Baby Shower....do i have to????

So here's the situation....my husband's friends wife is preggers. And when she got preggers i was nominated to do the baby shower...not asked. Granted she is only 8 weeks along so there is plenty of time for me to resolve this issue. I really would rather NOT do the baby shower...because...well...i don't know this girl! I feel like a baby shower should be done by a close friend or relative...of which i am neither to her.

Here's where it gets tricky though...she threw me a baby shower when i was preggers 2 years ago. Mainly i believe because my MIL threw her wedding shower. Kind of a you did this for me so I'll do this for you thing. I was really uncomfortable with her doing my baby shower but didn't really feel i had a choice. So do i now have to repay this and do her baby shower...or can i back out? My MIL just kind of pushed me into it without even asking me.

It depends on how big of a bitoch you're willing to look like.  Me, I'd just grin and bare it.  The last thing you need is a MIL hounding you. 

of course if you "grin and bare it" then be prepared to do so for the rest of your life. if you talk to the mom-to-be in a reasonable fashion and tell her how you feel ya'll should be able to work something out, unless she's a b****. in which case i wouldn't want to do anything for her at all if it was me. good luck!

if you really don't want to then don't! because if you force yourself to you'll make a half hearted attempt which might be obvious to her on the day and I think that would be worse than telling her NOW that you would rather not have this responsibility.

If you end up doing it, I would make the MIL that committed you to it pay for it.  And also she should help.  Another person should NOT be comitting your time, money and resources without your consent.   But you kinda gotta do it since she threw you one.

No you do not have to do the stupid baby shower! You didn't say you were going to do it, and you don't want to , so don't do it!

Just tell the mom to be that you can't do it. She may ask why, so you have a choice. You can be honest and tell her what you posted here, or you can be half honest and tell her that you can't financially afford to, etc. Further more, I'd let that MIL know that you don't want to be volun-told to do something ever again. You're not a child who needs to be ordered around! OOhh, I hate that!

No way!  You're not obligated to do anything you don't want to.  But maybe you should just ask her if anyone else is willing to do it?  Or try to get your hubby to ask the father-to-be?  I find it hard to believe this girl has no closer family and friends that would be thrilled to throw her a shower.  She may not even want you to throw her a shower if she's got a closer friend or family member that would like to do it.  Although, I realize she did it for you, so she might expect you to return the favor.  Still, I would've felt akward if someone I barely knew would've wanted to throw me a shower. 

Just say no. For one thing the girl's still in her first trimester and any baby shower is at least five months out. For another, you were not asked directly, you were volunteered by an in-law and that immediately gives you an out. Don't leave people up in the air though and let them think that you're going to do it if you have no intention of following through - if you don't want to do it, just say so right now and get it out of the way. It's not like it's even a relative having the baby, it's a friend-of-a-friend type thing.

thanks for all the replies. I'm going to tell my MIL this week that i'm not doing the baby shower. I dont see why my MIL and the girls MIL dont do the shower themselves...they have been best friends for like 10+ years....why i got thrown in the mix i dont know!? I'm sure my MIL is going to be pissed...but she'll get over it!

 Lol!  I would've offered! I don't see the harm in returning the favor personally. That doesn't mean you should do it though. In honesty you may be doing her a favor in bailing. :) I think it sounds like a whole lot of fun. That's just my personality! If I were you: I'd be direct and considerate.

 People bail on these types of things all the time. It's not like you'd be the first person to excuse yourself. It's important that you tell her and/or your MIL asap either way! The only harm is pretending to be planning when you aren't. I wouldn't make the bailout about her. It's not her fault that your MIL jumped the gun to volunteer you. It wasn't nice of your mother in law to offer you up to do it. ( I wouldn't mind such a thing. I would actually think someone knew I'd enjoy it so volunteered me. Lol ) It wasn't in your best interest to go along with it from the get-go. Next time: Just say " I wish I could... I can't. " Ect.  I imagine your MIL thought you wouldn't mind since she'd helped you previously with a shower.( That's giving her the benefit of a doubt due to my personality. ) There is a nice way to go about it without offending anyone. A nice/direct way.

I'd tell my mother in law not to volunteer me in the future. That you don't have the time to take on the responsibility.That you'd appreciate that she help break it to ( mother to be )since she volunteered your services. It's important to be there when it's done or on the phone,ect.( That way you know it's handled and she's been informed correctly/nicely.)

 I'd help my MIL/or the Mommy to be find a potential replacement! Or: Be co-planner staying involved until the slot is filled. Or to help my MIL as co-planner for it if one couldn't be found. Suggest: Both MIL's do it together, ect. Or: Sister/s of Mom-to-be. Or SIL's ect. In all honesty you may've been ' throw in ' to add to the guest/gift list. Lol! All of your friends/co-workers,ect. It's also possible they felt it would gather a younger group. That's a notion helping the mom-to-be mingle at the shower. Just sayin'

You could always tell your MIL that you could invite more guests. Or: Help in a certain regard... That you just can't agree to being the one hosting the shower. That's considerate. :) You aren't rude everyone has their own comfort level.