Okay, that sounds wrong...I'm not literally craving baby flesh, but I have been having intense desires to get pregnant in the last 2 months. INTENSE. When I see a newborn baby or even a pregnant woman I get kind of teary eyed because I want that so bad. I am getting married to my fiance of 3 years next June (well, by June we will have been together 3 years). I understand that getting pregnant immediately after getting married isn't always ideal; I have seen both of my sisters do this and it didn't bode entirely well for their marriages or personal lives/careers. I want to be more established financially and be certain that our marriage is solid before bringing a child into the world.
Did this intense longing happen to any of you ladies?!
yeah, i used to have those. wait it out; it will go away.
I am 22 and that is young but I have had mothering urges since I was in middle school. I blame it on my babysitting days. And I'm the oldest of three children.
I finally caved last summer and got prego with my boyfriend. Definitely under less than ideal circumstances 
But now I have my baby girl and I've never regretted making her for a moment. It has always felt right.
And unfortunately for me, the baby bug has NOT gone away even with a baby.
I was sitting in the delivery room already thinking about when baby #2 will come.
I'm not going to give in this time (even though I do intensely want to be pregnant again) until I'm through with nursing school.
I think if you and your fiance do love each other and want to make a baby then I don't think it will ultimately matter if it was before or after or slightly after you got married.
Yes, had those. We ended up waiting for six years - it was hard, but it got me through my master's degree. Of course, I'm not using it now - I'm home with the kids.
Everyone says wait for the perfect time (stability, finances, etc), but honestly, by the time that time comes around, you may have missed the boat. We have friends that are in that situation. I'm not urging you to rush on, but you've been with your boyfriend for three years - how much is actually going to change after you are married? We moved in together after we were married, we waited until marriage to have sex, but we knew each other pretty well beforehand.
Discuss it with your boyfriend, and do what feels right for the two of you.
Thank you all so much! :)
We got the opportunity to spoil a pregnant friend of mine and realised we liked buying baby stuff so much and were so excited about her pregnancy that we really wanted one of our own. In October we made the decision to have a baby within the next year. In December we started buying for our own baby and have a closet full of diapers, clothes, burp cloths, and baby wipes.
When March rolled around, two months before our one year wedding anniversary we decided to test our luck and see if we'd get pregnant. We did.
It wasn't the first time we had baby fever, but it was the strongest urge we had, and we discussed every aspect we could of it, altered my work schedule, made sure a baby would fit into our budget and we were both healthy enough. I see nothing wrong with a baby in the first year of marriage. The only thing that changes when you get married are tax papers and your last name (if you choose) anyway.
Original Post by wanderlustful:
Did this intense longing happen to any of you ladies?!
Nope. And I have two kids.
Thank you all for your help!
CelluliteDelight:
I agree about the marriage thing--we have been living together for 2 years so far so we are like common law married, haha. It is weird being a little sister (both sisters are 10+ years older than me) and seeing them have kids when I was 13 or so and now, finally reaching the age where that is attainable and "normal" I guess. It is kind of strange how you don't feel any different. Anyway, congrats on the baby. That must be so exciting!
Oh yes...Trying to fight through these feelings now. I've never ever ever wanted children, so imagine my surprise when out of nowhere I'm like, hey I could do this! All while my husband and I dated and were living together before we got married (about 3 years), I didn't want children period. I have a step daughter and that was enough for me. I'm 23, so hopefully my biological clock hasn't started ticking yet, but that's what I'm chalking this up to, some crazy thing that all women go through.
I think there's a huge difference between baby fever and wanting to be a parent though. I want a baby, yeah, but do I want to sacrifice potentially my career and my free time and my money and my lifestyle in general to have a baby any time soon...NO. So we're not waiting until we have the money or until we think the time is "right"...We're waiting until we want to parents (again kinda).
You're totally not alone and I've been struggling with these feelings for about 3 months now, and I've wanted to post more than once on here seeing if anyone else felt the same.
Original Post by cellulitedelight:
When March rolled around, two months before our one year wedding anniversary we decided to test our luck and see if we'd get pregnant. We did.
CD- do you know what you're having? Or is it going to be a surprise? What do you think the baby is?
