Been in the real world lately? The world is full of ****, and they can find their way to the internets as easily as the interstate, the grocery store, the workplace, etc.

All "adults".

People, as a general rule, are insane.

The world may be full of "****" I still find many respectable adults in real life [atleast where I'm from]. Everyone should have some amount of ettiquete to be able to interact with each other peacefully and enjoyably.

Now heres a horrific place to imagine, a place where everyone's extremely rude with no respect to anyone, and everyone is self-centered and judgmental. How will doctors cure patients? How will the cash clerk avoid shooting the customer? How will a psychiatrist or psychologist be able to treat his/her patients? How will a judge try a case fairly?

And the list goes on.

Thanks for all of the comments, makes me feel much better and welcome!