au natural, part two

Hi All :)

I am expecting my second baby...I'm only about a month along but I'm already thinking about the delivery! For my first baby (currently 11 months) I used a Birth Center and midwifes...no pain killers. I have two feelings about my experience...(1) really happy about not having to give birth in a hospital...hospitals make me uncomfortable and I wanted to have control over my birth...which I did and that was GREAT! i did not have to speed up my labor with medications, and am really happy that my body controlled the delivery (2) really traumatized about how difficult and painful it was. I think my raging hormones played a role in feeling so upset afterwards b/c I was so stressed out with worry over the responsilibty of taking care of an infant BUT I was incredibly shaken for weeks after the delivery. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't realize how tough it would be FOR ME since everyone has a different experience. And my labor was relatively mild compared to some birth stories that I have heard! About 12 hrs of labor, 2 hrs of pushing...I did tear tho :(

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone had the same experience...feeling worried or nervous the second time around. I would like to go back to the birth center for baby #2, but I am afraid of the trauma and don't know how to make it easier on me. Note, the setup at the center was wonderful...they had a birthing tub, a comfy bed, a quiet cottage where I was basically alone with just my hubby and the midwife, and I had complete freedom to labor as I needed with them helping when needed.

Thoughts? Experiences?

Thanks!

there is no shame in drugs.  but the drugs during labor will not  cure the after pain.  I was sore/painful for about 6 weeks post birth, for the first few, I would tear up every time I rolled over or had to sit up.  So.... its really a personal choice.  If you want medication, there IS NO SHAME IN IT.  You may also want to see a dr about your feelings about your birth last time-- you may have a bit of PPD that you should take care of and which might have lead to your issues after birth.

Good luck!  (And congrats on the new baby!)

I would go natural again in a heartbeat, but did not have the same experience of a long labor and tearing as you did. I had an epidural the first time to curb the effects of gallstone pain (which I was unaware I had) during my labor, but the second time went natural. I had an easier recovery this time, labored more quickly and did not tear as with my first.

I think your body acts quicker the second time around and tearing won't be any easier or worse with or without drugs.

Ultimately I say go with what you are comfortable with. If you are not 100 % commited to a natural birth, leave your options open. I will say that the pain comes and goes quicker than you remember. Did you jacuzzi or anything during your first? Also, did you do preparations like perenial massage to help lessen the chance of tearing?

I gave birth to all 3 of my kids in the hospital but had no drugs, medical intervention etc.  One thing I did was labour sitting in the shower with the shower wand on my stomach and back.  It almost killed the discomfort entirely.  I recommend shower over tub as the pressure of the water dulls everyhting.

I second spuckine, the shower is amazing. I honestly almost had a hard time telling when I was even having some contractions while I was in the shower.

While I didn't get the benefit of experiencing a natural delivery thanks to an emergency c-section, my plan with my first child was to just make it for as long as I could before having any pain meds. I was just going to go with how I felt because I wasn't required to let them know in advance.

I finally broke down and had an epidural when I was approximately 6cm dilated. I'm sure I would have made it longer had I been allowed out of bed to try some of the things others suggested. Moot point, though.

I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to experience childbirth naturally (besides the three hours I was in labor with my first). I guess the important thing isn't how my children were born but that they were healthy, strong babies :)

Original Post by aeetheri:

I second spuckine, the shower is amazing. I honestly almost had a hard time telling when I was even having some contractions while I was in the shower.

Thats exactly what it was like for me as well.  In the shower with that water pressure didnt think I was in labour until I got out to be sure.  Then hopped right back into the shower.

I can only speak from a different prospective. I had a HIGHLY medicalized labor. IT WAS AWFUL and far from anything I had wanted.  I realize labor hurts and it did but the over all hospital experience was Horrible.

However, after wards I was great.  I won by my womanhood with my DS.  I took control over him and me while we were in the hospital and after we got home. 