Im so glad you posted this! I am going through this right now too. I just turned 24 and have been married almost 2 years. DH and I always thought we would never have kids. We just had no desire to be parents. A couple of months ago I started to have dreams where I was pregnant or had a baby. Then I started to feel it consciously. Now when I see cute kids, hear funny stories about my neices, or think of a little sleepy baby, I get an intense longing. DH and I are both still in grad school and have about a year left. It would NOT be a good time for a baby but I want to be pregnant so badly!! I was a few days late and actually took a pregnancy test and was pretty bummed when it was negative(about 2 hours ago!). I told DH and he seemed relieved. Unfortunately, even if my baby cravings don't go away, Im gonna have to wait until DH is ready.
I find out what it is in a week, but we're not telling anyone until the baby shower, if I can bring myself to actually have one.
Well, statistically couples who are married longer before having a baby have a better chance of staying together. My pediatrician is also a psychologist and she was telling us at our newborn visit that the first year of our daughter's life would be a very challenging time in our relationship. Like it or not pretty much everything WILL change after having a baby, no matter how much you promise your spouse it won't-- it is going to. You go from being the most important person in each other's lives to being a distant #2.
That all being said we now have a 10.5 week old daughter and we are just figuring it all out enough to be in a comfortable routine (for now). I love my husband in a totally different way than I did before, but we are both stressed and pressed for sleep so we are a little shorter with one another. I make it a point to never go to sleep angry with him and to let go of the small things. Any help he can give me I need to appreciate even if that means he's not doing things the way I want them done.
But yes... baby fever is INTENSE!
I think waiting until you and your partner are ready is wise. However, waiting until "everything is just perfect" will almost guarantee you will never have a child. There is never a "right time". Either you have kids when you're younger and healthier but don't have the career thing "settled just yet" (within reason, of course) or you have kids when you're older and more established, but not as healthy or able to get pregnant. It's always a toss-up.
Of course, this should all be taken within reason - I'm not saying go out and have a baby at age 18, and I'm not saying that just because you wait you'll be unhealthy or anything.
I'm just trying to express that the right time is when you're both ready to take on the job of parenting. And when you are, no matter how settled you are, there will always be a good degree of "life juggling".
Cheers,
V.
I totally feel like lbh - never wanted kids until 2 years ago! I always figured I would have one, when I'm well over 30, and that having 2 would be out of my league :) I also don't go crazy when I see kids - I'd much rather pet a kitty. But I figure that other people's kids are just annoying, and I'd love my own, sort of an instinct I guess.
Anyways, back to the topic - I've been married for 2 years now, and we were together for 7 years before getting married, so I know my partner quite well. We just finished grad school and are looking for jobs, so getting pregnant now wouldn't be very wise. At the same time if I were to get pregnant now, I would NOT regret it! I feel like I'm ready physically and emotionally to have a baby, just not financially haha :) That's not such a problem tho, we live in Sweden, the system's different. So, I'm finding it really hard to not try to get pregnant every time we have sex. And mind you, he wants kids more than me. My urge is very instinctive, my biological clock is ticking (I'm 29), but he has always liked and wanted kids.
OK, long story, just sharing. I guess I'll just let it happen when it happens :)
Yup. I'm 23, been married for going on 2 years, and I've had baby fever since before we got married - but as time goes on, it tends to be more and more. It's partially hormonal, and every month before my period it spikes. Every month I as TTOM approaches, I think that maybe it won't come, maybe I'm pregnant.
My husband is not ready yet, which I understand. He wants a baby, but doesn't feel ready. And I want him to be ready, so he can deal with the stress and the responsibility of a baby, so I'm trying to be patient for another year or more (but hopefully not more.) It's very hard.
The only way I can find to deal with it is to focus on other exciting changes - career goals, new hobbies. Easier said than done, though, because I find it hard to resist checking pregnancy forums and reading up on baby equipment nearly every day. It's not easy, but it will be much better for everyone involved if we're both ready for the challenge.
I absolutely understand what you are saying. I am a newlywed (just got married in March) and I totally have the baby bug. I am nearly 24 and my husband is 28, and he feels it too. I cannot wait to have children.
We are, however, going to wait a couple of years. We live in Rome, Italy and the salaries here just aren't what they are in the US...but the cost of living is similar to that of a large American city...not to mention the housing prices are like those of New York City. Since I do not have a job yet (still waiting on papers to be able to work...boooo bureaucracy!), we barely have enough money to pay rent. So, it would be irresponsible to have a baby right now. I am hoping to get a job in the next few months, and my husband is pretty sure he will be getting promoted soon. In the meantime, I teach private English lessons. Hopefully things will fall into place money-wise.
