How Our Pals Can Help or Hinder Weight Loss

When you're trying to lose weight, you've got a lot of battles on your hands. Temptation seems to be at every turn - in your pantry, your fridge, at the office, and the fast food joint around the corner. One place you're probably not expecting a challenge is amongst your friends.

We expect our pals to be sources of empathy and encouragement, but instead, it is not uncommon to find out that not everyone in your life will support your weight loss efforts. In fact, some people may try to make you fail.

Why Do Friends Falter?
Sometimes it all comes down to one ugly four letter word: Fear. Does your best pal feel the new, svelte you will move on to things he doesn't enjoy? Perhaps a fellow singleton fears your social life may improve and you'll ditch her for hot dates.

Maybe your healthier ways are making a friend feel guilty about her own less-than-perfect eating habits. Or worse, maybe you make her feel better about her own weight issues when you have one, too.

So many of our social activities revolve around food, when you start changing the way you eat, the way you relate to your friends changes, too.

To get the "old you" back, some pals may start trying to push food on you or suggest you remain a couch potato alongside them. A key in preventing or solving this situation is communication - make it clear from the get-go that you're serious about losing weight and that you need your friends' help to make it happen.

Asking for Help
Here are some ideas for what to say:

• I need to lose weight for my health. I can't do it alone and I trust you to help me.
• Please don't eat tempting foods around me or encourage me to eat them.
• Please don't suggest activities that center around eating.
• Help me avoid my danger zones (e.g. buffets).
• Take an interest. Ask me how I'm doing now and again.
• Join me in exercise or simply being more active.
• Don't offer me food from your plate or to split fattening meals with me.

If you find someone doesn't acquiesce once you've explained, you may have to distance yourself from them. Once you're more comfortable with them, you can start getting back together.

If your activities normally center around a restaurant or bar, suggest new ones: museums, concerts, plays, etc. Better still, get active by going dancing or playing tennis.

Get Slim and a Social Life
Losing weight doesn't have to mean losing your old friends, but it can mean making new ones.

Groups like OA, Weight Watchers, and TOPS are also wonderful situations in which to other people who want to lose weight. When you are among a group of like-minded people, you're sure to find them a source of motivation.

The Basics of Buddying Up
You could buddy up with one person and set a date to exercise together. When you make an appointment to work out... you're far more likely to actually show up and do it!

Research shows that having a buddy can help you stick to your diet too. They can give you determination when temptation strikes and are only a phone call away.

One of the best ways to choose the right person for the job is to identify your own problem areas... then compare each other's weak spots.

For example, if you tend to snack late at night, find a night owl who you can call and chat with instead of reaching for that Ben and Jerry's! If the vending machine at work is your bane, a coworker who also fights the mid-afternoon munchies will fit the bill.

Who to Choose
Make a list of potential weight loss buddies and keep in mind that you want to at least be familiar with their personalities before striking the weight loss deal. If you're less likely to respond to a cheer leader than a bossy type, choose the right buddy for your needs.

Keep in mind that if you buddy up with someone who is impossibly positive and tells you you're doing great in spite of that bag of chips she just watched you inhale, she's not going to do you any good!

If you don't know anyone else who is trying to lose weight, you can still buddy up. Someone who is slim may have struggled in the past or be empathetic even if they never had a problem of their own.

A Buddy for Keeps
If you're the only one trying to lose weight... no problem. Just let your buddy know that you need her help and encouragement, and most of all, someone to be accountable to. Make sure to devote time to activities that aren't weight loss-related like taking in a play or having a chat over a non-fat latte. It's not all about weight loss after all!

The best part about finding a weight loss buddy? Chances are your relationship will eventually be about more than counting carbs or working out together... It could be the start of a beautiful friendship!