I had almost the same experience as you, only I had my baby at home rather than in a Birth Center (not sure what they are). I was both extremely happy to have him at home (and I loved the fact that the three of us were together for that first night, in our own bedroom), but more than shaken at how painful it had been, and then overwhelmed by the whole responsibility. I had a tear too, a ten hour labour... And then twenty-one months later came my little girl, and she slid out like a letter through the post! Short labour (1h45), reasonable pain (really!), three pushes and out she was, stretching her little head up to look around the room with her big wide blue eyes... As for number three, he's another story...

All births are different, and the passage has been made by your pioneering first child, so you may very well have a much easier labour next time!

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your comments and stories!

I did not try the shower last time b/c it was not available in the room where I was...I'll be sure to see if I can have that this time!!! I've got my fingers crossed that this labor will be easier, and I'm planning to talk with the midwives to see what I can do in advance to help calm my fears. I DO need to do the perennial massage...did not do that the first time.

Nat1968, the Birth Center is a place run entirely by midwives for the purpose of prenatal, delivery, and postpardum care. I thought about having the midwives come to my house so that I wouldn't have to make the drive home the same day as giving birth, BUT I decided I preferred to have the *mess* somewhere else, lol. And I'm glad...it was pretty messy :-/

Thank you again everyone! Your comments have really helped.

Original Post by thinny1980:

 I decided I preferred to have the *mess* somewhere else, lol. And I'm glad...it was pretty messy :-/

The honest truth is that I never saw any of the mess myself! The midwives sorted everything out while I was cuddling the baby and relaxing. By that time, I was completely out of it and hardly noticed what was going on around me.

I did not have to prepare anything beforehand either. In the UK, you can pretty much decide at the last minute that you want to have the baby at home, although it probably helps to let them know in advance. Also, you can change your mind at the last minute and go to the hospital after all.

If you're in the UK, you could plan to go for a homebirth, and then if you decide when the time comes that you would rather go to hospital, that would also be an option. Perhaps that would be a way of calming your fears?

PS: You can also ask for gas & air at home.

Original Post by nat1968:

Original Post by thinny1980:

 I decided I preferred to have the *mess* somewhere else, lol. And I'm glad...it was pretty messy :-/

The honest truth is that I never saw any of the mess myself! The midwives sorted everything out while I was cuddling the baby and relaxing. By that time, I was completely out of it and hardly noticed what was going on around me.

I did not have to prepare anything beforehand either. In the UK, you can pretty much decide at the last minute that you want to have the baby at home, although it probably helps to let them know in advance. Also, you can change your mind at the last minute and go to the hospital after all.

If you're in the UK, you could plan to go for a homebirth, and then if you decide when the time comes that you would rather go to hospital, that would also be an option. Perhaps that would be a way of calming your fears?

PS: You can also ask for gas & air at home.

 You are SOO lucky to be in the UK.  The US's maternity care is horrible, unless of course you like the whole being told exactly what to do by MD's who supposedly have your best interest at heart.  I would HATE to see what would happen to our maternity care if it were in the hands of the Gov't.  I could easily see the AMA running off the midwives for good. 

Denise

Okay, here's my biased opinion: I had my 15 month old med free at a birthing center as well. I'm not lucky enough to be in your shoes, on number 2 (I wish I was, but I want to finish school :() but I've still got some input.

I was totally freaked out about no meds, but kind of got ushered into by my mom. I always just assumed I'd go with the flow and have meds. I'm really, really glad I went natural.

Watch the movie "The Business of Being Born" if you have not already. Ricky Lake drives me nuts, but it gave me some information that I hadn't know (after the fact). Like, when you're given an epidural, your labor slows down, therefore increasing the chances of an even longer labor (not that it won't happen naturally) And then, in a hospital, when you are in labor too long, they give you pitocin (or they give you pitocin and then the epidural) to speed up labor. These two fight each other, combined with just laying down (common mistake) and labor goes too long for the doctors and they recommend C-sections. Which is why the C-Section rate is now 50% in the U.S. (also thanks to designer births)

Also, I think once the adrenaline kicks in, you will surprise yourself and be able to do it all over again. Plus, it's supposed to be faster! :) Do those perineal stretches! I tore too and had the same amount of labor time. The last 2 hours were the worst!